𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚎 & 𝙰𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 | 𝙱1 𝚂𝙺𝚉 𝙵𝙵

28

[Jisung's pov]

The air was harsher than a simple autumn chill hinting that winter was just around the corner. There was frost on the windows, just a thin layer that melted if you planted your hand against the glass.

I pressed my index finger against the car window as Seungmin turned on the defroster. I watched, mesmerized, as the frost melted away with the heat of my finger.

I pulled my jacket tighter around me, wanting the chill to go away.

Winter was my favorite, even though Autumn is a gorgeous season, the winter was my favorite. The snow I always admired. Not that it has snowed yet. It won't for another couple of weeks. That's when I realized something.

"Christmas is just over a month away." My voice was next to silent but Seungmin still heard me.

"It is. What are you're plans?" He asked the question and I realized I hadn't talked to my father... since my very first semester of college. Not that I'd want to see him.

"I don't know actually. I don't have a strong relationship with my father."

"Hmm, we'll only two of us have families in Seoul. Hyunjin & me, aside from Minho, his family travels for the holidays. The rest normally fly off to where their families are. But we do spend a couple of days together beforehand. This year Hyunjin is going to meet Jeongin's family, so it'll just be me and you here."

There was a moment of silence before he continued, "You're welcome to stay with me and my family, so you don't have to leave Seoul." There was yet another small moment of silence. "I'm sorry about the thing with your father."

"Don't be. He's been that way since I was born." I felt Seungmin's eyes on me while I looked out the window.

The rest of the ride to school was silent. I felt Seungmin look at me but I just stayed staring out the window.

There were people accumulating from everywhere now. Especially since we got closer to the college.

From some reason, I felt sick to my stomach at the simple thought of stepping out of this car and into the world.

I felt sick to my stomach at the thought of having to sit down in class and listen to a lecture that's not very helpful.

I felt sick to my stomach when I remembered I'd be stuck by myself.

I felt sick to my stomach when I remembered... Woojin was in my last class.

I didn't wasn't to be here. The sickening bubbly feeling was coursing in my lower abdomen. It would rise and fall, making clutch my stomach.

My breathing was quickening, the pattern fell out and I was just breathing to try and stay calm. I was slightly failing.

I didn't want to be here today.

I don't wanna be here. I don't wanna be here. I don't wanna be here. I don't wanna be here.

I couldn't stop moving my legs. I was bouncing my legs at the pace of what seemed like 80 miles per hour.

My fingers were antsy and toying with the fabric of my shirt.

My eyes couldn't seem to focus on one thing, but inside looked at every single thing around me.

The parking lot was crammed with students standing by their cars, gossiping and laughing with friends.

I could almost here the high pitched laughs of girls through the glass windows.

I looked at Seungmin who had just put the car into park in a spot.

He was looking at me as if I told him a long and confusing story that he had missed the point of.