𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚎 & 𝙰𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 | 𝙱1 𝚂𝙺𝚉 𝙵𝙵

53

[Hyunjin's pov]

It's been three days. Three off days. Everyone was thrown off there routines, the way we all went about our morning included him in everything. Three days and yet it felt like decades.

How long does heartbreak typically last?

I let out a deep sigh as I pulled my hood over my head and tucked Jisung's red hoodie into my bag.

The chance of coming face to face with him in class not only hurts, but awakens me to everything I could say to him.

Despite everything, I don't think I'd be able to say anything. I just want to hug him. Tell him I missed him, drag hun away from the classes and hold him.

I didn't get to hold him before he left, I didn't get to keep him close. I want to make up for that.

But Jisung is smart and calculated when it comes to certain decisions, I probably won't ever be able to do that again.

He's probably already gone through the process of last minute switches for classes or even dropping out of certain ones, or even take them online. His goal was to disappear completely, he can't do that if he still has to face us in school.

I just didn't understand why he chose to leave behind so much of his things. His side of the room still decorated with parts of his soul. He left his mark here, why didn't he just erase it?

I sat on the edge of his bed. It's the only place I've actually been able to sleep.. even if it was a maximum of three hours. It was sleep.

I was procrastinating. I didn't want to go to class, not because it sucks and it makes me want rip my hair out. But because deep down I know, no matter how much I hope, he won't be there. The seat he took next to me will be empty, or worse... taken by someone who can never be him.

"Hey.." Jeongin knocked against the wall to get my attention. "We should probably go." His voice was weaker, he sounded so lost.

Last night I could practically hear him screaming in his sleep. You promised. Those two words repeated over and over. I could hear them through the thin walls. Jeongin hasn't slept well either. I'm pretty Seungmin hasn't been sleeping much at all.

We were all becoming rough around the edges. Our appearances turning dark.

I stood from the bed and took slow steps as we both walked out. My head turning back to look into the room one last time.

That was becoming my routine. Staying in his bed all day, crying when I realized his scent was fading. Anytime I left the room, I'd stare inside as if it was gonna be the last time I was there, as if everything of his was going to disappear before I could come back.

Nothing was the way it used to be. Morning routine had disintegrated to ashes, even before Jisung came here we still had life. We had happy moments, and when Jisung came into our lives it was all so much better.

Now that he's gone..

God, why do I think about him as if he's dead?

It feels like death, feels so close to death. The emptiness. His laughter doesn't echo through the house in the morning, you can even feel that lack of his presence. You can tell that he's gone as soon as you walk in the door.

Changbin entered the house just as we were about to walk out. His head down and he didn't say a word to us as we left.

He's spent most of his nights at a bar, drinking it all away. But it hits him even harder in the morning when he realizes he can't drown this out.