[[忘羡 | WangXian 3]] : Our Flesh And Bones

Curb.🔞

**

Lan Wangji was shivering. He could not feel the cold; he really wished to be able to feel the cold at that moment – at least he would be feeling something. 

He feared that his heart was dead, and his soul was empty. His mind was only showing him the picture of Wei Ying's expression of utter pain and hurt, and he could not stop the tears that were getting the front of his robe wet. He was trying extremely hard to concentrate and meditate, but it was pointless. 

He was too shaken.

He heard someone approaching; perhaps it was Bai Li again, coming to beg him to finally come back inside and get out of the wet clothes. He could not deal with it; he kept his eyes closed, ignoring it all. 

But in just a moment he felt a warm palm on his face, and heard a familiar voice say softly:

- Hanguang-Jun, will you have lunch with me today?

Wei Wuxian bit his lip – the golden eyes opened, but they were overflowing with bitter tears; Hanguang-Jun looked ghostly pale and now his eyes looked paler too, as if the color had drained from them together with his tears.

- You... You have forgiven me?  –  he said weakly, unable to believe.

- Have you learned your lesson, Wangji?  –  he asked softly.

- You shouldn't forgive me. I hurt you again. You shouldn't. This time you shouldn't.   –  he whispered desperately.

- Perhaps. But, you see, husband, the problem is – I love you very much.  –  Wei Wuxian smiled, now cupping his wet face in his palms.

- Wei Ying...  -  Lan Zhan was breathless.

- Lunch?

Lan Wangji nodded, too happy to be able to speak to him again. 

His lover took his hand and helped him up, leading the way to the master bedroom. Wei Wuxian was awfully thankful to Bai Li – the fire in the room had been lit all this time; the housekeeper never lost hope that the two of them would return soon.

He brought Lan Zhan close to the fire and started undressing him carefully, taking off all the wet clothes, until he was absolutely naked. Hanguang-Jun was watching him, mesmerized, missing him. He finally dared ask:

- Do you still love me, Wei Ying...? Do you still want me...? After everything?

Wei Wuxian smiled and his hands undid Lan Zhan's hair, spreading it gently to the sides to dry, sighing at the marvelous sight. 

He fell to his knees and kissed his belly, then his hips, then moving down to kiss his thighs, listening to him gasp and sigh, and moan, as he took the tip of his cock on his mouth gently. Lan Wangji shivered all over, feeling the hot mouth embrace him, caress him, slowly and tenderly; it was unbearable.

Wei Ying didn't stop; he took his cock fully in his mouth, sucking very patiently, waiting for the erection that he didn't doubt was coming. His hands caressed Hanguang-Jun's thighs and hips, sliding to his back and grabbing his buttocks firmly, pressing his body forward, pushing his shaft deeper in his throat. 

Lan Zhan was moaning with the pleasure, it felt way too good. His hands caressed Wei Ying's hair, resting on his shoulders, giving him freedom to determine the pacing and depth, as he felt his hard-on grow with every move, with every sigh, with every new gulp of air.

Wei Wuxian was getting lost; he wanted to show his loved one all his tenderness, all the love he had for him. He let his hands caress his back, moving his head carefully, sucking him slowly, kissing and licking, letting his tongue play with his tip. Lan Wangji was whimpering with the amazing feeling it all brought, as Wei Ying was moving slowly, and oh so gently.

- Wei Ying...  -  he whispered.  –  I love you, Wei Ying...

- Beloved...  -  Wei Ying gasped.

- Stay with me... Don't let me go... Please...  -  he begged.

- I am here, husband.  –  Wei Wuxian murmured lovingly.

**

When Bai Li knocked later and brought them lunch, she was too content to see them lying on the bed together, both stark naked.

- Bai Li, a bath.  –  Wei Ying said dreamily.

- Yes, Master.  –  she bowed and was about to leave.

- Bai Li?  –  he propped himself in the bed, looking at her.

- Yes, Master?  –  she turned, expecting more orders.

- Thank you. For everything. We both appreciate it greatly.  –  Wei Ying murmured, smiling.

She bowed, smiling back, and left them alone.

***

- Why, Wei Ying? – finally Hanguang-Jun dared ask.

They were staring in each other's eyes, drunk in love, caressing each other gently, carefully. Wei Wuxian smiled.

- Let's eat, my love. I am starving.

- Please. – Lan Zhan grabbed his arm as he was just about to get out of bed.

Wei Ying sighed and came back, and cuddled back into him, hugging him tightly. He said, half whispering:

- A friend reminded me how much you love me, my heart. I was acting childishly, forgive me. I let my ego get the best of me, and I hurt you too... Marriage means sacrifices. I understand that.

Lan Wangji gasped and pulled him away from himself to look at him, alarmed.

- No. No... It is never alright to have sex unless we both want it. Please, don't say that!  – he frowned.

- Hanguang-Jun, it is not always possible for the both of us to be in the mood. Sometimes it just doesn't work... although I am too happy this happens very very rarely. – he grinned, propping himself up in the bed so that they could talk.

- No. – Lan Wangji shook his head. – What are you saying? That I should fuck you even when you don't really want it? No.

- But obviously it happens a lot? – Wei Wuxian offered, still slightly shocked by the conversation with Miao Lu. – It is supposed to happen a lot to wives... out there? – he mumbled.

- What?!  –  Lan Zhan sat up in the bed, shocked. – No. No, I don't want such marriage.  Absolutely not. I don't want you to make such sacrifices, ever.  –  he grunted, almost angry.

- It's alright, darling...  -  Wei Wuxian caressed his face, trying to calm him down.

- What... Are you telling me that this... this has happened before?  –  Lan Wangji looked at him, terrified.

Wei Wuxian looked away, blushing.

- Wei Ying!!!   –  he yelled, horrified now.

Lan Zhan felt his warm embrace around his body, and Wei Ying murmured in his chest:

- I really love you very much, Hanguang-Jun... Do you understand?  It's just...sometimes you demand too much, Lan Zhan... and I feel it's not fair... And my pride resents it... I must learn patience still. Humility. 

- No! Why?! – Lan Wangji was lost for words; the thought of his husband enduring his passion without wanting it fully terrified him. – Never do this again.  Ever! Promise me. Wei Ying, swear it to me!!!   –  he cried desperately.

- Love like ours hurts, Wangji. – he said gently. – Don't make me swear anything.

Lan Wangji turned his head to hide his tears. It was too much. The pain he was causing was too much.

- It's my fault. I should train to curb my desire for you better. I cannot ask any more sacrifices from you. It's my fault, only mine. – he mumbled through clenched teeth.

- No, my heart. Please no.  –  Wei Wuxian moved and sat in his lap quickly, taking his face in his hands. – Please, don't. I need all of your passion, Zhan... Please... I need it all, and more. No one else but you can satisfy me... Don't hold back on me...  It would be the most awful thing in the world, my love... Please, my love... Please, husband...

- Wei Ying...  -  Lan Wangji muttered sorrowfully.

- I love you. I love you extremely much.  -  Wei Ying breathed, desperate for a confirmation.

- I love you too, sweetheart...  -  Lan Zhan leaned in his forehead on his lover's shoulder and exhaled.

- Have lunch with me, Hanguang-Jun? I can't wait for you to feed me again...  -  he blushed, licking his lips seductively.

- Mmmm.

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