[[忘羡 | WangXian 3]] : Our Flesh And Bones

Cut./Bleed. [TW]

Note:

I am placing a TRIGGER WARNING for self-harm and gore.

***

Wei Wuxian woke up in his own bed. 

Was it all just a very bad dream? 

He blinked and slowly remembered why he was back in Gusu. The bed was empty and he sighed. But then he turned his head to the left, and there he was – Lan Wangji was kneeling next to his side of the bed, his eyes were closed. 

He gasped - Hanguang-Jun looked very pale, and very weak, as if ill. He blinked again - Hanguang-Jun was never ill. 

But then he whispered, remembering:

- The core...

- Are you alright? Are you feeling better?  –  Lan Wangji momentarily opened his eyes and immediately asked him as soon as he heard his voice.

Wei Ying turned his face to the other side to hide his tears.

- I thought I told you to stay away. – he grunted.

- I did. You were dying.  –  Lan Zhan said sadly. – Our brothers decided to save us... although I don't see the point. – he relaxed back, sitting on his feet and moving a little away from the bedside. – I'll let you rest. – he said quietly and stood up to leave.

- Why... Why did you do it?  – Wei Ying said weakly before he reached the door.

Lan Wangji froze. He felt like the air in the room was all gone.

- Why did you rape me, Lan Zhan?  –  he asked quietly.

He turned around and took a step back in the room, but it was almost automatic. He felt that his heart was not beating, that he was falling, but he managed to stutter:

- I ... I was so hurt... by those words... I am sorry... It hurt so much to hear that you don't feel I love you enough... I was...  -  his voice broke and he fell to his knees, hiding his face in his hands and weeping pitifully.

Wei Wuxian stood up from the bed with difficulty, but approached him. 

He said:

- I told you I would let you know when it's too much. It was too much. I said "no",  and you kept going, Wangji.

- Forgive me... if you can...ever...  -  Lan Zhan sobbed, looking up in despair. – I know you probably won't... it's unforgivable... I was so bitter... so... so heartbroken... I hurt you... Forgive me...

- The hurt was not for my body, Lan Zhan. – Wei Wuxian said sadly. – It is in my heart.

- I know. Too well. Tell me what can I do to atone? – his golden eyes were glistening with tears, looking up at him with hope, desperate to make amends. – I love you. Wei Ying, I love you so much...  -  he sobbed.

In one cold moment, Wei Wuxian said without thinking:

- Give me your heart, Hanguang-Jun. A hurt for hurt. Show me your heart – I need to see whether it's still true, whether you really love me.

For a moment, Lan Wangji felt light-headed and shuddered; for a moment, the Yiling Laozu  was back. 

He nodded, in a trance, and unsheathed Bichen.

- Yes. One final cut.  –  he murmured, before closing his eyes and pointing the sword inwards, and plunging it into his chest.

Wei Wuxian shuddered, and, as if waking from a nightmare, he jumped forward just in time to pull the sword away from his hands. He was kneeling in front of Lan Zhan, watching him with horror – he was smiling blissfully and the wound on his chest was bleeding profusely. 

He looked truly happy – he now had a clear instruction for his punishment, and it was finally something he knew, something that he knew how to do.

- Idiot!  –  Wei Ying hissed, taking off his shirt, and opening Lan Wangji's robe quickly. He pressed it to his chest to stop the bleeding. 

Lan Wangji shivered, his lover's touch was too much for him at that moment; he tried to move away, but felt dizzy and fell on his back instead.

Wei Ying fell forward, lying on his chest now, still pressing hard; the smell of blood was making him dizzy, but thirsty too. He sighed deeply and removed the bloody shirt – the wound was shallow, and he thanked the Gods for that, it would close up soon if Lan Wangji was strong enough. 

He didn't look so, however, so he pressed himself to his husband's body, trying to give him a little of his warmth, and of his strength. Lan Wangji was smiling, feeling him, and now his arms wrapped themselves around him, as millions of times before, and he hugged him, risking everything.

Wei Ying's face was burning; weak and defeated, he was kissing all over Lan Zhan's chest gently, licking and sucking on his wound, kissing over it, licking his lips, drinking his blood greedily. 

Lan Wangji murmured happily:

-Take it, my love... Take all my blood... Take all my life... Take out my heart – it's yours anyway...  -  he repeated the words he was gifted with for his birthday.

Wei Wuxian shuddered and moved up to kiss him deeply – the kiss was bloody and desperate, urgent, thirsty. 

They broke it, though, as there was a quiet knock on the door, and Lan Sizhui and Zewu-Jun entered carefully, as they thought the two of them were sleeping. 

There was wild terror on their faces when they entered the room – Wei Wuxian was lying on top of Lan Wangji, looking down at him hungrily, smitten, his face all bloody. Lan Zhan was smiling as a madman, staring at him lovingly, with mindless devotion, and his mouth and the front of his body were all bloody. 

They rushed to help them, but quickly stepped back: Wei Ying growled and his eyes shone in red – he never knew when he had embraced the resentful energy, but he growled savagely, menacingly:

- Don't dare touch! He is mine! Leave!!!

Lan Xichen mumbled "It's a good thing Wanyin is not here.", and they quickly left.

They lay on the floor for some time, frozen, immobile, staring at each other, in love. Finally, Wei Ying said, grinning:

- You were ready to die, dragging me to Hell with you, weren't you, idiot?

- Yes. I love you. To the Death.  –  Lan Zhan was smiling back, all his teeth were bloody red.

Wei Wuxian said nothing, but his mouth continued its work, kissing brutally, making his lover moan and tighten his grip on him. The wound was slowly closing, and he suspected that Miao Lu was nowhere near their room, and as long as they were close – they were truly immortal. 

He was licking the blood, fascinated, lost, and it was sweet, and it made him feel better. 

In the end it was done, the wound was almost gone, and Wei Ying cuddled into his lover's bloodied chest, satisfied and happy to be close, and they stayed like that, lying on the floor, hugging.