[[忘羡 | WangXian 3]] : Our Flesh And Bones

Sweetheart.

Married life agreed with Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji, all their friends and family undoubtedly believed that. Whenever anyone came to visit them, or whenever they'd meet with members of any of the other Clans – all that people saw was love and happiness written all over their faces. Harmony and peace reigned over their home, and it was good. For a time.

"Idle hands do the Devil's work.",  they say. 

So, how do you live in harmony and peace, when you are still young and foolish, and full of energy?

For Lan Wangji, routine was starting to get dull. He was having a hard time to keep his mind sharp, and would spend huge amounts of time in the Library. On most days, Wei Wuxian would be bored out of his mind. He was so desperate for some novelty that he even started learning to play the guqin - to Lan Zhan's utter horror, this ended up in a miserable failure, the noble and gentle instrument was a total mystery to his husband. The Gusu Lan Clan disciples kept them preoccupied on most days, but as both men were famous and inspiring respect and awe - this was no challenge to manage. Everyday life was full of people bowing to them, fearing them, asking them to re-tell the story of their past over and over again, or straight out avoiding them.

They never discussed this aloud, but both felt the same – this was wearing them out; they became more and more secluded over time, avoiding people. Wei Ying tried to convince himself that this is what happened to everyone once they married. But then his mind flashed the thought: "Yes, this is what happens to old people." There were no more challenges left to them.

Tonight he was sitting on the rooftop, brooding over all these things, when a whiff of the wind suddenly brought a familiar scent.

- Ah, Lan Zhan, this brings back memories of better days! – he grinned, turning his head to face his husband.

Lan Wangji took his time to carefully sit himself next to him, casting a quick glance at that grin that was warming his heart so inexplicably.

- Too right. Why are you out so late, sweetheart? – Lan Zhan's eyes wandered up and over the rooftops – the moon was full and the whole area surrounding Cloud Recesses could be seen as clear as day.

- Uhhhh... - Wei Ying momentarily crawled closer and leaned in to grab and hug Hanguang-Jun's arm, being all clingy and dewy-eyed all of a sudden. He mumbled in Lan Zahn's neck:

- Bad, bad Hanguang-Jun! You know how such words affect me... You know it very well, and you decide to use it now?! You never use it in the bedroom! Bad, bad...- he moaned. It was very rare that his husband would use pet names for him, and it turned him on like hell.

Lan Wangji smiled, enjoying his lover's moaning and rubbing his face in his neck. He coughed slightly.

- You never answered my question, Wei Ying.

Wei Wuxian sighed and pulled away, still mumbling under his breath "Bad, bad, bad Hanguang-Jun!".

- I don't know! – he threw his hands in the air. Lan Zhan cast another quick look, this time squinting his eyes. He knew him. He was restless. 

And, surely, soon enough Wei Ying blurted out:

- I am restless.  I feel like something is missing. I am missing something, and I cannot quite put my finger on it. And it drives me crazy.

He sighed deeply. Lan Zhan realized this was not just a childish tantrum, or a whim. He had also noticed that Wei Ying had been quite stir-crazy lately.

- It's like I'm a prisoner... - he words rolled out of his mouth because this was how he felt, but when he looked at the now silent Lan Zhan, he saw sadness on his face. He was quick to add:

- Ahhh, Lan Zhan! It's not like marriage is a prison! Haha! Uhhh... –  he laughed awkwardly, grabbing his husband's hand in his.  –  Actually, being married to the most beautiful man in the world is the best thing that has ever happened in my miserable life...  -  he said happily, leaning in to kiss Lan Wangji's cheek.

- I see. I could feel it too, in you. You miss your old way of life, maybe? The "better days"?  –  Lan Zhan asked thoughtfully, trying his best to hide his relief after hearing those words.  – We could... go visit relatives? Or go hunting? Or...   -  it seemed he was out of ideas.

Wei Ying rolled his eyes.

- Yes. Precisely.  We have done all this. Many times! Resentful energy has been subdued. Monsters have been cleansed. Jin Ling is all grown now, and happily married too. Baby Sizhui is a general now! We have read all the books in the Library Room. Is this our life now, Lan Zhan?! Teaching??? Managing servants? Deciding the meals for dinner? Ughhhhh!  –  he growled, standing up and, hands on his hips, letting out a frustrated yell.

Lan Wangji did not comment. 

His childhood had been a straight line, but ever since Wei Wuxian entered his life, it was constant jumps and falls, and meandering and head-over-heels tumbling. His heart was also torn between the life that was his past, and the new life he had started with his beloved. Both were his, for sure, and he perhaps cherished both equally, for different reasons. But he knew Wei Ying would not let things go if he felt trapped.

- Tomorrow we will meditate over this. Come to bed.   –  and without further ado, Lan Zhan was gone.

Wei Ying puffed and looked up too.

- Perhaps the moon affects me... Perhaps I am indeed an old man now. Perhaps the next rain will bring pains in my bones.  –  he grumbled, and also got off the rooftop.