23th June 2012 I changed a little after the incident. I constantly have nightmares, sleep poorly or not at all because I always dream about my father. I have become calmer than usual. I get tired faster than usual. I also eat less. However, I have no problems with my schedule. I didn't even notice that I had changed. My teachers told me, and Hoseok thought I looked a bit pale too. It's 1:48 a.m. and I don't want to sleep because I'm scared of having a bad dream. I decide to paint something. I get out my equipment and start painting. I don't draw baselines anymore. I just start drawing without worrying about the lines being crooked.
This is what I drew: (these pictures are not mine, they are from Pinterest)
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When I finish it is 3:54 a.m. Perfect timing. I should have got up in 6 minutes anyway. I get ready for the day and do my morning routine. I look in the mirror and see that I have dark eye circles and have lost weight. I look a little thinner. To cover my dark eye circles I put some make-up on it, then I go.
