Reflections - TWD

87. Change.

Negan has to change. That's what Isabella kept on telling herself, Negan had to change because if he didn't, Rick was going to kill him. Or Maggie, or Daryl, anyone for that matter. Negan was going to die, and Carl didn't want that. Carl had asked Isabella to stop this. And Negan had to change because Isabella had to keep her promise to her big brother.

Isabella couldn't sleep. It was bad enough when Abraham and Glenn died, but Isabella was starting to get over that. She would always miss them, but she sometimes felt happy now. Carl was a different subject, Isabella didn't know how long it would take to stop feeling sad about this, maybe forever.

If Isabella was feeling this bad, she couldn't imagine how Rick was feeling. She couldn't grasp why he wasn't just bursting into tears at any moment, any other man would've. But no, not Rick Grimes. He was headstrong, a man of his word, he promised to protect these people and that he was going to do.

Isabella was pacing the halls when something caught her eye from inside Rick and Michonne's room. There was one letter left, something else Carl had to say. Maybe it was for someone who wasn't here, Isabella knew she shouldn't look, but something in her gut was telling her she had to.

Slowly, she crept towards it and picked it up, reading the name on the front. Negan. It took her a few seconds to process that fully. Carl took time out of his day, his final day, to write a letter to Negan...and it was just laying there. It had been a few days, there had been chance to read the letter or send it off, but it was untouched.

It was wrong, but, for Carl, it was right. So, Isabella decided that today would be the day she'd speak to Negan again, for Carl.

—

Five miles south of Hilltop. That's what Daryl had said to Maggie, the sanctuary was five miles south of Hilltop. Isabella didn't really know which way south was, but she guessed from the position the sun was in. She also didn't know how long a five mile walk would take.

It was a pretty stupid idea for her to walk through the woods on her own when the sun was setting and it would be dark by the time she got back to the Hilltop, if she could find her way back.

Positive thoughts, Isabella, positive thoughts. She kept on repeating in her head and occasionally muttering under her breath. It was pretty positive when she saw the tall, black buildings. That was the sanctuary.

After about two and a half hours of hiking through the forest, she'd made it. She walked into one of the tall buildings and hid behind a window, where she could see Negan standing on the balcony.

The last time I was here, so was Carl. Scarier without him.

She took a deep breath and clicked the radio on, taking the letter out of her other pocket. "Hi. It's Isabella."

Negan tilted his head and reached his hand around to his back pocket, taking the walkie out. "You shouldn't be out here," he grumbled. "You alone?"

"Yeah," Isabella almost whispered, she wanted to tell him she was scared for some reason, but she managed to hold that in. "I need to speak to you."

She saw Negan sigh and lean his head down for a moment before reaching the walkie back up to his face. "Yeah? What about?"

"When Carl was...about to, um," Isabella paused, looking at her shoes for a moment. "He wrote you a letter. I need to say it."

Negan wanted to say something snarky like, I can't promise I won't kill the messenger, but he wasn't going to say that. Not to a little kid. Not to a scared one. "Okay."

Isabella took a final deep breathe, the final words of Carl she'd ever hear wouldn't be for her. But she had to do this for him. "Negan, this is Carl. I was helping someone. I got bit. We didn't even have to be doing what we were doing. I was just helping someone. And now I'm-" she swallowed the lump that was rising in her throat. "Now I'm gone. You might be gone. Maybe my Dad made your people give you up and he killed you, but I don't think so. I think you're still around and you're working on a way out. Are you listening?" Isabella looked out the window, just to make sure he was.

Negan scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I'm listening."

"Okay, good," Isabella turned her focus back to the piece of paper and carried on reading. "Maybe you got out. Maybe you think we're a lost cause and you just want to kill all of us. I think you think you have to be who you are. I just wonder if this is what you wanted. I wanted to ask you. I wish I could've. Maybe you'll beat us. And if you do, there'll just be someone else to fight. The way out is working together. It's forgiveness. It's believing that it doesn't have to be a fight anymore. Because it doesn't," Isabella paused to take a shaky breath, this was harder than she thought it would be. "I hope my dad offers you peace. I hope you take it. I hope everything can change. It did for me. Start over. You still can...Carl," she wasn't expecting her voice to crack on that last word.

Negan started to speak after a moment. And his voice wasn't rough or stern, it was soft and gentle. "All this...I'm sorry, Isabella, but there is no getting out of it now. I wouldn't accept Rick's surrender if he came to me on his knees. I never wanted this. Rick made this happen."

Isabella felt the tears sting at the back of her eyes and she stomped her foot. "Abraham was the first man that you killed-"

"Sweetheart, I-"

"Please," Isabella begged. "Just let me tell you about them."

Negan felt guilty because he would never want to take anything from a child, that's why he didn't kill Rick, because Carl was right there.

Negan didn't say anything, so Isabella continued. "Abraham, he was first. He was holding my hand because I was scared. He took care of me when nobody else gave a shit. Glenn, he was second, he was supposed to be a dad in a few months. He was the kindest person I ever knew. He hardly killed any of your men, I killed more of your people than he did when they took me."

"Isabella, I didn't know them," Negan sighed.

"I know. That's why you can change, you didn't know that you were killing good people- and- and you can change, like Carl said. You can be good because anyone- anyone can," she wiped the tears off her face. "Please, you have to. They're going to kill you and I have to keep my promise to Carl, it was my-" she cut herself off, Carl told her not to say that or even think it. "Please."

She shut her eyes and looked out of the window. His eyes widened for a moment and then his eyebrows furrowed, that's all Isabella saw before everything went black and her hearing was shut off.

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me finally updating WHAAAAT????

please leave a vote and a comment of what you thought of this chapter! it gives me motivation and I always appreciate it! thank you! <3

me because I have 3 fic ideas and I want to write them all but I can't balance my fics (2 Daryl father figure and 1 Negan father figure) HELP ME...I'm so tempted to write another Daryl father figure

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