Reflections - TWD

76. Dad.

Apparently, Isabella, Freddie and Daryl all had to stay at the Kingdom while they got more fighters. Isabella wasn't too happy about it, she didn't want to be stuck there while all the Saviors were out there. It wasn't fair.

Freddie was petrified, his reasoning for not wanting to stay was because there's a huge tiger here.

He came and sat down on the steps by Isabella after a while. "What's going on with you? You're acting weird, you didn't even call Daryl 'Dad',"

"His name is Daryl," Isabella huffed and wrapped her arms around her knees.

"Yeah, but you call him Dad," Freddie reminded her.

"John was Dad too, don't want another one of those," Isabella picked at the material on her jeans, making it start to break slightly.

"Daryl isn't John though," Freddie shook his head. "From what I've heard, John sounded like an asshole. Daryl isn't an asshole."

Isabella huffed and rubbed her eyes for a moment. "I'm just growing up, okay? I tried to pretend, I tried to make it seem like Daryl really was my Dad from the start. But he wasn't and he never will be. I wanted to believe it, but I couldn't. And every time I say that word, I think of John. I wanted to make it seem like to everyone at Alexandria that I grew up fine and Daryl really was my dad."

"What's getting into you, seriously? You're getting all grouchy and mean, it's not nice, Bells," Freddie shook his head. "I've not done anything wrong. Neither has Daryl."

Isabella wanted to just punch Freddie in the nose. It wasn't going to achieve anything, but it would make her feel better.

The truth was, Isabella wanted Daryl to be her dad. But he wasn't. And when she pretended, she felt embarrassed. She felt like everyone was looking at her, staring at her, mocking her. They weren't, but that's how she felt and she couldn't help that.

She remembered being attacked by the dogs and calling him dad for the first time. That was embarrassing. She'd only done it a few times, and every time, she'd hear John's voice in her head.

Did Daryl even want to be a dad? He didn't seem to want kids, ever. He'd never said anything about them. Did he want to be her dad? Why was she suddenly thinking like this?

She just didn't want to pretend anymore. She wanted it to be real, she wanted him to be her daddy from the start. But he wasn't. John was. No matter how many times she calls Daryl dad, John's blood will always match hers.

"Shut up," Isabella stood up and walked away, grumbling something under her breath. She found Daryl on another set of stairs, so she went over to him.

"Hey," he gave her a short-lived smile and she returned it.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled. "Everything's just going really shitty. And I'm being an asshole. And I shouted at Freddie, now he probably hates me," Isabella wanted things to go back to how they were. That one week at Alexandria where Daryl was home and everything was fine, until it wasn't.

Daryl shrugged. "Been a long week."

"That doesn't mean I can act like this," Isabella sighed. "Freddie asked why I didn't call you dad."

Daryl nodded, not even looking at her. He didn't really know what to say. Somehow, when the world went to shit, Daryl found something he'd needed for a long time. A second chance, a chance to change something, help somebody.

"I just...I can't get him out of that head, I think I'll always think of him when I say dad. I don't want to, I wanted you to be my dad more than anything, but you're not. I wanted to pretend, I felt stupid pretending."

"Just 'cause somebody's blood don't make 'em your family. John ain't your dad," Daryl shook his head. "He never was a dad. He was an asshole with a kid."

Isabella nodded and put her head in her hands. "It makes me angry. If you're my dad now, why couldn't you have been my dad from the beginning? I wish I never knew him."

Daryl didn't like to think about the person he was before he met Isabella. When he imagined him with her as a baby, his personality was how he was now with her, kind. But he knew that in reality, that wasn't the person he was nine years ago. He was a copy of Merle back then.

Daryl nodded. "I know, baby. I wish I could've too."

Isabella didn't understand why her brain couldn't just pretend. Why every time she'd call Daryl dad, she'd think about John five seconds later. Daryl wasn't John. He was nothing like John. Yet, that word haunted her.

It haunted her when she cried out "Daddy! Please, stop!" Whenever he'd put her over his knee. It haunted her whenever he'd apologise after burning her, and she'd say. "It's okay. I love you, Daddy."

It wasn't okay. She knew that now. She didn't love him anymore. She loved Daryl, but something about the word dad would always be associated with John.

"If you could go back in time and make me yours, would you?" Isabella looked up at him.

"Mhm," Daryl nodded without a moments hesitation. Even if it would've taken everything in him nine years ago to control his anger, he would've done it for her. And by the time she was seven, there wouldn't have been a single scar on her.

Isabella nodded back to him and then stepped down the stairs, walking away and just taking a look around.

Being a dad scared Daryl, hell, it terrified him. He wasn't made for that. But, for some reason, he'd do anything for Isabella. He'd give up his life, he was ready to at the lineup. He never got to thank Abraham for being there for Isabella when he wasn't.

He thought about how he would comfort her when she cried. How he would read her bedtime stories. How he would hold her hand when crossing the street.

Then, he realised, whether Isabella was born a Dixon or not. He'd do all that for her anyway.

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please leave a vote and a comment of what you thought of the chapter! it gives me motivation and I always appreciate it! thank you! <3

a short chapter but an important one!!! i felt like it was unrealistic that Isabella would call Daryl dad with no thoughts of John, so I thought I needed to explain that

this chapter is making me consider writing a bio Daryl kid fic...I need to STOP making new fics I think I have a problem

THANK YOU FOR 29K READS

I'm gonna try to write a chapter of casually cruel but idk if I'll finish it