Reflections - TWD

86. Letter.

The walk back to Hilltop was silent, deadly silent. Maybe it wasn't, maybe it was in Isabella's head, but the world was just quiet and empty. It hurt, god, it hurt so fucking much. Her heart would sink to her stomach whenever she thought about Carl.

Once they got to the Hilltop and Enid knew, she dropped to the floor, but Isabella's world was still silent despite her sobs. The worst part that broke all the silence? That had to be when Rick and Michonne arrived, because their baby boy should've been with them, but he wasn't. Their baby boy, Isabella's big brother, was dead.

Without a word, the day after they arrived, Rick handed a letter to each Isabella and Freddie.

Isabella just sat on her bed after pacing the room with the letter in her hands. It was from Carl, thinking about it, he probably wasn't making a plan, he was writing the letters. She couldn't bring herself to open it, she couldn't because it would be the last thing she'd ever hear from Carl, and she didn't ever want Carl to go away. Ever.

After a deep, shaky breath and with tears streaming down her face, she took the paper out of the envelope.

To Bells,

I know you're probably crying while reading this, and I know that you're probably blaming yourself. I don't want you to do that, you can't do that to yourself. You do it every time we lose someone and it's never your fault. You're such an amazing person, Isabella, please, never change. I think you're the reason that I'm so kind, because I saw you, and even if you're younger than me, I wanted to be just like you, but nobody could ever really be Bells, could they?

If there's one person who can stop all of this with Negan, it's you. I know you can. Nobody has to die, you know that too. More people are just going to get hurt. You can stop this, I know you can because you have the biggest heart I've ever seen. And I know that you don't want anyone to die, even if you won't admit it to yourself, Negan doesn't have to die and you don't want him to, either.

I miss when we used to talk at the prison, and I'm sorry I never got to invite you to my birthday party. You would've been a really cool guest to have.

You're my little sister. Even if not by blood, you're everything a little sister should be. You protected me and I protected you. And you're the best big sister ever to Judith, she couldn't ask for a better one. Thank you for being there for me, thank you for giving me two little sisters.

Don't cause too much trouble with Freddie.

I love you, kid. Carl.

Isabella felt like she was going to throw up all over again. Her big brother was really gone, he was never coming back. He'd never lecture her or Freddie ever again. She wanted to say thank you to him, thank you for being the best big brother a girl could ever dream of. But she didn't, she couldn't, and she wouldn't.

—

Freddie was just the same. He sat on the steps outside of Barrington house and slowly took the paper out of the envelope.

To Freddie,

The first time I met you, honestly, I thought you were going to be a real pain in my ass. I was so wrong. Without you and Bells, I would've just been lonely for a while.

I've seen you grow. You probably haven't noticed it, but when I first saw you, you were weak and terrified. Now, you stick up for yourself and other people. I'm proud of you. I know that the things that happened with Pete still get to you, but you've got so many people who love you, so many people who would do anything for you.

The amount of times you've made me smile or laugh after I've had a bad day is beyond count by now, even if I pretended to hate your crappy jokes, they still made everything a little better.

You've been like my little brother ever since I got to Alexandria, and just because I'm gone that doesn't change anything. I don't want this to change you, or break you. I don't want this to hurt you, even though I know it's going to. I need you to recover, I need you to help people, like how you always helped me. You're so strong and I'm so proud of you.

Don't cause too much trouble with Bells.

I love you, bud. Carl.

Now, Freddie was crying too. Carl was his big brother too. These people, the Grimes family, the Dixon family, Carol and everyone. They'd shown him what family really was, but they just kept on losing them.

—

Isabella could feel the anger rising within her, and the first person who walked through that bedroom door was gonna be the victim of it. The worst thing is that it was Daryl. Daryl who she hadn't spoken to in days.

"You finally wanna see me now?!"

"What-" Daryl was cut off by a pissed off Isabella.

"You keep leaving! Every time you tell me you're not gonna leave but you keep doing it! You come back for like a day and then you just leave, do you even care about me?! You don't even know half of the stuff that happens to me!" Isabella was almost screaming while Daryl just stood there in shock. "All the other kids hate me! Carl was the one person- the- the one person I could go to and now he's gone! Even Freddie, Freddie was making fun of me!"

She ripped the bandage off her ear. "I hate this. I hate being here. I want it to go back to how it was before Negan came along and everything was fine at Alexandria. I want Abraham and Glenn to come back."

"Bells-"

"Why don't you love me anymore?" Isabella cried. She'd never heard him say he loved her, maybe he didn't.

"Don't be stupid," Daryl sat down on the bed next to her. "I do. I love ya. I just have to help the others, they need me."

"I need you," Isabella looked up at him. She did need him. She needed her dad. "I wish you were my real dad, maybe I wouldn't need you so much because then we'd always be connected."

"You say that a lot," Daryl stroked the side of her hair gently.

"I feel it a lot."

Daryl felt it a lot, too.

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sorry I haven't updated in like 6 days I'm trying to balance all 3 of my fics

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I'm just wondering would anyone read a hunger games fic (I'm not going to start it yet because I can't balance the fics that I already have but probably soon LMAO)

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