So I really, really, really love this chapter!
Let me know what you think of it, especially the last part! OMG I cannot get over that last part!
Oh, and don't forget: voting was down on Wattpad last night, so if you read any stories you liked, please go back and vote! :) It means a lot to us writers, and it's also a nice way to say thanks.
Anyway, I'm off to vote :P hope you like reading this chapter as much as I liked writing it!
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Saffron
"Everything's going to be alright, Saf," Logan tells me. "I promise."
I respond with a wobbly smile and Logan hugs me again. I stay in his arms for a while, listening to his heartbeat and enjoying the heat radiating from his body.
"Saf, I have an idea," Logan tells me suddenly.
I look up at him, my face only an inch from his, and quickly scramble off his lap. I wipe at my face with the backs of my arms, wiping away any evidence of tears, and sit across from him. Logan looks at me, and when I blush, he grins.
"So?" I ask, trying to cover my embarrassment. Logan raises an eyebrow. "The idea?"
"Try to relax again," Logan tells me, and it takes me a few minutes to get myself together enough to do it.
"Okay," I tell him when I'm finally ready. I take another deep breath and open my eyes to look at him.
Logan is watching me intently. He's no longer sitting against the tree trunk. Instead, he's leaning toward me slightly, as if in anticipation.
Excitement courses through me. I don't want to get my hopes up, but what if this works? What if I can link? What if unlike Dad, I'm normal?
"Close your eyes," Logan tells me. "Now focus on your wolf."
The suggestion makes me nervous and I automatically tense up. What if my wolf tries to take over and kill Logan? What if I can't regain control, and she does something awful like slaughter a bunch of humans? Or sleep with every single boy at school?
I know I should stay away from my wolf, but what if it could help me link? I'll just have to be really careful and make sure nothing bad happens.
I'm strong. I can stay in control. I repeat over and over, like a chant. Everything will be fine.
Slowly, I begin to relax and search inside me for my wolf. I focus on the small part of my mind where I keep her hidden. When I spot her, I toe the line, keeping her mentally in sight without freeing her. Slowly, I become aware of her existence. She's lying in the mental cage I built for her, her muzzle resting lightly on one paw. There's no rebellion in her, no urge to get out. In fact, my wolf seems to be sleeping.
"Focus on your wolf," Logan continues. "Then talk to me like you would to her."
That could be a problem. Talking to my wolf isn't as simple as talking to another person. It's not like I can just say hi, or text her, or call her up on the phone. It's also not the same as just thinking. If it was, my wolf would be able to hear all my thoughts, and I know she can't.
I used to be able to talk to her, as a kid. It was something that came naturally to me from the moment I learned to shift. My wolf was just there, talking to me, so I talked back. I just haven't done it in years, not since the summer before I started fourth grade. I'm not even sure I know how to do it anymore.
I try to remember how it worked and concentrate on my wolf in my mind's eye. I try a simple hello, but my wolf doesn't respond. I try a few more times, asking if she can hear me, but it's like in her world, I don't exist. Just like most days, in my world, she doesn't exist either.
That's when it starts to dawn on me that Logan's onto something. No matter how much I concentrate or how hard I try to mentally shout greetings, questions, or random words, neither Logan nor my wolf can hear me. If linking and talking to his wolf feels the same to him, then maybe both are done the same way. If that's true, then the reason I can't talk to my wolf is also the reason why I can't link. Unless there's something wrong with me, like there is with Dad, and I won't be able to link no matter how hard I try.
I can't give up, I remind myself, not this easy. Did I give up the time Dad attacked me in the kitchen, and I had to wipe the blood off the counters? No! Did I let my broken arm—which Dad had quickly set before leaving me to it—stop me? No! Did I admit defeat when my vision started to blur around the edges? No! Did I surrender to the inner voice that tried to convince me that, deep down, I couldn't do it? No! No! No! I kept wiping at the blood until the room was spotless, and even managed to drag myself to bed before Dad got home.
As far as pep talks go, that's not my best, but it reminds me that I'm not a quitter.
I'm not giving up, I tell my wolf, though she doesn't seem to hear me. I concentrate on her, and one of her ears twitches. Hello? I call, but she doesn't respond.
I start to tense with frustration and force myself to relax and focus on my wolf. Her ears perk up, and I realize she must be aware of me, at least to some extent. Hey, I whisper, and she looks around, as if searching for the source of the noise. Can you hear me?
She glances around briefly and I can feel happiness radiating off her in waves.
You can hear me? I ask.
Yes, my wolf cries, tail wagging. Let's shift, she tells me. I want to feel the wind in my fur, her words seem to get quieter and more far away as she continues, and the dirt beneath my paws. I want to catch rabbits and—
Later, I tell her, my head pounding with the effort it takes to concentrate on talking to her. We just went on a run. Yesterday's run with Logan should tide me over for a couple of days at least, before the need to shift starts to grow.
You just ... on a run, my wolf replies dejectedly. Listening to her takes extreme concentration, and I end up missing chunks. I ca... even remember ... last went ... run.
I remember when I was younger my wolf would be there while I ran. She'd tell me which way to go and suggest fun stuff to do, like chase our tail or roll in the mud. I'm way too old for that, but maybe she's grown up now too.
We can go for a run as soon as I learn to link, I tell her, rubbing my forehead. I'm not sure it's a good idea, but as long as she doesn't try to take over, it seems safe enough.
I know I'm running out of mental energy so I stop focusing on my wolf and turn my attention to Logan. He's sitting in front of my cross legged, eyes closed. My heart warms at how hard he's trying, and I feel my wolf come to attention.
Before I can try to link with Logan, I feel an uncontrollable urge to throw myself into his arms. I become aware of my wolf, begging for me to edge closer to him and press my body against his. She doesn't say it with words, but I can feel the pull of desire. It's like nothing I've ever felt before, almost unnatural in its urgency.
Mate, my wolf cries, and for a second I think she's informing me that Logan's actually my mate. My heart leaps, and I feel an instant of joy. He's the one! We're meant to be together!
That's when the mental images start to follow, telling a completely different story. My wolf wants me to jump on Logan and rip his clothes off. She wants me on top of him, beneath him, on my knees and no! I shake my head to try and make the images stop. Mate, she cries again, this time the word sounding like the order she meant for it to be. She doesn't think Logan is my mate. She wants me to mate with him... to get him naked and to copulate with him like the animal she is.
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Okay, so did anyone expect that?
Thoughts?
Feelings?
And dare I ask... what do you want to happen next?
I'll stop now. But... serious moment... okay, not really serious, but I have a question:
What's your favourite Wattpad werewolf story? Except mine, obvi. Just kidding! I'm looking for more cool stuff to read, so if you have a favourite, I really, really want to hear about it... and read it... and OMG I'm in werewolf withdrawal right now...