Guess what?!?!?! I've got another chapter for you! *let's have a Mr. Hanks drum roll please*
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Logan
Saffron gasps when I close the door behind us, shutting out the light. I know she prefers I call her Sofie but it doesn't really suit her. To me, she'll always be Saffron. Not that I'm going to tell her that. Bad enough I criticized her clothes. No way am I criticizing her name, too.
"What are we doing?" she asks hesitantly.
Since we're in a janitor's closet, the answer should be obvious. I pull her into my arms and cover her lips with mine. All I want is to touch her, to be close to her, to be with my Saffron.
Mate, my wolf sighs over the link, but Saffron and her wolf don't respond. A part of me is actually starting to think she can't hear us, but that's impossible. All wolves can link. It's just something we're born with.
The more likely explanation is that Saffron and her wolf are mad at me for not telling my pack she's my mate. Maybe she expected me to do it at breakfast, or on the drive to school, and I disappointed her.
I get why she's mad, too. I don't want her to think I'm ashamed of her, and if I could have told them, I would have. I even spent half the night last night wracking my brain, trying to come up with a better plan than Father's; a way to be with Saffron without jeopardizing my position as pack Alpha. At least I did when I wasn't mentally reliving every moment of our hot make out session. It's a wonder I got any sleep at all.
I pull my mate closer. Her fingers press lightly against my chest, neither encouraging me nor pushing me away. Her kisses are sweet, tentative, like she's not sure what to do after everything we shared last night. Last night, when I could feel her body beneath mine and the bathroom was filled with her breathless moans as I kissed her.
Saffron wraps her arms around my neck and I put all my frustration into the kiss. I want to make her moan again, to hear her say my name. I want her to tell me she's mine. That she belongs to me. She's my mate and I have loved her from the moment our eyes met. If I can't say those words out loud, then I can show her, and maybe her wolf will forgive me.
A part of me knows I shouldn't be taking things this far. Father was right when he said my mate needed time to learn to stand up for herself. I mean, Saffron nearly broke down in class and she's terrified of getting in trouble with Mr. Hanks... who is a complete pushover and, to top it off, human! That's unacceptable for any wolf, but especially for a Luna.
After all the thinking I did last night, I came to a realization. Saffron may have trouble controlling the Omega part of her, but that doesn't mean that she can't do it—that she can't change. The Moon Goddess wouldn't have picked her for me—made her an Alpha's mate—if she didn't have the potential to one day become a Luna. Maybe I can even help speed the process along.
That's why I have to stick to Father's plan. For the most part, anyway. There's no reason I can't secretly hook up with my mate while I'm at it. So long as Saffron thinks she's on her own the rest of the time.
I wish I didn't have to put her through that. It's not her fault she's like this. Her asshole of a father did this to her and he's the one who should pay. Not my Saffron. Never my Saffron!
I push all thoughts of the man aside and kiss my mate with everything I am. I slide my hands around her waist and then grab her ass, pulling her against me. I love how wonderful Saffron feels in my arms and I never want the feeling to end.
Except that a second later, Saffron pushes me away and moves backwards until she's as far from me as she can get in the small closet. It takes all the strength I have not to follow her and pull her back into my arms, where she belongs.
"W-what are you doing?" she asks, her voice trembling.
"I thought it was obvious," I reply in frustration. I'm doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing. I mean, is it really so weird for me to want to kiss my mate? Sure, with another girl, I might worry about moving too fast, but it's different with Saffron. We belong together. I know it. She knows it. So this is exactly what we're supposed to be doing.
I hate how things have turned out. If Saffron didn't grow up with her abusive father—if she had been born into our pack—it would be so different. I would have come down the stairs on my birthday and made eye contact with all the girls in the room until I finally spotted her. My Saffron.
Her eyes would have widened, just as they did in Father's office yesterday, when she realize she was my mate. Saffron would have taken a few steps towards me, but this time Father wouldn't have stopped us. I would have covered the rest of the distance and wrapped my arms around her. Then the pack would have cheered and Father would have declared her the next Luna. Our parents and friends would have taken us to our new house, where we would spend days wrapped in each other's arms.
We'd have been allowed to skip school and Saffron's friends, maybe Zara and Jess, would have packed up her stuff and brought it over, while Jasper and a few of the guys would have done the same for me. Someone would have brought dinner and left it in the kitchen, so my mate and I wouldn't have to leave the house. Then, when we'd had a week to get our fill of each other, we would have joined everyone at breakfast to celebrate.
We'd hold hands, comfortable in each other's presence, happy and in love. For the first few weeks, we'd keep coming back to the pack house for meals, and after that... I pause, mid-thought, and realize that my daydream is based on how life has been for everyone else in my pack. Because I'm Alpha, Saffron and I are supposed to move to one of the suites on the fourth floor, next to my parents. We're expected to supervise meals and slowly take over the duties of Alpha and Luna.
It's just not fair that we have to wait and sneak around like this. Why should I have to fight my desire to be with my own mate? And why did the Moon Goddess let Saffron become an Omega, instead of the Luna she should have been?
I feel awful for Saffron. She missed out on as much as I have, but has suffered so much more. While I was growing up as the future Alpha of a strong pack, she was out there alone with some piece-of-shit father. How many times has she suffered and I wasn't there to save her?
"Do you do this a lot?" Saffron demands. My eyes have adjusted enough to see her gesture around the janitor's closet, but it still takes me a moment to understand what she's talking about.
I'm not about to tell her that I've brought my ex here. Jess never made me feel even one tenth of what I feel for my Saffron though. Being with her was fun, nothing more. Back then, Jess was happy, always laughing, not depressed the way she is now. Still, when we made out, I was always distracted, wondering how it would feel doing those same things with my mate. Now that I know, I can't imagine ever being with any girl other than Saffron.
I hope Jess finds the same happiness I have. I remember how sure she was she'd be the next Luna, and how devastated she was when that didn't happen. Now, her chances of being an Alpha's mate are slim. Not impossible, but still kind of unlikely, unless an unmated Alpha just happens to wander through town.
Maybe Jess will end up being a Beta's mate though. It's Jasper's birthday tomorrow, so they might end up together. Then maybe she'll stop walking around like a pup who lost her favorite chew-toy. I know she'd make a great Beta and a wonderful mate for Jasper. She's friendly, outgoing, and confident—or at least she used to be, before my birthday.
Sure, Jasper's been hooking up with Zara, but that's his own fault. I told him to lay off it weeks ago. Whoever Jasper's mate is, she won't like knowing he slept with another girl just days before they mated. If that mate ends up being Jess, it could get really awkward. Jess and Zara are best friends! Jasper may not spare Zara another thought once he's mated, but that doesn't mean his mate won't get jealous and Zara won't be hurt. Seriously, I don't care how great the sex is, Jasper should have broken things off and just waited for his mate.
Tomorrow, he'll see what being with her feels like. That urge to please her, to make her happy, to be close to her no matter what. Then, he'll remember hooking up with Zara and wonder what he was thinking!
"Come here," I tell my mate, wanting to feel her in my arms again. When she doesn't budge, I move towards her instead.
"Logan, no." She moves back, as if she thinks I would hurt her. I want to comfort her and tell her everything is going to be okay, that she doesn't have to be afraid anymore, but I don't. I need her to start acting like a Luna so we can be together. I need to find a way to make my mate stronger, no matter what it takes. I need her to stand up for herself. Instead of waiting for an opportunity to present itself, I need to make one.
"I said, come here," I repeat forcefully, trying to make my voice sound frightening and commanding, like my father's.
"Logan?" my mate's eyes widen. She tries to step away from me, but ends up with her back pressed against the wall. With a gasp, she starts looking around. She glances from the buckets, brooms and cleaning supplies on the floor to the door behind me. I watch her body tense, and I know that instinct is telling her to run.
"Saffron," I growl her name like a warning and realize my mistake in not calling her Sofie, the way she prefers. I think about correcting myself, but I'm trying to act tough here, so I raise an eyebrow instead.
"What? What's wrong?" my mate asks softly.
I growl, the way I would if one of the guys from the pack challenged me or took something that was mine.
"I'm sorry," Saffron whispers, her eyes brimming with tears.
"Don't apologize," I growl in frustration. I feel horrible for scaring her, and I almost melt at her hurt expression, but I force myself to look angrier. No matter what, I can't reward her Omega behavior. I need to give her a safe place where she can be brave. All she has to do is show the slightest bit of confidence, and she'll see that she doesn't have to be afraid anymore.
"Saffron," I growl, emphasizing every word, "come... here... now!"