[above meme is once again by -AGH4ST- ! Love them/p, also I got cover art from inkphobic ! So new cover Pog! And also fanart from Lazzys_here ! Triple threat!]
[TW! Mention of past sexual assault/rape, Flashbacks?, slight nsfw, consensual sex. I will personally put a warning before the NSFW scene starts, it isn't straight smut, but it'a questionable, and makes it obvious what's gonna happen.]
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"Help isn't something I'd ever ask for on my own volition. And yet, it always seems to find me."
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I heard Techno practically throw open the door ahead of me, I had been walking slower and he was in such a state I don't think he cared to wait up. I heard Phil next, voice above the noise of Tech's anger driven motions. The God was practically stomping around, not responding to Phil asking if he was okay. When I arrived at the front door I could see him already going up the ladder to his bedroom. His armor and mask were thrown on the ground along with his sword. "Where's Tommy?"
Techno scoffed before deciding to answer. "Tommy's gone, Tommy's not comin' back."
"Is he alive?" Phil asked cautiously, looking at me now.
"No, no he's alive, he's just a terrible person." With that Technoblade slammed the door to his room, making a clear indication he did not in any way want to talk right now.
I sighed, running a hand through my hair and glancing around the cabin. I could feel my leg bouncing and I clenched my teeth. Tommy fucking betrayed us, he betrayed us and left us to escape by ourselves. I wanted to go train, to let off some steam, and yet I couldn't because I was already in pain from the events from today.
I walked over to the coffee table, staring at a half empty mug of hot chocolate. Tommy had left it. No matter how many fucking times any of us told him to please put his cups in the sink he wouldn't, he never did.
At some point we stopped asking.
I reached into my pocket, pulling out a totem. I slammed it into the table and cursed under my breath, picking up the mug and rushed my way to the kitchen. Phil watched silently, a blank expression on his face. I dropped the mug into the sink, Tommy still managing to be in my life even after he had left it an hour ago.
"Mate, is there any way I can help? At all?" Phil had learned long ago that he couldn't help Tech and I when we had episodes. It was only worse when we were both going through one simultaneously. Normally we could calm each other down, either take it out on the other physically in combat, or just sit in silence able to know the other was there. There was no helping us if we were both checked out. So now all Phil could do was offer to help, probably knowing full well he could do nothing.
"Just fuck off, Phil."
"You don't mean that."
"I know."
I was so frustrated and it was painful at this point. I couldn't express it, I was just bottling it up with no way to let it out, I wouldn't even know what I could do when it bubbled over. I heard Tech stomping in circles upstairs, harsh rambles and insults being shouted into the air at his chat. If I went upstairs and joined him we would both only get worse.
I screamed, a guttural and wrenching noise from a place in my body I hadn't tapped into in so long. I was so mad and frustrated and honestly any other synonym that could possibly express my pure and utter anger seeping from my body. This is what I fucking get for trusting someone, this is what I get for taking someone under my wing, this is what I get for offering a shoulder to cry on.
Phil walked to my side as the yell faded, my voice crackling out, probably damaged at this point. I could feel him unclasping my armor, letting it fall to the floor. The second my chest plate came off he began slowly rubbing circles into my back, I didn't notice until now that I did that with Ranboo and Toms- Tommy, probably something I picked up from Phil. "Better you let it out now than later, mate. Scream all you want, we're in the Arctic after all." He had a kind smile that for some reason managed to piss me off, why? I have no goddamn clue.
My leggings were unclasped next, and he took my scythe out of my hand, picking up the heavy armor from the ground. I watched him lean the weapon against a wall, putting the armor in a now slowly growing pile Tech had created. I let out a slow breath, I felt lightheaded.
Apparently Phil was able to tell, because he almost immediately led me over to the couch, sitting me down with a concerned expression. "I'm sorry."
I raised an eyebrow, I never understood why people would apologize for things they haven't done.
"You didn't do anything."
"I'm sorry anyway."
I decided arguing was futile, probably would mess up the situation more anyway. Phil came back over to the couch this time with a cup in his hand, he handed me the cup of water and I gave him a small smile. He was trying, and I guess that helped a little bit. "Well, I'm going to get started on the dinner- if you or Techno decide you are able to join us, just tell me, mate."
I nodded, taking a few sips of water to show I was at least trying. I wasn't even thirsty, and honestly had completely lost my appetite.
I heard the front door open, almost immediately followed by familiar hands wrapping around me from behind. Brown hair brushed against my cheek, I blindly placed down the water cup on the coffee table. "Can I help you somehow, darling?"
I laughed a bit, of course the first thing they ask is how they can help me. "Not more than you already are, amare."
"Oh stop it you two! You'll make me cry!" Phil had his hands on his hips, glaring at us from the kitchen.
"Alright, Dadza." I had a slight smile on my face as I spoke, glancing to the blond.
"Shut it!"
Eret ran a hand through my hair, I mumbled something I didn't even know. He hummed confused, asking me to repeat what I said. "Im tired."
I heard Phil turn on the oven, I glanced to see that he was making stew. It would take maybe an hour or so, I had some time for a shower or something. I felt Eret press a kiss to the side of my neck before speaking. "You can go take a quick nap, I'll grab you when dinner is done."
I sighed with a small nod, maybe if I rest for a bit I'll have the energy to fight Tech later. I can hear that his pacing had stopped upstairs, I could only assume he was asleep from exhaustion or was angrily mumbling to chat. I headed to my room, deciding I didn't have enough energy to care and find out. When I stepped into my room it was strange, it still didn't feel like my room, and yet I had spent over three months here. It was against my own volition, but being trapped by your own body isn't something you can really consent to anyway.
I sat down on the edge of my bed, reaching for the lamp I knew was on the table. It was pitch black in the room, but there was a small ring of light when I managed to turn on the lantern.
I unclasped my cloak, folding the black fabric to the best of my ability. I stood up and opened one of the drawers to my dresser, most of my clothes were back at the castle, but Eret had brought a portion of both our wardrobes out here.
I laid down in bed after the cloak was where it belonged, arms sprawled at either side of me. I just stared at the ceiling, not tired enough to sleep yet too angry to function.
It was so dark that my mind started to see things in the blackness, various designs swirling, subconsciously filling in the void. It's called pareidolia if I remember correctly, the average human reaction to fill in dark spaces. When you're left with nothing but your thoughts, you tend to pick up reading as a hobby, so there's a variety of random factoids I could probably rattle off at any given moment. Apparently one of them is pareidolia. I think at some point I had started reading about sleep and the subconscious, it was around eleven when I had developed my night terrors so I wanted to figure out what was wrong with me. Phil says it's trauma related, I say that it's bullshit.
I can tell myself all I want that I don't have trauma, Phil says that shockingly, that is a symptom of trauma. But at the same time I know that my inherent avoidance of brother figures, and my fear of ever becoming a maternal figure probably stems from something that isn't particularly healthy. And I suppose my fear, though I'd never call it one, of alcohol and cigars maybe isn't the best thing.
Maybe being pinned to the wall by a drunk dictator with his intent of raping you isn't the most positive thing to carry consciously.
"I know you and that Eret guy?.... Probably have somethin' goin' on... but he wouldn't mind, right? You'll let me have some fun, won't you princess?"
I felt my face scrunch up at the memory I couldn't stop from resurfacing, they were borderline intrusive at this point, I wish I could just fucking forget. "Go away, Schlatt."
What I hated the most is that he ruined that nickname for me, I will forever consider being called 'princess' a really damn negative thing. Any positive memory with that nickname? Absolutely thrown out the window. The few joking times Tech called me 'princess' to make fun of me? I can consider them gone and locked in a vault. The like one memory I have of my father calling me princess? That's dead and buried.
So I spoke Schlatt's name to the air, knowing that sure, he wasn't here physically. I guess mentally was enough to make my current situation that much worse.
"Schlatt?" The door creaked open, Eret was looking around the corner. Has it been that long already? Have I really been staring at the ceiling out of it for an hour? "Did you say Schlatt?"
I hummed anyway, looking back to the ceiling or wall. "Intrusive thoughts, y'know?"
I could practically hear Eret's frown. He sat on the edge of our bed, and I sat up to look at him. "You still think of him?"
I shrugged, partially looking at Eret and partially staring off into space at the wall behind him. I think that the main reason I think of that moment is because now everything he said was true. I did have something going on with Eret, it's like what he did became that more real, I can't decline it and try to scramble to make excuses that what happened wasn't bad. "It's no big deal, is dinner ready?"
Eret placed his hand on my own, rubbing his thumb in circles. "Well, I think it is a big deal."
"It's not too bad, I'm still just working through it. I'd tell you if I need help."
He placed his forehead against mine, closing his eyes and sighing. I did the same and smiled, it was calming, more than I expected. "And no, dinner isn't ready, I missed you and was hoping I could slip into bed to nap too." He pulled away and looked to the dim lantern, I had it on the lowest it could go. He turned it up, leaving most of the room illuminated. "Or, we could sit here and talk. Because I don't think you're tired, I just think you need a distraction. You're mad, and that's expected, so I want to help."
He took my other hand into his own, running his thumbs over my knuckles. "If we're going to be in a relationship, if we are going to be official, then we should share these things if you're comfortable." The conversation had turned far more intense than I expected, and yet he continued talking. "I don't expect you to tell me all of your trauma, I don't want to know all of your trauma if you aren't comfortable. Our childhoods are our childhoods, I know I can't tell you mine because I don't even remember, so how would it be fair if I expected to know yours?"
He was so understanding it hurt, I couldn't even understand why he was so kind at times. "That- that means more than you know. And you know everything important anyway."
Brown hair brushed against my skin as he lifted up my hand, pressing a kiss to my knuckles. It felt so strangely proper, probably because it was coming from a King. He put my hand back down, smiling at me. "I hope you know I don't care what you've done in the past. I love who you are now, and that's all that matters to me."
"Well, I could say the same to you."
He sighed again, glancing to a clock hanging in the mostly empty room. I suddenly had a question, a random one, but a question none the less. "What do I call you?"
"Hm?"
"Well, you said you go by all those pronoun things. So, does that mean you're my girlfriend, or my boyfriend, something else even?"
I felt like a child asking, but at the same thing I felt like it was the responsible thing to ask? I know they had a whole identity I didn't particularly understand, they've been more or less open about it.
He laughed, shaking his head. "Whatever you want, darling. If you prefer to only see me as a man, I won't mind. I get how it can be confusing if you aren't all that familiar with it." They took a moment of thought, eyebrows scrunched. "And, I get that you're straight, so that would make me your boyfriend."
"Straight?"
"Heterosexual."
I was taken aback for a moment, before laughing too. "Amare, I'm not heterosexual, I've been with women. That much I know."
He paused for a moment, the only noise being my soft laughter. "I did not know that-"
"Clearly!"
He started laughing too, falling forward into me. I fell backward so he was practically laying on top of me on the bed. "Then I'm whatever you want to call me. I don't care much for relationship titles and I don't think you do either, it's just enough to know I'm yours."
I hummed in agreement, wrapping my hands around him into a hug now that he was no longer holding them.
We laid like that for awhile, letting any festering anger bubble out of my consciousness. Eret looked up to glance at the clock again, humming. "Phil should be about ready."
"I want to stay here."
"No, get up. C'mon now."
I made a small noise of discontent when he broke the hug, sitting up and getting off of the bed. I reluctantly followed into the rest of the cabin, almost immediately missing the warmth of the room and covers. I saw Phil readying the table, but noticed Tech wasn't even in the room. Phil smiled and waved to us, I could see crows lining the windows outside the house. "Crow, could you go grab Techno for me? See if he's up to eat? You're the only one I think he'll listen to right now."
Phil had a smile on his face with his eyes slightly crinkling from the expression. He had wrinkles etched into his face from the never ending smiles for the few he adored. Nobody would guess he was a day over forty if not for the few timeless scars and features ever present. "Yeah, of course."
I left Eret and Phil to finish setting up for dinner, I was feeling a tad calmer, enough to trust myself to not get all upset during dinner. I didn't want to argue with anyone right now, not for a senseless reason spurred on by my underlying anger.
I knocked on a spruce door, waiting for an answer.
"Heh?"
I chuckled a bit, going to turn the knob. "Can I come in? Or will you stab me?"
"Depends."
I opened the door, finding a defeated looking Tech sitting on the edge of his bed. His braid was undone and crown dangling weakly in his palm. I could see his room was in disarray, I didn't even want to know what he had broken or thrown. "You up for dinner?"
I closed the door behind me with a soft click, hearing an annoying creak as I did so. I cautiously sat on the edge of the bed, feeling Tech lightly hit his forehead against my own, it wasn't nearly enough to even hurt, it was more of a greeting. Yet again something with Piglin I'd probably never understand. "You up to spar? Until one of us passes out?" He laughed a bit after he finished, sighing at his own words.
"I wish I was, believe me."
"Dream's been messagin' me." I raised an eyebrow, looking to the God. "Says he really meant tomorrow, around three. Somethin' about TNT machines, wants me to bring all our Withers. You up for that?"
I leaned my head against his shoulder, feeling his arm wrap around my back to cradle me close under his cape. He then rested his head against my own, I appreciated the warmth immensely. "Don't see why not. Your totem is on the coffee table downstairs by the way." I moved closer so we were pressed against each other. "Another battle to add to our history books."
"Another victory."
I laughed at that, blindly reaching for his hand and squeezing, he lightly squeezed back and I heard him let out a breathy chuckle. "When have we ever lost?"
"Never, and never will. I hope you know this time around you aren't my Grim Reaper, you're just, the Grim Reaper."
"The Grim Reaper who would gladly die at her best friends side."
"Don't even say that."
"It's true."
I broke the hold, standing up and holding out a hand to the disheveled man. He reluctantly looked to my palm before huffing, taking the offer and standing up with little resistance. He let go of me to take off his cape for a moment, unlatching the item and laying it on his bed. I noticed he hadn't even taken off his boots yet. He easily slipped them off, leaving them at the bedroom door.
Finally he picked up his crown from where he had laid it on the bed during our conversation, placing it on his head. He was left in his white button-up and black slacks.
Finally he crossed his arms, following me out of the room with little expression on his face. Either he was masking the fact he was seething very well, or wrecking his room had taken out what he needed. "Mate!" Phil waved when he saw us both, Eret was already sitting down with the Angel. It seems they had both begun eating without us. "Good to see you two doing well."
Tech let out a soft snort, pulling out a chair next to Phil and sitting down. I sat down next to Eret, not wasting a second to start eating. I always liked Phil's cooking, he had taken over it long ago back in the Arctic.
The Arctic.
I guess we are kind of in an Arctic right now, it's not my Arctic though. "You guys think our castle is doing alright?" It was a sudden question, but nobody was talking and I figured I'd start a conversation before Techno broke something. I could hear his foot already frantically tapping under the table. "Sometimes I miss it."
Phil hummed in thought, tapping a finger against the table. "We left it in perfect condition. The Arctic Empire was given to a few trusted knights, we weren't really rulers per-se cause of the whole anarchy thing, people just looked up to us." Phil leaned back in his chair. "I can only hope those knights are doing what we did, we could probably check up on them to see if they are running it well. The whole empire was honestly fantastic colony-wise. Steady food source, business, families, it's honestly shocking how well-off it was before we left."
Tech nodded taking a bite of food before biting the inside of his cheek. "So you guys had a whole empire?" Eret adjusted his glasses after he spoke, seeing everyone was looking at him now.
I nodded, "The Arctic Empire, I still have that stupid blue uniform with the crest and everything. It's in my enderchest." I gestured to the chest in the corner as I spoke, seeing Tech roll his eyes.
"Excuse you, that crest was fantastic." He retorted, probably glad he could focus on the conversation.
"Blue is not my color, you know this. I do not do cool-tones."
"There was yellow!"
Phil and Eret watched as we settled into a back and forth stream of bickering.
Even if we were just distracting each other from the loss, from the betrayal, it was something to help take our minds off of the blond. We couldn't dodge it forever, but we could for now, and that's all we both wanted.
I saw a bowl of stew on the counter, I looked at it for a moment before glancing to Phil. He was in a steady conversation with Eret about something I couldn't hear, Technoblade had just shot a playful insult at me to see I had stopped retorting. "Phil? Why'd you make extra food? You never do."
The Angel froze for a moment, glancing back at the extra stew. "I made it in case Tommy came back-"
"Don't bring him up." Technoblade snapped back immediately, cutting off the older. Phil looked momentarily taken aback. "Just don't."
We were all only half done with our food, and yet the topic we all feared had been brought up. "Tech-"
"Don't fuckin'-"
"Tech!"
He looked to me, and I hated the way his face was contorted in anger, the way he was glaring at me. "I'm just as upset, but you can't do this inside. We both need a breather, okay?" I pursed my lips and watched as Phil stood up, placing a hand on Techno's shoulder. "I'm going to head to my room again, I don't want to get upset with anyone."
Phil nodded with a supportive smile, and looked down to the angered hybrid. "Tech and I will go get some wood for the new cabins, I still have to finish them off so I need more spruce."
"Phil, I really don't want to-"
"You can take your anger out by cutting down some spruce trees with me."
I was already walking to my room, trying to control my breathing. Of course I couldn't fucking blame Phil for making Tommy food, sure it was expected, what if the kid did show up? But that didn't change the fact it reminded me and Techno, and quite frankly two pissed off murderers with undiagnosed anger-issues aren't two people you want in the same house.
I heard the front door slam after I had closed my own.
Sometimes I regret ever becoming close with Tommy, letting myself hold him close at night after arguments with Wilbur. Or allowing him to convince me to stay up late at night so we could go to a cliff far out in the forest. I had found it and taken him there one night, and ever since he had wanted to go there during the Pogtopia days.
I wonder if he was there right now, I doubt it since he always needed my help to find it again.
Part of me always believed he knew the way, but lied and said he needed help so he could hold my hand.
I ran a hand through my hair, exhaling through my teeth.
Whispers began swirling in my mind, they sounded like they were here, in front of me even. Or behind me? They were surrounding me, suffocating even. The voices have never sounded like this, and I was completely certain they had left at this point.
It made no sense for them to resurface now, and yet here were these whispers I couldn't even understand. They were the same as yesterday.
Tommy fucking left me, I gave him my trust, my care, and he stabbed me in the back. He practically used the same dagger I gave him to dig into my skin. I could hear the whispers pick up to where I couldn't hear anything else, my arms started burning.
The door opened, the whispers dissipated as they did yesterday. The second Eret entered the room it's like they scattered to the far corners of my mind.
The burning didn't go away.
A voice was speaking but I couldn't understand it, he placed a hand on my shoulder and before I knew it he was in front of me. I felt him rolling up my sleeve, and out of curiosity I looked.
The void was spreading.
I started panicking, probably hyperventilating, it only started swirling faster. It was going past my shoulder now, dotted and light colors spreading into a darker more ominous shade. "Torva, Torva tell me what you're upset about, okay? Scream, yell, use me as an outlet, whatever." Eret grabbed my chin and made me look him in the eyes, his glasses were already off and resting in his palm. "I'm Tommy right now."
"I don't want to yell at you-"
"You aren't screaming at Eret, you're screaming at Tommy."
I couldn't, I opened my mouth to but I couldn't. I could feel it going across my collar bones and I couldn't. I didn't see Tommy, I fucking saw Eret, this man I was stupid enough to love.
I didn't know what to do, my panic was only growing, the pain in my right arm specifically was becoming unbearable.
I turned around, he dropped his hand to his side.
The first thing I saw was the wall, spruce wood and masterfully built.
I threw a punch, lurching my whole body into it, my fist collided with a wall and made a horrid splintering noise. I think I screamed when I did it, I didn't intend to punch a hole through the wall, but it happened. It didn't go through the entire wall, but enough to where it was almost through to the hallway outside. "Well." I took a deep breath, exhaling through my nose. I didn't feel the burning anymore, and I think I stopped it before it spread to my neck. "That solves that."
Eret was behind me now. "Far more violent than preferred."
"I couldn't yell at you, you didn't do anything."
Eret sighed, his forehead pressing against the back of my neck. He had his arms wrapped around me from behind. "Well, at least you didn't entirely break through the wall." I felt him press a kiss to my neck, I glanced at my hand and saw my knuckles were slightly bleeding, a few drops of the sanguine liquid dripping down my palm. "I hope you know that feeling angry is okay right now, it's important you know it's a valid feeling."
I just nodded, still staring at the damage to the wall. "He betrayed me, he went back to Tubbo and he betrayed me." I could see it beginning to snow outside through a small window on a separate wall. I wonder if they'd continue cutting down trees in this weather. "And I hate that I'm still worried about how he's doing."
[Warning]
He pressed another open mouthed kiss to my neck, and I placed my hand on the one resting on my hip. "Could I distract you?"
"Hm?"
"Nobody but us are home, you need a distraction, and I can finally have you. I think you know what I meant."
Okay so maybe I did know what he meant, but I wanted confirmation. And just perhaps I am just a bit nervous for probably absolutely nothing. Though I suppose, my silence was concerning.
Eret loosened his hold on my hips just a bit, now rubbing steady circles into the fabric with his thumbs. "Look, please don't feel pressured." His voice was dropped to that lower octave, and his breath was brushing against the shell of my ear.
I turned around, he completely lost his grip on my hips.
I reached up, tangling a hand in brown hair and placing my other on his shoulder. I pulled him forward, pressing our lips together. His hand found my hips again, pressing against me until my back was against the wall. He was crowding me against the wall, his frame larger and continuing to press against mine. I was pinned, I know I could have theoretically pushed him away, so being pinned wasn't exactly correct, but I allowed it. This time.
I let him hold me against the surface, move one of his arms so it was over my head, effectively caging me against them. Kind of strange I'm being held against the wall I just punched a hole into, but I suppose there's multiple ways to let out anger.
He chuckled against my mouth, pulling away just enough so he could properly speak. "While that was really attractive, I need verbal consent now, darling."
I rolled my eyes, he was smiling down at me. "Yes, sic, oli, what language do you need it in?" I rattled off the word yes in three languages. He sighed in response, shaking his head and letting out another laugh. "Or do you need me to tell you to pin me to the bed already? Because frankly I think that would be a good motivati-"
I couldn't finish my thought, I didn't mind because he was kissing my breath away again. I don't think I'd ever get used to it, and I don't think I wanted to get used to it.
I think any line that ever existed to show the cross between friendship and romance with us had become so smudged over at this point it was unnoticeable. I don't know if there was one to begin with, my mind was buzzing with static and want, plus everything was so warm and inviting.
I don't think I ever wanted it to stop. His lips against my skin as he slowly nipped and made light marks against my neck. I had never thought of myself as breakable, yet with the way his hands were kindly running against me and how soft he was treating me, I'd let him take care of me if I was.
It wasn't anything but welcomed when he slowly moved us over to the bed, reaching to the door on the way to turn the lock on the doorknob. Probably just in case Phil and Tech get home sooner than expected. It was almost comical for me to fall against the bed when my legs hit the mattress, making me stumble so he was practically already over me.
I slung my arms so they were around his neck, and I suppose for the first time I was under someone. He cautiously trailed his hand to my shirt, untucking it and sliding his hand under the fabric. He was treating everything far more carefully than a childish make-out session. Every brush of skin against skin managed to tingle and burn.
A hand brushes over my cheek, the other remaining at my waist. I looked to Eret and he tilted my chin up so our lips slid together that much better. I can feel his legs on either side of mine, our bodies practically pressed together again. He was treating this moment like time wasn't a factor, like nothing existed but us. This whole experience was so much and yet not enough.
I can feel a rumble of a laugh against my lips, I laughed a bit too, I could feel him smiling. He pulled away far too soon, even though I could feel that I was growing dizzy from the lack of oxygen from how long it had lasted. In an attempt to connect us again I tugged on his hair and made his lips press against mine once more, attributing to the already growing sting. He gasped which was immediately muffled.
He pulled away shortly again, and even though our bodies were fitting together like puzzle pieces, the small distance he had created was far too much for my comfort. I despised the way I wanted even more.
I felt like a mess.
❧
Okay, so maybe Eret was being greedy. He knew that now, and no fucking shot would he ever deny it. He was already slipping off her shirt, acknowledging now there was a bit of void touching her ribs and now covering her shoulders. He found it gorgeous.
He began haphazardly undoing the buttons to his shirt, to say he was impatient was an understatement.
The fucking Grim Reaper was sprawled under him at this point, acting delicate and letting him just take this opportunity to it's entirety. No chance would he turn this down, after about a year or maybe more of pining? Yeah he'll definitely enjoy whatever is about to happen.
Did he expect her to be overly dominant? Yes. Was she acting the opposite right now? Also yes. Was he going to complain? Hell no.
The second he got his shirt off and dropped the fabric, deciding not to care where it ended up, he leaned back down and kissed her all over again. He was rewarded with a small noise of surprise from her, muffled.
He decided to look back down at her, breaking the kiss to see she already looked somewhat disheveled. The lack of her shirt probably wasn't helping her case all that much though. He doesn't know how she managed it, but her grey eyes somehow looked clouded over. Additionally, her face was flushed for probably the first time he's ever seen.
A hand dug into his hair again, the other still on the back of his neck. He had learned to just deal with how cold her hands were long ago. Nails lightly scratched against his scalp, resulting in pins and needles down his spine.
He pressed a small kiss to her shoulder, feeling a small tug to his hair, probably accidental, but enough to make a small groan escape his lips unwillingly. He could barely think, let alone remember to breathe from the situation itself.
A few breaths of warm air mingle between them before he softly bites against her shoulder. He decides to not break skin, but puts enough pressure to get a reaction. He wanted to remember the sighs and whines for as long as he could, preferably imprinted into his mind. "Eret- fuck, just-"
He smiled, leaving searing kisses along her body and looking back down to the woman under him. "What do you want? Words please."
He heard her scoff, but it was wavering and showing that no, she wasn't actually annoyed. He doubts she could put a thought together, she was already breathing heavily, he knows he was already tugging at the hemline of her cargo pants. "Just, please-"
It's almost sinful, horrid that she can go from a feared creature, someone whispered about as a mere rumor. Someone who strikes fear, someone who takes down nations. To a innocent and flustered woman who can quite frankly barely put together a sentence for him.
"Oh come on, you can speak now, can't you?" He knows he was just teasing her at this point. Of course he knew what she wanted, hell he wanted it too. It almost felt wrong to make her squirm under him, look away to the wall. "Can't you just tell me what you want?"
He moved his arms so they were bent and on either side of her head, he was face to face with Torva, who was attempting to not make eye contact with the King. "I think you can beg, I think you really could."
He brought one of his arms from the side of her head and let it travel down her waist. As much as she can lie, she can't cover up the fact she leaned into the touch.
He was tugging her pants off of her now, and she complied easily. He threw the article with the others, deciding he'd deal with the task of finding them in the room again later. "Now, tell me what you want. Speak up."
"Hate you." She muttered back, yet pulling him closer as she spoke. He laughed at that, pressing a quick kiss to her temple.
"Come on darling, use your words for me."