[ -AGH4ST- once again gifted us with a meme! I literally love these and they make me laugh so make me more rn /j]
[AN: this is your like bi-monthly reminder I have a oneshot book, I'll probably be posting a bit more there so, idk, if you want more content go ahead.]
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"If you're going to kill me, do it when my back is turned."
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When Philza caught sight of the man in the doorway, he gestured for him to step forward. Eret debated just bolting out the door, maybe locking himself in a bedroom; various, ideas scattered in his mind, actually. None of them panned out much to his dismay.
Because Torva realized Phil had pulled from the hug, so Eret watched as she turned around to look at what Phil was watching. Eret didn't exactly know what to say, just made awkward eye contact and pretended like he didn't hear their entire conversation. "You aren't a bad person, Tor. You won't ruin me, and you aren't too bad a person for me." Eret winced at his own words, and just hoped she'd say something.
Anything.
Phil slowly stood up; Eret saw her reach for the Angel again only for him to deny her a hug once more. "You two need to work this out."
"We aren't children, Phil." Torva crossed her arms, weakly trying to stand up only to stumble. Phil had to grab her wrist to steady her still weak frame.
"Well, you two are acting like two children sick with puppy-love. So fix it and act like fuckin' adults." Phil threw his hands in the air, wings flaring before once again tucking behind his back. The two adults watched as the God left the cabin, mumbling something about the floor plan of a bedroom. The new cabins were taking over his mind lately.
Eret dared to look away from where Phil had left, to his surprise, he saw Torva already looking at him, eyes flickering between his face and the wall behind him. Eret knows how Torva works, he knows how the world seems to always hold a title of ruthless over her head, and yet she can get scared at the most common things.
Where she was meant to have knowledge on something as simple as happiness or physical affection, probably resided some knowledge on the swiftest way to kill with an axe. But he was alright with that, and it took a bit to get out of the mindset of having to 'fix' her. He realized long ago that was damaging.
His first thoughts when he fell for her was that he was willing to fix her, somehow get her better as if she was sick. But, that's wrong. There's nothing to fix, besides maybe some bad coping mechanisms. You can't tell someone with empathy issues to 'rethink your morality,' because it has nothing to do with that. That's just how she is, and he loves how she is, so there's nothing present to work on.
He doesn't want to fix how she has issues with expressing her love, or how she doesn't flinch in battle. He has no want to help her with her more violent tendencies or the way she can't ever seem to feel empathy for another. He just wants to help make her happier, and that isn't fixing anything, it's improving what's already there. "How much did you overhear?" The question was a valid one, Eret had no issues answering.
"All of it."
"I'm sorry."
Eret didn't really know what she was apologizing for. For talking to someone she trusted about her emotional state? He returned the coat in his hands to the coat rack, no longer intending to go for a walk anytime soon. The Monarch walked forward, cautiously reaching for her hands. He held her hands in his own, smiling kindly at the shorter. She didn't take more than a second to gladly hold his hands in return.
He rubbed his thumb in circles on her skin, the silence in the cabin comfortable for once. "You ready to talk about it?"
She sighed, letting her head fall forward to rest on his shoulder. "Yeah, I think I just might be."
Eret let go of one of her hands, lifting his arm to run a steady hand through her hair. It had grown longer in her time fallen in a coma, her bangs had grown long enough to be swept to the sides. Each time she glances in the mirror he can see her frown and fix her hair, so he made a mental note to offer to cut it later. "Torva, I think I want to say first that I love you, I think it was a more gradual thing, it wasn't a sudden 'I'm in love with this woman' it was just a steady realization. Though, I do have to say that when we were on the castle that one night; we were both exhausted after the first war, I think that's when I stopped fighting it." Her free hand had traveled up so it was looped behind his neck, keeping him pulled close. "We've both been told time and time again in every piece of literature with your name, and the Gods know there's plenty of those, that you can't love. That we can't happen."
Eret pulled away from the close hug just enough so they were slightly separated. It was just far enough so he could look her in the eyes, and he then let go of her other hand to lightly tilt up her chin.
"How would you care to break the history books with me, love?"
❧
Of course I knew what I wanted to say in response. Of course I wanted to try a relationship, try to make him happy.
I couldn't deny a part of me was scared, terrified actually of the way I wanted someone in this way. Quite frankly petrified of the tendency to like how we were so close that when he spoke I could just barely feel his lips brush against mine. It was almost tempting to not answer him verbally, instead just crash my own lips into his.
I don't think he'd take that as an answer though.
I almost didn't trust my voice to speak actually. "I love you in a way I can't explain, I don't know if I'll ever be able to. When I'm around you, I feel fucking stupid." I laughed a bit, Eret snickered a bit too and from that I could feel his breath hit my face. It made my heart rate pick up, I was almost certain we were so close he could hear it beating frantically. "It's not a bad stupid, I just can't think, it's kind of freeing to be away from my own thoughts sometimes though. A part of me hates it, and I guess that's why I never want to talk about these things to you. I don't like being vulnerable, but I keep wanting to give everything to you anyway." I leaned into the hand resting on the back of my head, it was formerly threading through my hair. "You can't be betrayed by someone who's an enemy, Eret." I lifted a hand and took off his glasses, he didn't dare stop me, I let them rest in my palm. "You're the most dangerous person I think I'll ever meet."
I stared into the whited out eyes for maybe a moment too long. "I love you as much as I can, and I don't think that's anywhere near enough. I know you deserve more, but I'll gladly give you what I can. I suppose if I come out of loving you with a knife in my back, I'll cherish it until it rusts." He was unbearably close now, so close I almost couldn't see him smile. My throat hurt from speaking so much, it was an afterthought though at this point. "Just kiss me already, amare."
That was all it took.
A poorly constructed confession I had imagined saying far too often, and a pet name in Latin I let slip out from my lips. I don't think he cared that he didn't know what I even called him, for all he knew it could probably be an insult.
Maybe I'd call him amare more often.
❧
They say that when humanity was first created humans had four legs, four arms, two heads, and two faces.
It was said that men were children of the sun, women children of the earth, and androgynous peoples children of the moon.
Humans were powerful like this, strong enough to conquer the Gods. The Olympians feared them and what they could become, they planned to kill them with lightning as they did the Titans during the war in which they conquered Cronus. The issue being, if they did this there would no longer be people to worship the Gods. The tributes these powerful beings made would be destroyed, and the Olympians would have no followers.
Zeus had a creative solution.
Zeus split the humans in half, this way there would be more people to worship them, and their power would cease.
So humans were left to wander the world they formerly created as one, forever in misery to search for their other half. Their soulmate would be without them, and they would be not as nearly as powerful as they could grow to become. So when these people do meet, a sense of unity would fall upon them, a spark underlying from possible lifetimes of searching.
In the present moment it seems that time had halted, just for them. Allowed the world to stop turning for one singular instance. Giving time for souls to join once more, or perhaps souls wouldn't be the right term. A soul that had been ripped in half centuries ago. The two would never know this occurred, and would never be able to pinpoint if they had met before. Maybe lifetimes and lifetimes spent together would be indefinitely forgotten, perhaps they would meet only to walk across the street, forever left with a memory that strangely stuck with them, of a stranger that they can't seem to forget. Or perhaps they would grow old together in another life, only for Death to rip them apart once more.
Mortals weren't made to last, after all.
Maybe this time around the Gods could cut them a break. Maybe, just maybe, they could stick around like the Gods intended. Like they intended.
Or maybe this is all incorrect, and their paths crossed at the right time with the wrong person. Who knows for sure if someone is your soulmate? And not just a product of a sudden craving for affection? They could very well have a few year long fling only to separate and move onto the next, to find their actual soulmate.
Soulmates were strange in that way.
In the way you'll never truly know you're soulmates, or if soulmates even exist.
Maybe this is all bullshit.
Or maybe you'll just never know until a God tells you so.
❧
When we pulled apart I could feel that now familiar sting on my lips, Eret had a dorky smile now that I couldn't help but kiss again. I wrapped both my arms around the back of his neck, one of his continued to cradle the back of my head with the other around my waist.
His thumb slipped under my shirt, I had just been wearing solid color shirts and various kinds of sweatpants lately, maybe a lightweight jacket. I hadn't had the mental capacity to care to put on anything else.
Though I was easily snapped away from everything I could have possibly been thinking because Eret slightly nipped at my bottom lip. I then thought in that moment that this was a far better method of getting any information than anybody has even attempted on me. I mean fuck breaking bones or waterboarding at this point, I would probably tell this man anything for this to continue happening.
Isn't that what a romantic relationship pertained anyway?
Yeah this was definitely a solid decision in my book.
When he pulled away to start kissing down my neck, it was different than any moment before. I think it was because it actually meant something to me. It wasn't an act of lust or some random pent up emotion. It wasn't when Tech and I were still pumped up with adrenaline after a battle, it wasn't Eret and I having a moment because we had almost died that day, and needed to express our bottled up emotions somehow.
It was just, us.
That was it.
And that was all it needed to be.
I laughed for a moment and placed a hand in his hair. "I don't know if you remember, amare, but we are in the living room."
He pulled away from my neck with a sigh, having formerly been attacking the skin with small kisses. "Amare?" He raised an eyebrow at the name, a soft smile still on his face.
"It means love, it's Latin."
"Of course it is."
"Are you complaining?"
He leaned down once more, pressing a quick kiss to my lips, I shuddered a bit in response. He spoke against skin, words so simple yet they felt like fire just because they were spoken by them. "I adore it."
I heard steady footsteps coming up wooden stairs, two sets actually, so I pulled away completely and reached into my jacket pocket. "Tor?"
I smiled and handed him his glasses, he put them on curiously.
The door opened.
Eret now had a look of understanding on his face, and in moments like these I became even more grateful for my heightened hearing. "Big M! You're out of bed." Tommy laughed and ran forward, Technoblade watched from the doorway, placing his cape on the coatrack. The teen slammed himself into me, and I almost fell from the weight.
"Watch it!" Eret ran forward on instinct placing his arms around me so I wouldn't completely fall over, having to steady both of us. The brunet looked panicked before he knew Tommy wasn't going to topple me into the floor.
"I'm not well enough for that just yet, Toms." I laughed a bit, underlying tones of sadness present I hoped nobody picked up on. Tommy didn't break the hug anyway.
"I got to see Tubbo! And we got some of the Blade's weapons back! Oh! Oh and we basically kidnapped this new guy in exchange for them! His name is Connor! I got to commit minor terrorism! And- and-" Tommy was rambling his heart out, I just looked down at the blond and nodded every once in awhile. If I'm being honest, I could barely keep up with everything he was saying.
I didn't care much that my moment with Eret was interrupted, I was too overjoyed to care for a single moment.
Techno walked over, helping me pry the overactive blond from my arms. He replaced the teen immediately, hugging me tightly for a moment before breaking away. "Glad to see you out of bed, nerd. We'll start trainin' again soon, just like old times."
I looked to see Tommy was still smiling, though now he was in the kitchen area, grabbing a glass of water. Eret just watched, seemingly amused. "I want you to join Tommy and I when this whole Festival thing goes down in L'Manburg, we have a week or two."
Eret perked up at this, smile still evident on his face. "Ah! I actually have to go talk to Tubbo about that tomorrow. I think I'll be going as well, though I thought none of you were allowed in L'Manburg anyway." The King commented casually, and Techno let out a short laugh.
"You're right, so keep quiet." The pinkette jokingly brought a finger to his own lips before Eret understood what he was saying. The Monarch gulped and nodded.
"Not a word." Eret practically whispered it with a small nod. "But I won't help."
"Then all we need is for you to keep quiet." I said, Technoblade patting my shoulder as he walked past while making his way to the couch.
"I can do that."
I walked up to the brunet once more, both of the other men were on opposite ends of the room. Tommy was on his second glass of water, while Technoblade sat down on the couch with an exhausted huff. He was slipping off his boots.
Eret placed a hand on my arm, thumb rubbing up and down on the fabric. I placed a quick kiss on his cheek before walking by the couch, sitting next to Tech.
I pretended not to notice the way Eret's face became dusted with red.
It was a strange day to say the least.
But, it got stranger after night fell. It was nice actually falling asleep though, Eret had joined me in bed for the first time in apparently months according to how long I was in a coma. I could tell we both needed the contact, seeing as we both practically melted into it.
We seemed to always fall into a similar position when cuddling. Eret would insist on holding me, wrapping his arms around my waist in a way that would catch the breath in my throat. He slipped his hands under my shirt, seemingly scorching warm palms resting on my bare skin. I think his hands always seemed so warm was either because I was cold, or because of the raging snowstorm somehow always outside. Their chin was placed on top of my head, and my body practically curled up into his. Both of my arms just snaked around his torso, I liked the bursts of warmth this gave me while we were in the Arctic of all places.
The sigh he let out when we both got comfortable was heavy, I wouldn't be surprised if it was a breath he had been holding for months now. A breath he finally got to let go of. "I love you." He whispered it, the words slightly slurred in a way that showed how tired he had become. They were finished with a small yawn at the end of the sentence.
And for the first time, I got to say those words back. Maybe for the first time since I was just a child. They felt heavy and uncomfortable on my tongue, but after they left it's like the weight they carried left me.
"I love you too."