Dean X Reader Imagines

Dying (Dean X Reader)

I just got back from the hunt and I collapsed on the couch immediately. It was a long and hard one but I was able to finish it thanks to Sam's help through the phone. I was never going to guess that it was Amazons. For some reason when Sam figured it out Dean wasn't really thrilled to let me alone on this case but I convinced him.

I take my phone out of my pocket and I see three messeges from Dean.

I immediately call him but he doesn't answer. I call him again and again but nothing.

I run to my car and I drive as fast as I can there. I call Sam hoping that Dean is with him. I put my phone on speaker and put it on the passenger's seat. "Yes?" "Where is Dean?" "I'll put you on speaker" "Dean?" I ask but no one talks "Dean!" "Dean talk to her" Sam says "Hi (Y/N)" "Dean, whatever you are planning on doing, don't. I'm on my way there please wait for me" "There is no time (Y/N). I wish there was but... God is dying and someone needs to stop Amara" "God?" "Yes" "What are you about to do Dean?" I ask feeling the tears in my eyes form "I have a few million souls inside of me and it is a ticking bomb. I just need to get close to her and then... boom" "No, Dean you can't do this. You can't just die like that. It's wrong" "Saving the girl I love and the world at the same time, I say it's worth it". I wipe my tears "Just wait for me to get there, ok?" "There is no time (Y/N)" "I don't care" I say and I hang up.
9:13 PM
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I stop my car out of the bunker and I run inside. I knock the door and Cas opens. "Where is he?" I ask and he points at the library. I run there and I hug him. "I love you so much" I whisper to him "I love you too" he says and rubs my back softly. We pull away "There has to be another way--" "There is not (Y/N)". A tear escapes my eye and I hug him again.

We hear a cough from Crowley and we pull away. "(Y/N), this is Chuck or God" Dean says "Ok..." I say looking at him "Can we talk?" I ask Dean "Yes, let's go inside" he says and takes my hand. We go to his room "I won't change my mind (Y/N)" he says "I know you won't" I say and I try not to let more tears fall. But it's getting so hard to.

I cover my face with my hands and try to hide my crying face from Dean. But soon I feel his arms around me. "I'm ok, I'm fine" I say looking at him. "I'm sorry for leaving you like this" he says "I know" I say and I rub his cheek.

"I want to tell you something" I say "I'm listening" he says. I roll my left sleeve up exposing the old scars and the small tattoo that was over the ones that was on my wrists. "Remember these scars on my arms?" I ask and he nods. I know that he doesn't like to see them but I want him to know "Remember how many times you asked me about them and I said that it's nothing because they don't mean anything now? Remember this DW tattoo I got on top of them?" I continue "Yes but what's the point of this?" he asks.

"Two years before I met you I spent about a year in an abusive relationship with another hunter. I was mentally, verbally, emotionally and sexually abused. He made me feel useless and kept telling me that I would be nothing if I wasn't with him. He kept leaving me then coming back repeatedly and my brain was totally shut down to anything else but thinking that l needed him to exist. I started feeling numb. And then this pain inside me made me begin to self harm. It was a way of feeling something, anything than the blankness that was my existence. My cutting continued for years, even after that monster was out of my life. But the damage was already done and I will always have PTSD about that relationship. It is almost been 5 years since I last hurt myself. The best 5 years of my life because you came. You made me stop feeling like I was nothing even if you had no idea about my past. You made me feel wanted and loved and I'm so grateful to you for that. You saved me and made me fall for you so hard at the same time. I love you so much Dean" "I love you too (Y/N)" he says and kisses me.

"Are you going to stop interrupting me?" I ask "Yes, sorry" he says "My DW tattoo on top of the scars of my wrist is for you. I remember that you tried to talk me out of it but I wouldn't regret it even if we wouldn't be together anymore. Because I did that to remind myself of my family and that I am wanted. I used to be so ashamed of my scars but no more. For years they were a symbol of what I had suffered and now they are a sign of what I have survived. Thank you for making me realize it" I say and I kiss him.

We pull away but we keep our foreheads connected. "Thank you for telling me. Please try not to do this again, ok? You don't deserve it. You're amazing" he says "Thank you for everything" I say and one more tear rolls down my cheek. Dean wipes it off "Remember what I sang to you every night that you were not ok?" he asks. I smile and I nod.

"When you're weak, I'll be strong
When you let go, I'll hold on
When you need to cry, I swear
that I'll be there to dry your eyes
When you feel lost and scared to death,
like you can't take one more step,
just take my hand, together we can do it
I'm gonna love you through it" he sings softly to me but a knock on the door caused us to stop. "Come in" I say. The door opens and Rowena comes in "It's time" she says. "Go and save the world" I say to Dean and he nods.

We went to the library were we met with everybody else. "Ready?" Chuck asks. Dean looks at me and kisses me one more time. One last time. "I love you, don't ever forget that, ok?" he asks and I nod "Be safe and never again think that you are not good enough" he says "Ok. I love you" "I love you too".

And with that they leave, leaving me alone in the bunker. I take Dean's scotch and I go outside. I sit on the ground and I take a sip letting the alcohol burn my throat.
_____________

I look at my phone.

10:16 PM
I take a long sip and I start to cry. Dean is gone and I can't do anything about it. The love of my life, the man that brought me back from that bad place I was 5 years ago is dead.