The Purple Flame (A Mephisto Pheles/Blue Exorcist Romance Novel)

Chapter 43- Retribution

I pretend to sleep just so I could be alone if only for a small amount of time.

My eyes become puffy and red from crying so much. I feel weak for crying, and for feeling so helpless... because I know that if I'm going to get through this without Mephisto by my side, I'll have to be the strongest I've ever been.

I know it's only a matter of time before I break... but I wish I knew just how long that would be.

Time seems to drone on longer in Gehenna, because I feel as if I've been here for weeks already.

I open my eyes and sigh, staring at the dark, blank wall in front of me. It's impossible to get in a comfortable position with this body suit on, causing me to shift around every minute on the hard bed.

It's strange.

I'm a demon, aren't I? Shouldn't I be used to Gehenna by now? Shouldn't I already be consumed by the pending evil that's yet to consume me?

... No.

I guess not.

I sit up straight in the bed, wrapping my arms around my legs as I bury my face into my knees. I breathe slowly and softly, the eerie silence of the room making me feel uncomfortable although I'm by myself.

I feel tears falling down my cheeks, but inside, I feel nothing.

They're cold and drop onto the leather of my jumpsuit, running off of my knee and onto the bed beneath me.

I slowly open my eyes, Mephisto in my mind as I wipe my tears away.

"It really sucks here, Mephisto." I whisper, almost inaudible. "I'm not gonna lie."

Memories of me speaking with Mephisto hit me immediately, causing me to begin to sob.

"Wherever you are up there... I hope you're okay. I hope you're keeping everyone safe. I hope that you're... I hope that you're... okay." I realize I'm repeating myself, everything inside of me shutting down. "Please don't miss me too much. P-please don't hurt the way I'm hurting, my dear... Please be okay."

I want to imagine that he can somehow hear me, and on the other side, he's saying that yes... he is okay.

My hand shakes as I continously wipe away my tears, my sobs seeming to grow louder and louder as the memories become clearer.

I scoff and shake my head, my concious seeming to tell me to "stop".

There is no time to hurt. There is no time to miss what I once had.

Because if I begin to miss what I had with Mephisto, then that mean's I'm slipping closer to the idea that I may never see him again.

I'm going to see him again.

I'm going to get out of here.

I'm going to.

But sitting here crying... won't get me anywhere. At all.

I... I have to-

My thoughts become interrupted when I hear my door slowly creaking open.

I look up and don't see immediately who it is, but after a few moments, I'm able to make out the figure.

I see a white coat, violet hair, glistening white teeth, and electrifying, hazy green eyes.

M... Mephisto?

I'm... I'm dreaming. I... I must've actually fallen asleep.

I smile once I realize that even though this is just a dream, it still feels real.