L Lawliet x reader head-canon oneshots 2 • DEATH NOTE [COMPLETED]

Another analyis on L woop

A/n: I'm getting my hair cut and dyed black on the weekend so I'll have a front fringe again. This bitch gonna end up looking like Naomi Misora, 2006 live action Misa and L if he walked into a gender bend machine all at once.

Ok. Another analysis.

For some reason people over on tumblr REEEAAALLYYY like to debate L's mental illness so I thought I'd put my two cents in.

The biggest theory is that he has HFA (high functioning autism) but honestly I think otherwise. I know people with HFA and it didn't seem to match up. I know autism as a massive spectrum and there's different symptoms for different people but when it comes to L I lean more toward PTSD.

Here's why.

PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) is caused by a massive trauma in the sufferers life, in L's case it would be the process of losing his parents and becoming an orphan. Or it can be genetic in some cases, so maybe his parents gave it to him? Usually it's caused by one big trauma and a few other traumas that really set it in. Here's what L's traumas could be.

•being orphaned at a young age
•the process of being in a strange new place (Wammy's) and not understanding why he suffers this fate
•he seems to be overwhelmed by too much social interaction, in L file 15 he pushed kids away when they tried to touch him. So maybe the sudden increase of attention from all the kids when he first arrived at the orphanage left a bit of a scar
•a case he worked on could have taken a toll on him.

PTSD can also be a root course for multiple other mental illness.

Here's some of the things common in PTSD that L demonstrates:

Irritability: although he doesn't outright express it we do hear him get irritated in his internal monologues a lot. Whenever the taskforce go ons and on he goes "here it comes..." or "here we go again" showing he gets sick of their shit very easily.

Social isolation: pretty obvious, apart from Watari he went out of his way to completely isolate himself from the world and while this is done to protect his identity as L, that doesn't mean he could still make friends under aliases, which he never did. He chose to completely isolate himself until he was forced to work with the taskforce.

Anxiety and or mistrust: it's pretty obvious he doesn't really trust anyone, he never ever told anyone his name, he didn't ever discuss the fact he was British until Light asked, and then he immediately changed the conversation. He only really asks Watari for favours and doesn't rely on anyone else. Sure, some of this could be driven by him keeping his identity as L and Wammy's House hidden but he does it nonetheless. A lot of the little things he does like putting his fingers up to his mouth and biting his nails as well as playing with food and not being able to keep his feet still are all small ticks that are caused by anxiety slowly brewing.

Loneliness: to be fair, it's kind of hard to tell if he really felt lonely since he was so deadpan but that rain scene at the end and the his time of voice when talking about how light was his "first friend" hints sadness, which could suggest he feels lonely.

Insomnia: do I even have to explain? When did we ever see L sleep? Never. And look at those bags

Emotional detachment: again pretty obvious. I've made multiple posts about why he does have emotion, but he doesn't know how to deal with it. He is constantly deadpan, monotone, and never really gets outbursts. Even when he's literally fighting light he's still clam about it. This all shows that he's detached from his emotions and doesn't know how to deal with them, so he doesn't even think about them at all.

Not only can PTSD cause insomnia, it can also cause depression, anxiety, eating disorders and OCD.

L does state he is depressed and does show signs of it, but it's unclear if he was talking about being depressed as I'm being sad at that particular moment or if he was always depressed and having a bad episode at that time.

He also shows a few symptoms of OCD which could have been caused by the PTSD.

For example, someone with OCD linked to PTSD could have to shake the door handle for a certain amount of time to make sure it's locked because they were broken into and the PTSD side tells them they're scared it will happen again, so the ODC side tells them to quadruple check the doors.

Most commonly when someone says OCD, they think repetitive behaviour, or extensive cleaning. But it can also be having to do a certain thing because if they don't, it feels like something bad will happen. L sort of does these in his own way.

Possibly, the way he sits could be attributed to this, he feels he HAS to sit like that (the thing he has to do) otherwise he won't be as intellectually capable (the bad thing he feels will happen).

Stacking his coffee capsules and sugar cubes could be attributed to obsessive behaviours. He always does it. And of course there's the whole thing about L hating germs.

I mean...

The man throws himself into a fucking washing machine just to be sure.

If that's not an extreme fear of germs then I don't know what is. ALSO in that mobile there scene that was cut out of the anime he literally shook a lights hand and the was like. "Ew, better fucking sanitise my hands now"

So I mean...

It's pretty obvious.

So that's why I tend to lean more toward PTSD. PTSD can cause multiple other mental illness so it's possible he has OCD/depression caused BY his PTSD.

I think most people lean toward HFA and Aspergers because of his intelligence and strange behaviours. But once again I know people with HFA and it just doesn't really line up to me??? Like yeah, it's a wide spectrum with lots of symptoms but I feel he fits way better into PTSD. Of course I'm not a doctor, and he canonly has no confined illness (the rumour about him having Aspergers is false, check the wiki) apatrt from some form on insomnia. But it's just my guess.

If anyone actually does have PTSD (that's not self diagnosing, just go see a doctor hun) and wants to conform or deny this or add to the theory just tell me in the comments.

Ok one shot coming later.