Jamilton Oneshots // Hamilton ✔️

Sick [JAMILTON] [PART TWO]

this is angst. i do not love angst nor making people cry, so i'm kinda bad at angst ig. i mean my notebook is full of my angsty feelings, so that's one angst book i've written
anyway, let's gooo
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"He's going to die." Nurse Peggy looked Thomas straight in the eye. Her own eyes were full of pity, but she had to do this at least once a week, Thomas doubted the feeling was real.

"N-No. Not my Alexander." Thomas's eyes began to water, filling with tears. Looking at Nurse Peggy one last time, he ran to Alex's room.

"T-T-Tommy." Alex whispered when Thomas entered. Thomas tried to calm down, Alex didn't even know he was going to die.

"A-Alex. I love you." Thomas walked towards Alex, hugging him and pulling him close. Alex was too weak to hug Thomas back, but Thomas could feel his face become hotter and knew a smile was on his face.

"T-Tommy. W-W-W-What's wrong?" He sounded like he was in a terrible rap song with a bunch of stuttering, but Thomas didn't tease him about it like he used to when Alex was sad.

"Nothing. Keep talking." Thomas wanted to hear Alex's voice, maybe for the last time. He was going to die.

"T-Tommy... I love you...." His body went limp in Thomas's arms, his body not moving, not once. He wasn't breathing.

"NURSE!" Thomas screamed.

In less than a second or two, a nurse rushed in and ushered Thomas out of the room. The last thing he saw was Alex on the bed, eyes closed. His mouth was open yet no words were coming out. He was dead.

~~~

"I-I-I-It was all my fault..." Thomas screamed into the apartment. His scream was long and sad. He was blamimg himself for Alex's death although he had nothing to do with it. "I loved him..."

He began to throw everything that belonged to him around the apartment. His sheets were torn off his bed. His phone was flung acorss the room. He ignored all the texts from John, Hercules, and Lafayette. He didn't want to hear from them. Even his nightstand was sitting it's sad.

When he was done, the apartment was a mess. However, he was able to find the rope Alex had. He had tried to kill himself once. Thomas had stopped him. That was before he confessed his feelings for him. But that day, they felt closer than ever. Thomas held Alex that day for longer than two hours as he cried. He rocked back and forth to help Alex sleep, which he did eventually. It was adorable.

It was adorable.

He was dead.

Dead.

Dead.

Thomas wanted to join him.

Putting the rope on the shower curtain rod, he stood on top of the bath, the rope around his neck.

"I love you, Alex."

He jumped off the bath wall, laughing and smiling. He would be with Alex.

The moment the rope tightend around his neck, his smile and laugh were impossible to make, even though he did want to smile and laugh. As the breath was sucked out of him, the only thing that filled his mind was Alex's face. That beautiful face.

Goodbye, world.

~~~
wAs iT sAd eNoUgH

._.

IM BAD AT ANGST lmao