We've watched it All Fall Down in the first book.
Now let's take a journey and see if things change or if they remain the same.
MUST READ "ALL FALLS DOWN"
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"My bad" Carter chuckled rubbing the back off his neck as we pulled away
"It's fine" I smiled at him
"I don't want it to be weird between us" he said
I looked around seeing that we were still outside.
"Can we talk inside" I said as I started seeing people look out their windows and I hated when people were in my business.
"Yeah come on" He grabbed my hand leading me inside
As we walked in I wiped the tears that were still fresh on my face with my free hand.
At this point I was confused. Like I'm not gonna lie and say that I have no feelings for Carter but I still wasn't completely over Dave and I wouldn't feel right giving Carter any hope knowing that I wouldn't be able to give myself all of me.
Many will be like fuck Dave he ain't shit but what many fail to realize is that although we went through so much shit Dave healed me.
Yeah he was also the one to break me at the end of it all but while we were together he healed me from being that scared little girl who didn't know what love was.
He helped me love my body and myself despite everything I've been through. When I felt ugly he boasted me up and made me feel important. He was my first true love.
When he wasn't being a baby and throwing his temper tantrums he was my peace. He made me feel safe in this cold world. Feelings like those won't go away just like that no matter how fucked up he might have treated me.
I want to hate him and scream fuck him but how can I do that when I don't hate him? When I still have feelings for him and most importantly when we share a beautiful baby boy together?
"Listen Desire I ain't mean to come onto you like that and kiss you out the blue especially when you're vulnerable. But I couldn't help myself. I've been wanting to do that for a while now. I have feelings for you but I know you ain't ready" He said looking at me right in my eyes making me feel some type of way
"Carter I'll be lying if I said I didn't have feelings for you and I'll also be lying if I said I didn't feel nothing with that kiss but I'm not fully over Dave and the last thing I want to do is drag you along and possibly hurt you because that's the last thing I want to do. And I also know you and Ant are cool and I don't want to cause any problems between any of you"
I don't feel right going with Carter knowing mine and Ant's past. They were really good friends and I didn't want anything to feel Awkward especially since me and Ant were co parenting Heaven.
"I understand that you're not over Dave. I fully do. I mean it hasn't even been that long since everything went down so it's normal but I couldn't keep going on holding my feelings in. You've changed me and made me a better person. I don't care if we never date I just don't want things to get weird between us. I want us to be the same way"
