We've watched it All Fall Down in the first book.
Now let's take a journey and see if things change or if they remain the same.
MUST READ "ALL FALLS DOWN"
Working on chapter 14 so blow them votes and comments up
Also don't forget to vote on Chapter 12!
I'm back ya'll!!
I was going through some shit so my mind wasn't focused on updating but I don't want to leave ya'll hanging so I'm going to update as much as I can!
But show me the love. The votes went down but I know we can get them back up!
DESIRE
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"This place was recently renovated. You'll see that it has everything you need to make some amazing music and have guest feeling right at home" The realtor spoke as he showed us around the studio that Carter was looking at.
We've been looking at studios all day because he didn't like the one he previously rented out. He said it didn't fit his needs so here we were looking at more.
"And how much is it going for?" Carter asked
From the looks of it this one really caught his attention because he was more into the conversation with the dude unlike all the others ones where he only answered with a "Uh yeah" making me want to smack his ass.
"Well usually it goes for 3 grand a month but I'm sure we can come to some sort of agreement to see what fits you better"
3 grand for this shit hell no. These niggas were crazy but I was going to shut my ass up and let him do him.
Kairo started getting fussy so I decided to step out so that he wouldn't interrupt his concentration.
"You hungry baby?" I smiled at him as I got the bottle of pre pumped milk out of the diaper bag so I could feed him.
I sat down on the small bench located outside of the studio and began feeding him.
We've been in California for about two weeks and I must say everything's different out here.
The atmosphere, people everything was different. The people were some what nicer. The atmosphere felt more calmer and let's not forget the weather is amazing.
As I was finishing up feeding him his bottle my phone started ringing. I grabbed it from my purse seeing that it was Kain calling
"Hey Kain" I answered putting Kairo in the stroller
"Hey Dess what you doing?" He asked by the sound of his voice I could tell he was tired
"I'm looking at studios with Carter. Why do you sound so tired?"
"I was up all night trying to finish up these essays and applying for jobs"
"Kain I told you don't worry about the job right now. Finish school. I'll help take care of your baby" I told him
Kain was a smart boy and there was no doubt in my mind that he was going to be someone in life but the last thing I wanted was for him to say fuck school and give up on all his dreams.
I know that I should be making him take responsibility but he's still so young and I know that he won't be able to handle school,a job and a new born baby so the best I could I do was help him the best way I could
"I know Dess but I can't have you taking care of my responsibilities. I'm the one that fucked up so the best thing I can do is man up and accept it"
"I know that but I want you to finish school. Just wait it out okay please"
The phone was silent for a minute until he finally spoke up
"Fine"
"Good now what are you doing?"
"Nothing waiting for Diamond and her mom to get home from the store"
"How you like living with her?" I asked just as Carter came out
"It's decent. I mean better than living at Dave's. I went over there and it's a disaster. Layla's pregnant. Nataya's always a bitch. She think she runs shit and Dave be disappearing for day at a time so it was just stressful living over there. Here it's more chill and I don't feel like I'm hated"
It honestly broke my heart that Kain had to go through all this at the age of 16. He lost his mother and brother in a 3 year time span and now he can't even count on his other relatives for anything.
I didn't want to leave him but Dave wasn't allowing me to bring him with me.
" Just finish the school year and you and Diamond can come spend the summer out here with the new baby" I said as Carter took Kairo from me so we could leave.
"Sounds good but they're here so I'll call you later. Love you"
"Love you too please be careful"
"I will give Ro a kiss for me" He said hanging up
"Who was that?" Carter asked as we got in the car
"Kain. Guess shits not lighting up over there" I shook my head
I honestly don't know how everything went left. Like how did we all get to the point where we are now? Everything was going smoothly a couple months ago but now it's like damn what the fuck happened.
It hurt me that Dave turned his back on me. He was the only person I learned to trust with everything in me and once again he turned out just like everybody else. He left me when shit got tough without even letting me explain myself.
But now looking back at it maybe that's what needed to happen for me to find myself. I needed to find my worth and know how to value myself as a women and as a human.
Before I didn't know what I was worth. To me I was nothing but a useless abused female that nobody would ever grow to love.
In my mind all I was ever good for was sex since that's all guys ever wanted from. They wanted sex and they went through great lengths to get it from me so I just got the idea that I didn't deserve love. I wasn't worth anybody loving me but now I know that's not the case
I'm a queen and I deserve to be treated like one and I'll be damned if I let anyone else knock my crown off my head.
I had an example to set for my son so I couldn't continue to let people walk all over me. I need to show him how to be strong and independent because even though his father doesn't want anything to do with him I'll never let him feel that disappointment.
