BTS Angsts

Jeon Jungkook - Downfall

(a/n: This is kind of an angst + fluff. Hope you like it; let me know what you think.)

<Your Pov>
Your battle with depression and anxiety was getting harder....and no one knew. You hid it from your boyfriend, Jungkook, so he thought you were getting better. Really, you weren't. Each day consisted of the same routine; going to work and then going back home. It didn't help that Jungkook wasn't in the same department as you, but you still crossed paths during break times. Today, like any other Monday morning, was yet another day at work. You and Jungkook both worked in the photography industry, as that was a passion that you both found to have. You got up, washed your face and got changed. Glancing at the anti-depressants on your bedside table, your heart leaped in your chest. You didn't like taking those, because they gave you this sick feeling in your stomach, and you didn't like being labelled as 'mental'. You sighed, and walked out of your room, skipping your dose for today. Going into the kitchen, you were at a loss for appetite and decided you'd skip breakfast too. You grabbed your jacket before walking out, locking the door behind you. As soon as you stepped out, you felt rain drops against your shoes and sighed. You didn't like the rain, because that meant you couldn't go to the usual outdoor cafe with Jungkook during break times. Apart from that, whenever it rained, Jungkook wouldn't go for break and just stay inside his office working hard. There were times you'd gone into his office during rainy days, but he always proved to be too busy to spend time with you. This didn't concern you, as you didn't want to bother Jungkook anyway. Walking to the bus stop, you felt as though a huge wave of regret had hit you. All past mistakes flooded your brain, and the familiar voices sparked up. This was normally what happened when you skipped taking your anti-depressants but this one felt different. "Get out of my head.." You whispered as the voices only came back stronger.

You think that Jungkook loves you??
You're nothing but a nuisance to him.
A bother.
You're nothing.
Not good enough.
Worthless.
Idiot.

Shaking your head madly, you wished it would just go away. When you boarded the bus, it felt as though everyone was looking at you, making you self conscious. You quickly found a seat and pulled out your phone, trying harder to push the stupid voices away, but your efforts proved to be pointless, as you felt tears streaming down your face. "Stop crying...stop crying...." You mumbled to yourself, and wiped the tears away with your sleeve. You quickly texted Jungkook before putting your phone down, waiting for his response.

(Y/N): Kookie....please help me...

You stared out of the bus window and focussed on the rain drops slowly falling against the glass. The rain remained at a light drizzle, making the trees shimmer with the water droplets that fell on the green leaves. You drummed your fingers against your knee, trying to remain calm. You felt your phone vibrate and saw Jungkook had replied back.

JK: Where are you?

With shaking hands, you typed a reply and hit send as you felt your chest tightening.

(Y/N): On the bus^
JK: Get off the bus. I'm driving there now.

You obeyed Jungkook's request and quickly got off the bus. Just as you did, a familiar red car slowed near the curb and you saw the door open. Jungkook stepped out, his tie hung loosely around his neck, and he ran a hand through his messy bed hair. Your eyes locked with his and he ran up to you, pulling you into his embrace. Tears fell freely from your eyes and Jungkook pulled you tighter in his arms. "It's okay (Y/N)... I'm here..." He panted. The voices didn't fade, and you felt your hands starting to shake. "Kookie..." You mumbled. He looked down at you and wiped the tears away, before picking you up bridal style and helping you into his car. He started to drive back to his house, not letting go of his hand the entire way there. "It's going to be okay (Y/N)..." He said as he quickly negotiated the fastest route there.

Once you arrived, you walked into the house and you both lay on the bed. Your head rested against his chest, so you could hear his heart drumming away inside. He stroked your hair and kept your shaking hands interlocked with his. "Did you take your anti depressants?" He asked, breaking the silence. "No..." You mumbled and he sighed. "That's okay, but remember to take it tomorrow alright?" You nodded slowly and he pulled you closer to him. You were glad Jungkook was there for you.

Even at your worst downfall.