BTS Angsts

Park Jimin - Give up

(A/N: I've also started another book called "saying goodbye", so I'd appreciate it if you could check that out too. Thanks <3)

[Trigger Warning: Contains self harm]

<Your Pov>

~1 Year Ago~
"Do you love me?" Jimin asked, tears welling up in his eyes, threatening to fall any minute. Your knuckles were gripped tightly around the knife in your hand, and you felt your blood dripping down from your wrist. Jimin had walked in on you self harming; and this wasn't the first time. You looked down at your hand and dropped the knife. "Yes, Jimin. I love you..." You replied, looking back up at Jimin. A tear fell from his eye but he quickly wiped it away. "If you love me (Y/N).....then don't leave me...." He said quietly as more tears rolled down his cheeks. "I'm not going to leave you Jimin I ju-" He cut you off by pulling you close to his chest for a hug. "What you're doing is dangerous....and you could leave this world forever if you keep up with this." He explained, still hugging you tightly. "I'm sorry Jimin..." You mumbled, but he shushed you. "No...don't be sorry. I just have to help you love yourself..." He replied as you both pulled away. "Will you let me help you?" He asked, holding both of your hands in his. "Y-yes..." You stuttered back, and his mouth formed into the tiniest smile. He pulled you over to the bathroom and made you sit down on the edge of the bathtub. Taking out a few bandaids and some cotton balls, he cleaned up your cuts, being very careful not to hurt you. "Does it hurt?" He asked. You nodded slowly and he kissed your forehead lightly. "Better?" He said with a smirk and you smiled. He always added humour to even the worst situations. Once he was done, he put the materials away and led you back to the bedroom and lay down. You stayed standing and stared at him with a confused look on your face. Jimin patted a spot next to him. "Lay down next to me.." He said with a smile and you obliged. He took you into his arms and you stayed like that, leaning your head on his chest. You could hear his heart beating softly, bringing you to be at peace. "I'm not going to give up on you, okay?" He said after a while. You looked up at him, and your eyes locked with his. "I'm going to help you love yourself. No matter what." He whispered, before smiling. You smiled back, before hugging him tighter, and letting yourself fall asleep soundly with Jimin holding you close...

~ Present Time ~
<Your Pov>
The house was dark. The curtains were closed. Dirty dishes were piled up in the sink, and a heap of tissues were scattered on the dining table. You lay in your bed, feeling emotionless. With a blanket over your head and a knife in one hand, you continued the same motion of dragging the blade across your skin - just enough to draw blood. The only thought on your mind was him. Jimin. The one person that had made you feel happy. But now, he was gone. The argument repeated round and round in your head like a broken record, and you let the tears roll down your cheeks freely as you remembered every single bit of it. "You haven't changed (Y/N)!!! Why can't you just stop??? I tried everything, and you're still doing this!!!!" He had yelled at you after coming home from work one day, finding you doing the same thing as before. Normally, he'd help you clean up and you'd cuddle on the bed until you fell asleep. But you figured that Jimin had reached his breaking point at that time. You pulled the blanket over your head a bit more, so you were in complete darkness. It felt better to be in such a dark environment, so you were just alone with your thoughts....and the knife. Blood dropped down onto the bed sheet but you didn't care. You just kept going. You slowly felt your vision blurring, and your head pounded like a drum. "Is this it?" You whispered to yourself, and put the knife down. You pulled the blanket off and stared up at the ceiling. The pain increased more, and you felt yourself slipping in and out of consciousness. "I....love.....you.....Jimin...." You thought, before letting the darkness pull you in, and your eyes slowly came to a close...

<Jimin's Pov>
"Please Yoongi!" I begged, and he sighed. "Okay fine..." he replied and I clapped my hands in celebration. "Bye!" I called out, before leaving the dorm with Yoongi's dog Hollie. I really wanted to take her out on a walk, because Hoseok-hyung also got to do it. I walked out and went around the area, passing many houses as I went. I walked along a familiar street and felt guilt in my heart, but wasn't sure why. I turned the corner and was forced to stop. Ahead of me, was (Y/N)'s house. It was like the air from my lungs had been sucked out. Outside the house there were a lot of police cars, and two ambulances. I saw (Y/N)'s mother and father talking to police officers, as well as a body bag on a gurney, behind wheeled into the ambulance. (Y/N)'s mother was crying hard and her father sank down to the ground with his head in his hands. I quickly rushed over and approached (Y/N)'s mother. "Excuse me I-" She cut me off by pushing my chest hard, but I stood my ground. "If you hadn't left her, she would still be here!!!" She yelled, as she sobbed. I looked down and dropped the dog leash at my feet, falling onto my knees. "I'm sorry (Y/N)..." I whispered. My heart filled with guilt and regret. I let my tears fall freely and my head hung low.

"If I only I hadn't given up on you..."