BTS Angsts

Jeon Jungkook - Running

<Jungkook's Pov>
The winter night hits me again as I step out from the dorm, onto the pavement. It's been a rough week. (Y/N) and I have had countless fights. Just argument after argument resulting in tears and heavy hearts. I've stayed at the dorm this week. Normally I'd be with (Y/N), but I guess I'm not ready to face her yet. Who knows what could happen? I don't want to start another argument with her. It would hurt again just like every other fight. I walk to the old park we used to meet at. It's pretty much the halfway point between the dorm and (Y/N)'s apartment. I walk over to the big spinning platform where (Y/N) and I used to spin round and round. Her head on my chest, and us spinning slowly. Normally I'd come here with (Y/N). We'd sneak out between my busy schedule just to feel each other's warmth. Now it's just me. I lay on the spinning platform and push my foot against the ground so I'm turning slowly. Thoughts running through my head.

Could this be it?
Could this be the end?
I promised you forever, but I couldn't even stay for a whole year. I'm sorry.
Will it just be like this now?
Only exchanging smiles in the street every now and then, or holding the door open for each other. Is this what it has come to? If this is the end of it then I no longer want to live. I no longer want to breathe. I see no purpose now that I'm losing you.
I see no point.

My head pounds as the platform slows and is now completely still. I feel like I'm going to be sick as I imagine losing (Y/N) completely. It's already happening slowly, but I don't want to admit it. I sit up a little too quickly and feel dizzy. I clear my throat and get off the platform, and before I know it I'm running. Feeling the wind push against me, I run faster. Harder. Like the world is a giant treadmill. I run, without having a destination. I just want to get rid of this sensation pulsating through me. I feel like I'm suffocating. Like my throat is closing in. All I can think about is (Y/N). How much I miss her. All the times I said I'd always be with her. All the times I said we'd last forever. It didn't happen. I took her for granted. I dropped to my knees when I reached the petrol station. The smell of fumes raging through my nose. The hard concrete below me. I let my head hang low and my tears run freely. I screamed, but it's like the world was just as empty as my heart. I didn't want to lose (Y/N) but she is already slipping right from my fingers. I can't hold onto her any longer. Thoughts push through my mind again just like before and it's though (Y/N)'s right there beside me, like I'm talking to her.

This is the end now clearly. I've been missing you for what feels like so long but it's only been a week and I'm holding my hopes in case you let me come back. But I can't. I'm not brave enough. I'm just weak. I'm sorry. I can't. This is where it ends for us. So keep moving forward. Don't worry, I'll catch up soon. Just keep living. Don't look back (Y/N). Just keep going. Keep running through life and don't let anyone get in your way.
Just keep running (Y/N).

Just keep running....