"Keeping Promises" (Part 2)

Babysitting and Down Time

We got to Conner and Becca's the next morning and I was sitting on the couch with Chris in my arms and he was staring up at me with his cute baby cheeks and eyes. I couldn't believe how amazing of a little boy he is. I swear I melted when I held him and I loved this boy like he was my very own. I just looked at him and Conner snapped me out of my trance.

Conner: Mom you ok?
Me: Oh yeah sweetie I'm fine.
Conner: are you sure?
Me: Yeah promise.
Becca: You don't look ok mom.
Me: I promise Becca I'm fine. Just needed a minute with my grand baby.
Becca: Okay well we are in the kitchen if you need us.
Me: Thanks.

Ben came out a couple of minutes later with some coffee for him and I and he sat next to me with his arm around my shoulder.

Ben: Do you mind if I hold him?
Me: No sure here you go.

As Ben was holding him and he was silent I just kept having these moments of wanting to give him a child that a tear ran down my face.

I texted Olivia and she answered back with sad faces.

Olivia: Baby or no baby Sarah just let him be a step grandpa to Chris.

I agreed with the text she sent.

I knew he was going to be okay with Ben and I walked into the kitchen when the door bell rang. Conner went to the door and there stood Aaron with Blake and Chrissy.

I just stared at them and walked into the guest bedroom and locked the door.

They looked at me with concern but I just walked by like nothing happened and I took Chris from Ben and Jeter followed me.

Chrissy: I'm sorry if the other day was too soon for her Ben.
Ben: Just give her some time. She's going through phases.
Chrissy: Are you sure? I don't like her avoiding me.
Ben: trust me let her come to you when she's ready.
Chrissy: Okay. Blake was with Aaron for the day so I'm sorry that we brought him. He just wanted to make sure Sarah was ok.
Ben: No that's fine. I'm over the bridge but Sarah needs time.
Blake: I understand.
Aaron: yeah I do also.

Sarah's POV:

As I sit here in this room holding my grandson I look outside the window into the city on the chair with Jeter on the floor next to me and think if I could have another child I would. Only having two breaks me every single day because I wish I had more. I also didn't think Aaron and Chrissy getting married was going to impact me so much but it did. It was like something ran through my mind that I couldn't quite put my finger on. I guess I would have to figure it out one day. Ben walked in a couple of minutes later with two cups of coffee again.

Ben: You ok babe?
Me: Yea I'm fine.
Ben: Want me to hold him while you drink your coffee?
Me: Nope I'm good. I just like holding him it helps my anxiety.
Ben: I understand.

Blake walked in a couple of minutes later and I looked over at him and looked back towards the window in front of me.

Blake: Sarah.
Me: Yep.
Blake: Thank you for helping me.
Me: your welcome. Taylor called me.
Blake: Yeah he told me.
Me: Are you ok now?
Blake: Yeah. Maggie has been helping me.
Me: Oh good. Yeah she's very good with athletes in her area like I am. That's why we get along and when I can't help someone I refer them to her and her friend's husband.
Blake: Oh he was really good. He understood where I was coming from.
Me: Blake why did Melissa abuse you?
Blake: It wasn't physical.
Me: Still Blake you never let a woman do that to you!

I gave Christian to Ben and he took him from me.

Blake: I know I should have not let my guard down.
Me: Let me guess Tatum, Smart, and Brown set you up with her.
Blake: Damn you are good.
Me: I ain't stupid Blake. I'm a smart person.
Blake: No one knows I'm here.
Me: Isn't that a good thing. Those guys and that team are assholes Blake. They only care about hurting you they don't care about making you feel like yourself or to better yourself. I don't care who says what anymore about that team they are AWFUL! They ruined you Blake! The Blake now I see in front of me is NOT the Blake I was engaged to or the Blake I was married to. I want that Blake back and maybe we can talk more but for right now I want you to continue to talk to Maggie and to those I believe should help you.

Ben: Dude what went down with us leave that in the past because you were more fucked up than I was.
Blake: I agree.
Ben: Sarah is trying to help you dude and she didn't have to do this but if she still wants to help you even after all that you have done that means she loves you. She doesn't want you to fall in a ditch and suffer. The people she loves and cherishes she will help that's why Taylor called her.
Blake: Do you think when the time is right I will be happy again?
Ben: Oh yeah when the time is right but for right now focus on what you can control like your mental health and basketball. Sarah is just a bonus for me. I got lucky with her.
Blake: Yeah I know. Do you think she has anyone?
Me: Oh I do. When the time is right.
Blake: Thanks Sarah.
Me: Don't thank me until I see the Blake I know again.
Blake: I understand.

He walked out of the room as did Ben and I with Christian.

Let's just say we had a lot of lessons to learn. What matters in the end is how we apply those lessons we learned to the real world.