Persphyni: I am Determined

71

"Alright, shows over." I boomed, turning from Bellamy to look around at the shocked crowd. A wave of confidence rolling over me as the previous weight fell off my shoulders. I'd be able to focus on what needed to be focused on now.

Getting back to Eden.

I pulled out a dagger and twirled it on my fingertip.

"Or I could do an encore, though you may not like it." The threat laced deep beneath the words and hid within my action as I smirked.

When everyone went back to minding their own business, I turned towards my family by the Rover. I saw a wide-eyed Monty beside a smirking Harper and a smiling Clarke. Then Madi stood just in front of Clarke with a beaming grin on her face. Her feet bouncing as I made my way over to them.

"That was awesome." I chuckled at Madi and ruffled her hair before looking at Monty and Harper.

"I haven't changed too much, right?" Harper laughed and wrapped me in another hug as Monty shook his head with a smile.

"Not much at all." I smiled as I separated from Harper. Though my smile fell as I remembered something very important.

"Hey, uh, why don't you take Harper and Madi to go see Octavia. I know Madi is probably anxious to meet her." Clarke rose an eyebrow but didn't question me. When the three of them walked away I turned back to Monty.

"I need to show you something."

_______•*•*•*•_______

"I don't know how it's lasted this long, you managed to connect the wires just right I guess." Monty spoke as he observed the solar panel that had been wavering slightly.

"It's only this one, but you should probably check them all just in case. It may be that I forgot to do a last step that would increase the longevity but I'm not a mechanic or engineer." Monty nodded. Turning to face me as I tapped my foot. His eyes narrowing at the motion.

"There's something else isn't there?" I nodded.

"We found a box that belonged to Jasper from the wreckage of the Arc on the ground. I'm not sure where Clarke moved it- but there was a letter addressed to you. He- he also wrote one to me. I do have that with me in my pack, if you wanted to read it you can. I thought maybe you'd like to read his handwriting so you could hear his voice. I don't know, it's stupid-" I got cutoff by Monty wrapping me into a hug. His forehead on my shoulder as I hugged him back.

"It's not stupid." I heard him sniffle. "I would like to read it, if I may." I smiled, nodding.

Pulling away from the hug, I went around to the driver seat where I tossed my bag in. I quickly unzipped the small hidden pocket on the left shoulder strap. My hand closing around the small folded note.

"I've already shed some tears on the paper, if you need to don't feel like you can't. I'll give you some privacy." I passed him the folded note then grabbed my bag. I swung it over my shoulder before heading out. The bag smacked against my sword as I adjusted the pack to sit evenly on my back.

I had kept Jasper's note in my backpack since I first read it. It serves as a reminder and as encouragement when I need it. I never dealt with the separation between Jasper and I. I simply pushed away from him after trying to find a way back into his life. I gave up on him when the world began to end. I created the gigantic hole where our relationship was- not him.

I have faced my regret. The note a bitter pill of what could have been had I done something differently. Jasper and I had been close. Then I pulled that lever, I took responsibility for all those deaths. Jasper and I's friendship being one of them.

He wasn't even the one who needed to be forgiven. It was me. There could have been a way to save Maya at the very least. I know Jasper would have done it instantly. But by the time we would have thought of it, it would have been too late.

I took a deep inhale and moved further from the Rover and towards where Harper and Madi stood.

"I take it I'm not the only one who isn't a fan?" I whispered to Harper as I saw Bellamy, Echo, and a mad Octavia.

"I couldn't tell who is madder. You or her." Harper whispered back. "You know she isn't all that bad. Six years up there and I've learned a handful of things." I felt this twinge of pain shoot through me as Harper's final words.

"I'm certain." I whispered stepping forward slightly. "She is."

"Hmm?" I pointed my head towards Octavia at her question.

"To answer who is madder. Octavia is. She didn't know Echo had made it onto the ship. Plus I don't think disrupting her brother and I gave Echo any brownie points, in either of our books." I turned, walking backwards with a smirk. "Besides, I know his heart. And he knows mine. If he breaks it, I'll break him." I sent her a wink before turning and walking away.

My swagger slowly catching each step, but still not fully there.

Oh how I miss it. But I can only fake it for now.

Each step away I got further and further up the mound of sand I had decided to climb. Growing further from the group as I breathed in the air.

Perfect weather for a storm.