Persphyni: I am Determined

49

"Because I'll kill you before you go to pull the trigger." I growled. Pushing up from the grass, eyes burning as I looked at Diyoza. "If you so much as move your finger you're more of a dead woman than you already are." My arms shook as I struggled to bare my own weight. My knees bent as I went to push off from the ground.

My words were only loud enough for Diyoza, McCreary, Shaw, and a few others to hear as he responded on his own.

"How about I give you 283? That's how many of your people are gonna die if you and I can't make a deal."

My ears were ringing. His voice sounded so far away. But the familiarity was calming. Peaceful. The situation the total opposite but I live for chaos. My arms collapsed, sending me back towards the ground. The resisting had taken its toll.

I vaguely heard the Rover back up and sighed knowing they were leaving. Only I knew he was still here.

"Go with them." I croaked. My words a fading whisper as I saw spots. Wow. The shock messed me up. "Don't be a hero. Please." My eyes fluttered as I tried to keep them open.

"Get your ass out of here!" My voice was shaky as I yelled at him in Trig. McCreary kept to his word as he once again shocked me. My head spun as I held back the roar of pain that threatened to burst from my mouth. My body twitching as I refused to let a sound slip from my lips.

"Leave! Please!" The Trig was short and to the point in case he had forgotten. The words forced as the shock continued for a second afterwards before stopping. My heart raced as I regained my breath. The exhaustion of yelling through the pulses sent me spiraling.

I wiggled my hands in the earth as my head hung low. I still wouldn't make eye contact. I couldn't pick my head up even if I had wanted to. I was so tired.

"That's far enough. 283 lives for one. She must be pretty important to you."

"No." But only the blades of grass heard my lie as I folded into the ground.

"She is." The rasp in his voice was the last thing I heard clearly before I fell. My arms and legs completely dead as my body slumped to the grass. My eyes shut and my brain powered off to recharge and heal from the shock therapy.

You dumbass.

_______•*•*•*•_______

I was rudely awakened to the feel of hard metal as I rolled onto the ground. My body thudded as pain pulsed through my head. The cold sting of the metal shot my eyes open.

This wasn't the field. Or the tree house. Or even the town hall.

I looked around. My hand grabbing the bench as I rose from the floor. Rubbing away the ache in my hip as I did. My neck throbbed as I breathed in and out. My hands rose and I felt my own bare skin. A hiss leaving my mouth as I touched the raw and most likely pink flesh.

They had moved me onto their ship and taken the collar off. Idiots. Why not just leave me in the town hall? I slowly moved towards the door and attempted to get it open.

I pried with my fingers. Kicked. Pushed. Pulled. Tapped random buttons on the keypad hoping I'd manage to figure out the password. I even looked for an air vent.

I shuddered just at the thought. But if that's the only way out, I'd face the old friend again. Hopefully it would be the actual last time. But I didn't find any, so my vow still stood.

After an hour of trying to break out, I sat back down on the bench. Chest falling and rising in an even pattern. My back towards the door. Hands folded as I played with my fingers. Waiting.

I'd been here before. Trapped. Stuck inside a metal box. Only this time I still had my weapons on me. All of them save for my pistol I gave to Madi and the bow I had put up prior to being captured. Smart move on my part I guess.

The silence of the box was deafening. Flashes from the past weaving in and out as I gently cradled my head in my hands. This was just a temporary holding cell. I was going to be okay. There was no need to panic.

And yet, I still was.

I would give myself a few minutes of rest and then try again to get the hell out of here. Then I'd allow myself to rage-panic.

I inhaled. Exhaled. Repeat. Over and over again until the doors suddenly opened. I listened to the noise of the steps and my breath got stuck. The pattern was familiar, yet I hadn't heard it in so long.

The steps froze at the entrance to the cell. Neither of us moving. My head slowly rose from my hands as I stared at the back wall. Swallowing down the pocket of air that had begun to choke me.

"This isn't how I thought I'd surprise you when you came back. But now look at me. I can't even look at you." I whisper, my hands grabbing my neck as I stared at the wall. "I've become a coward. You know I thought I'd be so happy that you'd be here. Now you're here and I'll I can think is that you must hate me. I'm scared that I'll turn around and I'll realize that I had been dreaming a fantasy. A perfect world where nothing changed."

Silence.

"Surprise, I guess." My laugh was dry as I held back tears. Tears I didn't know I had in me. Tears I didn't know what they were for.

Silence.

"It's been six years of me being dead, I'm just a ghost haunting you. I'm sorry. I understand if you hate me. If you want me to go back to being dead in your mind. People change and six years is a long time. I will understand if you never forgive me. I left you. I hurt you." I exhaled deeply. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." And the quiet sobs began to trickle out of my mouth.

I didn't know I had this much emotion pent up in me. All this anger and sorrow needing to be released. I never meant to hurt him. I just wanted him to be safe. I wanted them all to be safe, no matter the cost.

"Persphyni." I closed my eyes at his voice. It was older, softer. But still his. I could feel his stare at the back of my head. It pierced through me and made me almost turn around. But I wouldn't. I was too stubborn.

"I-I don't know what to say." I nodded, sniffling at his words.

"No. It's okay. I understand." I sighed softly as I rung my hands out.

"No, you don't. You don't understand because if you did, you would have turned around and faced me by now."