Persphyni: I am Determined

58

The sun was rising by the time I had finished my morning run. The cold breeze still managed to be filled with heat as I ran through the dark debris filled streets of Polis. This would have been much better had I been running on my trail, but I played what was dealt.

I jogged to a stop by my bag I had hidden inside the debris of the broken fountain. My hands grabbing my large canteen of water and taking quick small sips before hastily sliding it back away from view. I didn't need a mob to descend upon me when they saw I had freshly steamed and cleaned river water.

I pulled my tank top from my body and used it to wipe my forehead as the sound of footsteps crunched on the gravel. I casually laid my tank top on my neck while discreetly reaching for the blades on either side of my hips. My hands grasping the daggers as the footsteps came closer.

I turned and aimed as the footsteps came to a quick halt. The arms of the person raising quickly as I pointed my dagger towards them. I huffed and resheathed my daggers before walking up and thumping them on the head.

"You should know by now that you have to say something. Or else next time I may not keep a firm hold on my daggers." Bellamy pouted as I turned around and walked back to my bag.

I groaned as I realized Clarke had just grabbed my bag as it was in the cave versus swiping a second change of clothes. So I had to put the clothes on from yesterday. The ones still covered in blood, now dry. But it was better than the sweaty ones I currently had on.

"That's new."

I turned and looked at Bellamy as he came closer. His eyes tracing my left arm. I laughed as I set my long sleeve black shirt down beside my sweaty tank top.

"Yeah. Clarke did it about a year ago." I held out my arm and looked at the tattoo. "It's my life story." I watched him scan the tattoo. His hand gently tracing the patterns as I watched him with a smile. His finger traced over the star point compass longer than the rest. His gentle touch sent goosebumps flaring up my arm as I unintentionally shivered.

"It's beautiful." His eyes slowly rose to look at me as I felt the beginning of a blush rise.

"Thank you." I cleared my throat and turned away for a moment to gather myself. "I think I still need to add a few things, but with everything going on..." I trailed off as I gestured to the slowly waking city of Polis.

His hand soon turning mine over before lightly tracing the black line of blood from my scar in my left palm. I had told him about my blood. But I hadn't showed it to him. And after I cut my hand yesterday he hasn't stopped glancing at it. His concern and constant surveillance over the wound was endearing but also annoying. I think he forgot I wasn't fragile. At least not externally. Internally I feel like a china shop whose doors have been left wide open near a cattle ranch.

We stood there in silence for a few moments longer before conversation approaching our whereabouts alerted us of our predicament. I was still halfway naked and Bellamy hadn't let go of my arm.

"Oh. Um." He cleared his throat as he let go of my arm. My hands grabbing the long sleeve shirt and sliding it on quickly before grabbing my backpack Clarke had smuggled onboard Diyoza's ship out from the fountain.

I reequipped my weapons that I had taken off and sealed the silver cuffs back over my wrists. My cloak pulled up over my head as it protected my bag and I from direct sight. We both turned to face the conversations and watched as Miller walked among people who were packing up. I trailed over to the small stone building I had secured for Molly, Lyla, and Spring and frowned when I saw no sign of movement.

"I'll be right back. I need to go check on Molly and Lyla." I didn't leave room for discussion as I darted away from the fountain. Leaving Bellamy standing alone in the middle of the city. But he understood. He knew how close I was with them.

I slipped into the doorway and found Molly rocking the one year old on her hip. Gently swaying her back and forth as Lyla rested on a sleeping bag.

"Good morning." I whispered as I approached Molly and the still sleeping child.

"Morning Persphyni." Molly glanced up to see me staring at Spring. "Would you like to hold her?" My eyes were wide as Molly smiled at me.

"I... I don't want to hurt her." Molly's face soften as she saw the true fear on my face.

"You won't. You just have to be careful." Molly was already moving the girl from her hip and lifting her to me. I panicked when I saw Spring's head lull.

Instinctively, I placed a hand behind the young one's head and pulled her body into mine. Fitting her around my side as I laid her sleepy head onto my shoulder. I slowly swayed as I stared at the beautiful girl. I knew when she woke up I was going to introduce myself even if she couldn't say much yet.

"You're a natural." I glanced to Molly not even realizing the large grin on my face.

"I have never been around a baby. I never had the chance nor did I want to." I feared I would contaminate the pure soul.

"Well, what ever is the case, you would be a good mother one day." I froze at Molly's words. Flashes of green forests and giggles, red and brown blurs and freckled faces crossed my vision. A dream I never thought I could possibly have.

I resumed my rocking as I looked out the doorless doorway to the fountain beyond where Bellamy stood taking with someone.

"Maybe-maybe one day."

We fell back into silence as the beautiful baby slept peacefully in my arms. This tiny, pure creature in the arms of a bloodstained Titan.

Nine years earlier I wouldn't have even taken her in my arms. But eight years on earth has done wonders for my compassion.

I know now that this is the second step to finding out I did in fact have a heart. A heart that wasn't made out of stone.