Persphyni: I am Determined

29

"Seda! Seda! Wake up! Wake up!" I felt hands on my shoulders pushing and pulling as I was shook from my slumber. My eyes blinked open to see the face of an excited nine year old peering down at me.

I smiled weakly as I rolled from the large cocoon of pillows and blankets the three of us had been sharing. Madi had wanted to have a camp out under the stars so I could tell her the stories of each individual one. I could hardly pass up the chance to stargaze.

Clarke was still sleeping, totally unfazed by the soft screeching of the child in front of me. My eyes rolled as I watched the blonde flip over and curl further into her pillow and blanket.

"Why are you so excited Madi? It's," I paused, looking into the canopy of trees, "not even nine in the morning." The little brunette was buzzing with energy as she hopped around smiling.

"Don't you remember? You said you were going to teach me how to climb trees!" I laughed at her small squeal as she tried to stay quiet for Clarke's sake. I remembered her mentioning her lack of climbing ability so I told her we'd do something one day this week. It's the end of the week and I haven't taught her how to climb a tree.

It's funny how excited she's getting over climbing a tree. And even more funny that she grew up on earth yet doesn't know how to climb a tree. But after I swung down and scared the daylights out of Clarke a few months ago, Madi had been begging me non-stop to teach her.

"Okay. But we have to hurry. We'll surprise Clarke." Madi agreed energetically as she and I began to jog away from the camping ground. Hopefully Clarke sleeps for a little longer.

_______•*•*•*•_______

"Shit. Shit. Shit. Clarke!" I hollered as I approached her sleeping form on the blankets. She stirred but didn't wake as I continued to approach her. "Clarke! Wake up! It's Madi!" Her eyes shot awake as she turned to look at me. Her mama bear instincts going off.

"What happened? Where is she? Is she okay?" I would have laughed at Clarke's motherly instinct if I wasn't sticking to the plan.

"No. I don't know where she went. I had followed her tracks but all of a sudden they came to a dead end." Clarke stood worried and began to make her way over to me.

"Let's go." I nodded seriously, masking my delight as she followed me into the forest. Too easy.

I guided her to a clutter of trees where Madi's tracks stopped. The purposeful marks left deep in the mud flew over Clarke's head as she began to panic. Her eyes looking at the different ways Madi could have gone. All but one.

Clarke was so distracted by her own thoughts that she never noticed the soft rustling of leaves nor the steady crunch of boots on bark.

"Okay. Think. She came here and now she's not." Her back was to me as she kept murmuring to herself. A smirk on my lips as I shot a wink up at the forest canopy above Clarke's head.

"What the hell is that!" I shouted pointing towards Clarke. The blonde's head snapped towards me shock plastered on her face at my uncharacteristic dramatic yell.

Clarke's eyes widened as she saw I was pointing her way. Her body once again turning, this time away from me as she looked in the direction of my finger. I took this as my chance. I turned and took a running start at the large tree behind me.

I jumped and my hands caught purchase on a top limp as I swung my momentum up into a split in the trunk where I leaned back on the furthest bit to watch the show.

"Pers, I don't see anything-" she trailed off, looking behind her. "Pers?" Her voice pitched, worry evident as I climbed out of eye sight. My hand over my mouth as I laughed silently.

"Oh this isn't good. Oh gosh." The panic set in and I saw her hands shaking. "Shh. Stop. Breathe, Clarke." I stifled a laugh at her self instruction. Her eyes shut as she breathed in before releasing it out.

"Okay. Okay. We're good. We're good." She mumbled under her breath. Her body turning back towards the way I had pointed.

"Boo!" Her back was straight before she leaped off the ground and landed straight on her ass.

The shriek leaving her lips echoed through the forest and silenced the birds. My laughter slipped from my hands and the loud giggles of Madi reverberated through the trees. Clarke's hand held her chest as her heart beat rapidly.

The blonde was plastered on the forest floor as Madi hung upside down in the tree her laughter shaking her body as I chuckled amused. It wasn't as good as mine but she did good.

I watched as Clarke finally comprehended what had happen and began to laugh. I smiled as I leaned on the trunk of the tree. Things were going to be alright.

"Just two more years Bell. Two more."

But my whisper wasn't heard.

_______•*•*•*•_______

"No. Monty, you have to have an arm guard to block the punch to your face." The boy-genius huffed and rolled his eyes.

"This is pointless. I'm not a fighter. I'm more of the tech guy, the one behind the scenes who has the fancy mic piece." Everyone face-palmed. Harper wincing at her boyfriend's comment.

"Babe. As much as I love the idea of you never getting into the fray, at some point it will inevitably happen. And maybe it isn't some life or death situation. But you got to make sure you don't get knocked out if someone starts a fist fight." Harper talked logical sense to Monty. His will fading as he nodded. She was right. Of course she was.

"You're right. I'm sorry. I just," he paused glancing at Bellamy, "felt like this would be different. And with..." Monty stopped talking as the words caught in his throat. The action similar to the first round of Algae he had made and tried to digest. "Nevermind. Okay." Monty shook his head and his arms out shaking the sorrow out with his actions. "Let's do this. Bellamy."

The curly male only advanced, shaking his arms, not saying a word as he too kept it all inside.

Part of him wishes this was Persphyni across from him. Then he knew he could get everything out. All his anger, frustration, sadness, disappointment, and heartache could just be released. Hell, he may even get praise for managing to hurt her.

Sure he'd feel guilty if he hurt her like he had in the dropship, but atleast she would still be here. Right in front of him, within arms reach.

She would be alive. Here with him. And she would have stopped him from being an idiot. She would have kept Murphy on this side of the ship.
She would have helped and encouraged Raven instead of constantly asking her about the fuel.

She would have sparred with the group everyday. Kicking all of their asses into shape. She would have helped Monty and Harper with the Algae farm. She would have fought to go on space walks with Raven and Emori. She would have laughed and joked with Murphy. I think she may have still thrown Echo overboard. Or maybe she would have found an acquaintance in the Spy.

She would have been there to hold on cold nights. To help fight away each other's demons. She would have helped run this Ring like a leader and friend should. She would have put me in my place then told me some silly remark that had me questioning reality. She would have had me on one knee if she pleased.

But she's not here. And she'll never be.

The only reason I want to make it back to earth is to tell Kane and Octavia what happened. So that they know she died a hero.

My hero.

And then I can join her.