Persphyni: I am Determined

26

Sunlight bled through the black canvas material around my eyes as the large wooden pole of bamboo crashed onto mine. My hands tightened around my staff and pushed upwards to break the connection before spinning away.

A smirk sat on my lips as the little girl grinned deviously. Her feet already moving as she swung high and slid low, attempting to sweep my feet from under me.

I felt the wind shift and heard her breathing as she softly impacted the floor with her body. The sound alerting me of her movement.

I jumped backwards and caught her wooden staff and twisted high, pulling the bamboo from her grasp and shooting it straight into the air. The soft whirl of it spiraling came closer as it felt downwards.

Down, down, down, until I stopped it's descent. My right hand raised as I caught the bamboo and spun it around in my hand before slamming both staffs to the ground.

"What did I tell you about underestimating your opponents?" I asked as I stared in her direction with my eyes still covered by the blindfold.

She didn't respond. I listened closely as the soft crunching of dirt signaled she was standing up.

I tensed and braced myself as I knew where this was going. It's why I kept the blindfold on to address her instead of taking it off. I tossed the bamboo staff in her direction before spinning mine to get a better grip.

"Again."

Madi swung downwards, hoping to catch me off guard and knock my staff from my hands. But my grip was too tight. I absorbed the impact and twisted towards her. Locking her staff with mine before swinging my leg into the bamboo and hooking it backwards. Once again pulling the staff from her hands. The staff rolled behind me as I rested my staff on the ground, slightly leaning into it as I just kept looking in her direction.

My silence bugging her out as she replayed the last several actions. I gave her a few more seconds to determine if she was going to continue or not. And when she didn't make a move, I pulled my blindfold off.

"Your grip is too lose. You need a happy medium. Too tight will lock your wrists and minimize your swing power. Too loose and your weapon gets stolen in a flash." Madi nodded as she wiped her forehead. Sweat dripping from her pours as the sun blasted down on the sand. I had taken her outside of Eden to show her the world outside of the green haven.

Clarke hadn't wanted me to, but Madi has been with us for two years now. She may be a child but she wasn't a little kid anymore. She was eight years old living on earth. It was now or never.

"I'm teaching you these things because inevitably there will be a day when you need to know this. There will come a day when the peace we know in Eden isn't kept. When we break that bunker open, I worry that their days out of the sunlight may corrupt their mind to return to the ways of the clans once they taste freedom. When that happens, I will fight but I cannot be there to protect you or Clarke every step off the way. You're still young, but you're ready to begin the next phase of training."

Madi perked up at the idea as I turned and grabbed her bamboo staff.

"These next few years are going to be hard. It won't just be hour segments. Each day will be a new challenge and I'm going to break you down until you don't think you can push anymore. At that point that is when you have to push the hardest. Getting through the hardest incline is going to get you stronger for when you have to face hurdles. I need confirmation now that you are ready for this type of training." Madi pondered the proposal. This was another reason why I brought her out here. If Clarke heard any of this she would shut it down in a snap of her fingers.

"What about Clarke? Did she say this was okay?" I stabbed the wooden staff into the sand and looked into her brown eyes.

"Clarke has no idea about this proposal. If you are to take the proposition then she will not be told anything about it until you're older. As far as she knows we are still training at the most basic level. I think you're passed that." And basics are boring but they do good to be fundamentally sound. Not to mention going back to the basics has helped me refocus on myself.

Madi's arms wrapped around me as she gave me a grateful hug. My arms circled her shoulders as I squeezed her back.

"Thank you, Seda." Our relationship was less parental and more teacher-student like. Hence the honorific.

"Thank you, Madi." My words were a soft whisper as I looked out into the clearing as she held my legs captive in her hug. My eyes foggy as a shadowy form of Lincoln stood across from me. His hands hung by his sides as he dipped his head in greeting. His head which had no bullet hole through it.

I mimicked his action and closed my eyes as I bowed my head before looking up and finding empty space.

After I saw his outline I knew that he'd be one of the main characters in my dreams tonight. I guarantee you that tonight I'll dream of Lincoln kneeling in that mud his head high and his body strong as I ran away.

I don't want to go to sleep tonight. Not when I know it will be just like every other night for the past year. They haven't ended. And I'm exhausted. The only way to rest is to bare through the dream but the nightmares always win.

I try so hard to be strong. But as soon as I go to sleep. As soon as my guard is down, it's game over for me.

I hope that maybe I'll see you tonight instead of Lincoln. Maybe then I'll get some peace. Or maybe I won't dream at all.

It has been a while since I've looked at the stars. Are they still shining beautifully? What about the moon? Does it still glow?

In time, Bell.
Pers