Imagines with Niall Horan

79. Reasons

"I cannot believe that you are doing this right now," he hissed.

"Right now is as good a time as any, isn't it?"

Niall seethed. "No, it is not. And even if you weren't being crazy right now, do you really think that this is the appropriate time for this discussion?"

You broke eye contact and looked around at the other people in the restaurant. "This is the only time I've seen you. When we're home we're either pretending to be asleep or fighting. We need to talk about this."

"Talk about what?" Niall said unconvincingly, picking up the menu.

"Niall."

"Mmm."

"Niall, look at me. Please."

He did, after a pause. Your voice was quiet.

"I'm going to ask you something, and I want you to tell me the truth. Not what you want to be the truth, not what you think I want to hear, okay?"

There was silence. You nodded.

"Are you done with this?"

"What do you mean?"

"Do you want this... us... are you done with us? Because it seems -"

"No, I -"

"Let me finish." You seemed tired, and there were shadows under your eyes. "I love you. I still love you. But we need to not lie to ourselves here, Niall. Something isn't right, and... I need to know if you want to fix it. Because if we're going to do this then... we need to do it."

His eyes were starting to water. "I -"

"You need to decide if we're worth fighting for. I know my answer, but... take your time."

"I don't need time, I -"

"This is important to me. Is it important to you?"

His voice was certain, filled with intensity. "Of course."

"Then take time anyway. Take a day, take two. Just..." you closed your eyes. "I'm trying to do what's right here, and it's hard, because all I want to do is kiss you, and say everything will be fine. But it won't. I need you to want this, Niall. I need you to want us."

"I'd -"

You stood, pulling out your wallet and laying a few bills down on the table. "I'm going to stay with Nicola tonight. I'll... I'll come by tomorrow after class, and... call me, okay? If you... if you decide anything, or you need to talk..."

He blinked at you. You hesitated, then, as you passed the table on your way out pressed a quick kiss to your boyfriend's head. "I love you. And I'll make it work. Whatever you want, I'll try. For you."

You disappeared before Niall could respond.

-

An hour later, you got a text message.

4:30pm: 'As you know I don't know my own mind without some kind of quietness, I am now going to spend the next twenty four hours spamming your inbox with some of the reasons why I want this to work. Starting now.'

4:32pm: 'I love you. That's a big one.'

4:34pm: 'I love the way it makes me feel when you walk into a room and your eyes immediately look for me, because I matter to you.'

4:37pm: 'I love that your hand fits in mine like it's more than just a coincidence.'

4:43pm: 'I love that you always forget to buy lotion, so you have to use mine.'