22. You break up before Christmas

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I was really inspired because this literally happened to me, minus Niall Horan, unfortunately.

A song that really helped me write this was All Too Well by Taylor Swift.

-

I had no idea what the hell I was doing at the store on Christmas Eve. What part of my insane mind decided to buy him a Christmas present?

I had no liberty in doing this, anyway. I mean, last month was a different case. Last month we thought we were going to spend the holidays together, after all... and he always bragged about how "amazing and spectacular" my Christmas present was going to be.

Some part in my mind almost wished he would follow through with his gift, but I knew better. It was a messy breakup. I wouldn't be surprised if he threw the gift away.

What do you get the man that was once your everything? Cologne? A wallet? A belt?

After getting more and more miserable as I walked through the mall, I decided to get him a leather wallet. He needed one anyway - he was always too stubborn to buy a new one. My heart hurt at the memory.

I took a deep breath. All I needed to do was to fill out a card, wrap the damn wallet, and mail it to him. Then I can spend my Christmas with myself, just like I was so used to doing anyway.

/

Pathetic, incredibly pathetic.

This was probably the most stupid moment I've ever had in my life. My foot didn't seem to agree with me as I pressed the pedal and drove to his house. Okay, breathe.

I would just ring the doorbell, drop the gift, and run. It was closure that I needed.

I gripped the steering wheel tightly before finally growing up and actually leaving the car. I couldn't see him. I found it easier to forget everything we had been through when I completely shut him off from my life. Just drop it and go.

I neared his doorstep and put the pathetic piece of gift on his doormat. I couldn't do anything else, though. I couldn't even reach the doorbell. This was a bad idea. He didn't want me anymore. It didn't matter.

I heard the lock click on the other side and before I could do anything else, he was standing in front of me. I almost started to panic. I hadn't seen him in two weeks - the most I've been away from him since we started dating a year ago. Even then, we didn't get together until after Christmas. I guess Christmas was just never our thing.

"Y/N?" He whispered. He looked nice. He was dressed in sweats and his Nike's. I saw him shiver. "Would you like to come in?"

I shook my head because if I did, I knew it would just be back to the same old feelings I tried so hard to store away. The break up was for good. "I got you a gift," I murmured.

I watched as his blue eyes were cast down on the doormat, where the gift lay. This was not a good idea. "Merry Christmas." I turned around and started to walk to my car.

"Wait, Y/N -"

"Niall, don't." I said, looking him again in the eyes. Not now... Even if we weren't together, I had to thank him in some way. He did give me the best moments I've ever experienced in my life. It just wasn't the right time... if we were meant to be together, we would be together. But that shouldn't happen for a while, at least.

Was my heart hurting? Immensely. It was a new kind of pain to put all those memories that we shared behind us, in order for us to move on. It wasn't a fairy tale - it was reality and I had to face it. I wasn't fine, but I was okay and for now, that was all I needed.

/

So yeah, I had to get that out. This update hit close to home more than I realized but that's okay, I won't be bitter about it. The next updates will definitely go back to the cute pattern. I'm open to suggestions!

Thank you for voting and reading.

Have a great day or night!

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