"If you want to pull a relatively harmless prank then the Weasley snowstorm is your best bet. Just press down on this horn here and it'll dispense real snow for about an hour." I pick up one of the Weasley snowstorms from the shelf and hand it to the couple that I've been helping for the past five or so minutes.
"Real snow? Like it will melt?" The guy says.
"Yeah, it'll melt. But we also have a great line of products that help clean up after a prank if you'll follow me." I lead the two wizards past the big cage of Pygmy Puffs that Cassie is stationed at, showing a few of the new pups to some younger kids.
"This is what you'll want right here," I say taking a small box off of the shelf, "The 'honey I flooded the bathroom'. Super easy to use, just pull this little tab here and set it on the floor of the flooded room. It'll suck up all the water, leaving everything as dry as it was before. Then just chuck it into the bin and you'll be set. Actually, it's recyclable so toss it into the recycling and you're golden."
"Thank you so much for your help!" The girl says taking the box out of my hands.
I smile big, "Of course, head on over to the cash over there and Ophelia will be able to ring you up." I point over to Ophelia who is working hard beside Annabeth as they try to keep up with the number of people that are buying stuff today.
April fools is one of our busiest days so it's understandable that we are slammed right now. When we opened our door at nine, which was a little later than we normally do but Mum made Dad a big breakfast for his birthday. He stopped celebrating his birthday after Uncle Fred died, but once I was born he started celebrating again. He still doesn't really like to make it a big deal so it's normally just a big breakfast, and the family over once the shops closed.
"S'cuse me?" A girl's voice says from behind me.
I turn around and smile at her, I recognize her from Hogwarts, she's a few years older than me, in Hufflepuff, I think. "Hi! How can I help you today?" I say in my customer service voice.
"Hi, oh wow, this is really awkward? But I was wondering where you keep the uhm, love potions?" She says it quietly which makes it hard to hear her through the loud music and laughter in the shop.
A Whizbang flies past my ear and a few young kids chase after it howling with laughter, "Love potions are up on the second floor with all the WonderWitch products. It's hideously pink, can't miss it."
"Thanks!" She smiles before rushing off to the staircase.
Someone wolf whistles loudly by the front door. I turn away from the shelf that I really should be tidying and see Amar and Louis standing near the front of the shop. They both make eye contact with me and smile like idiots.
"There he is ladies and gentlemen! Hogwarts boy of the month!" Amar shouts through the store. A few customers look over at us but they go right back to whatever it is that they've come to the shop to do.
"What the hell are you on about?" I say giving each of them a handshake and a hug.
Amar pulls out his phone and opens magicked, "You've seen what girls in our year have been doing? Making polls on magicked to figure out who the boy of the month is?"
"Sort of? I don't really use my phone all that much." I say awkwardly. I look around the store to make sure that Mum and Dad aren't around. Not that they don't let me socialize with my friends when they stop by the store, but if they saw Lou here they might make him hop on cash or something.
"Well, it was decided. You're the new boy of the month. It was between you, Lou, and James for a while like it always is but you managed to come through." Amar turns his phone to me so I can see. On the not so official Hogwarts account, there's a picture of me smiling like an idiot and waving to someone's camera as I skateboard past them in some corridor at Hogwarts.
"Do I really look like that? Gross." I say which makes Lou and Amar laugh.
"You think you could skip out on the rest of your workday Weasley?" Amar says, "We can go flirt with that hot innkeeper at the Leaky Cauldron till she kicks us out?"
"Oh wow, watch my two best friends be so horribly straight that they flirt with a girl while she's working. Sounds like a great way to spend my day." Louis grumbles.
"I would man but it's April Fools, Mum and Dad aren't going to let me go anywhere." I think for a second, "We are having the family around tonight for my Dad's not a party, birthday party if you're still around?"
"Nah man I can't. My Mum's shopping all day and she's gonna drag me home soon."
"Yeah Mum and Dad brought me, Vic, and Dom down here to find Uncle George a present last minute, I saw Amar and we ditched our other responsibilities to come see your dumbass."
"Though I really wish we stayed with your sisters Lou. Victoire is just, ugh you know?" Amar says I swear his pupils turn into little hearts when he's talking about Victoire.
"No." Louis and I say at the same time."
The door opens again and Dominique comes into the shop looking very unimpressed, "You can't hide at the fucking shop all day! Mamon and Papa sent me to come get your raggedy-ass, we're going for lunch."
"Ooh, can I come?" Amar says to Dom.
She looks him up and down and scrunches her nose up in disgust, "Who the fuck are you?" She says which makes Lou and I laugh.
"My favourite niece and nephew!" Dad says coming out of nowhere, "Here to help?"
"Sorry Uncle George, we've gotta go meet Mamon and Papa," Dom says before dragging Lou out of the shop.
Amar leaves shortly after, not before telling Dad all about my new titles of Hogwarts boy of the month though.
"You know, if that was a thing when I was at Hogwarts, I totally would have won," Dad says as we close the shop at the end of the day.
"If what was a thing at Hogwarts?" Mum says from the first-floor balcony. She looks over the railing at Dad and me below as she adds more Won Won's Bon Bons to the sweets bar.
"Hogwarts boy of the month! Freddie here has managed to convince his entire year that he is the best boy this month." Dad shouts through the store.
"Our little Freddie Bear? Little snuggly bear sweetie pie?" Ophelia says as she drags a big trash bag out from behind the counters. "I bet if I were at Hogwarts this year, I would have won."
"One, you're not in fifth year, two, you are not a boy?" I say to her.
Ophelia looks at me, "That's what you think." She says with a wink before dragging the trash towards the back door.
"Have you seen that muggle family that is a band?" Theo says randomly, coming out of the storage room with a box of Ginevra's Boogey Bats (which aren't actually made of boogey's they're just green biscuits shaped like bats).
"Do you know how many muggle families have started a band?" Cassie says to him, she's feeding the Pygmy Puffs bits of carrot instead of actually helping close the shop.
"I just thought it would be cool if we did that! Like Cassie can play piano, Leah can sing..."
"Freddie can stand there and be pretty, Hogwarts thinks he's good at that," Ophelia says coming back from the trash.
"I've got an idea for a new product Dad, Ophelia's Bludger babies. Shaped like a baby doll but the head doubles as a bludger when you're in a pinch. Sold with a helmet." I say to her.
Ophelia looks at me hard, "I know that you're trying to make fun of me, but that's actually a pretty great idea. We can sell them with the toy brooms, and the candy beater bats."
Dad smiles like an idiot, "See Vi? This is why I wanted to have so many kids! They're little geniuses each and every one of them." He shouts through the shop before grabbing onto me and pulls me into his side before kissing the top of my head.
"If Leah's getting a product named after her then I want one too!" Annie shouts from the very top floor.
"Yeah me too!" Theo adds.
Dad laughs, "You'll all get one don't worry your little heads about that... Vi darling are you just about finished up there?"
Mom pops her head out from around the sweets bar, "Yeah we're good G. They can head upstairs and get dressed for tonight. Something appropriate please!" Mum shouts as we all run up the stairs back into the flat.
When we get upstairs Aunt Hermione, Rose, and Hugo are already in our living room. Ophelia makes an inhuman squealing noise and throws herself at Rose, "I missed your ugly face!" She says loudly.
They go off into Ophelia's room no doubt going to talk about all the shit that has been going on at Hogwarts. Cass looks a little hurt, but she just says a polite hello to Aunt Hermione before heading into her room to get changed.
By the time I'm changed and back in the living room Mum and Dad are sitting on the couch with Aunt Hermione, Uncle Ron, Uncle Percy, and Aunt Audrey, each of them drinking a butterbeer and laughing loudly. I head into the kitchen to get myself a cup of water and bump into Molly.
"I haven't, you know... told Mum and Dad so if you wouldn't say anything..." Molly says quietly. I bring her into the kitchen so we are away from everyone.
"You don't have to remind me not to tell people, dude. You're good. But, when Lou and I sneak off to smoke a joint just cover for us yeah?"
"What? I – fine just this one time Freddie." She says before going back into the living room with everyone else.
A few hours later and the flat is completely full of Weasleys, Potters, and Malfoys, music playing, loud conversations. The perfect time to sneak downstairs and smoke.
"Bro my Mum has been shoving family down my throat all week. It's like I can't even go to bed without the entire family there." Lou says to me as we are heading down the stairs we can still hear the noise of our family upstairs.
"Okay, but did your girlfriend's Mum call your Dad your dead Uncle's name after an already awkward dinner?" I say which makes both of us laugh.
As soon as I open the door at the bottom of the stairs all we can hear is moaning.
"What the fuck?" Louis whispers, covering his mouth with both of his hands.
"OI! Who the fuck is shagging in my shop!" I shout, not daring to walk out of the stairwell and be forced to see whatever it is that's going on.
"shit, shit, shit, shit!" Scorpius says from behind the door.
My eyes go wide, "Scorpius!? Albus!? Are you fucking kidding me!?" I pull open the door just as Albus is doing up his pants and Scorpius is getting to his feet.
Louis bursts into a fit of laughter, "This cannot be happening. This is not happening right now." He manages to say through his giggles.
Albus and Scorpius are both blushing furiously, looking as awkward as I must feel right now, "I – in my shop guys?" I say again.
"We – didn't expect anyone to come down here because we all came by Floo Powder," Albus says awkwardly.
Louis laughs even harder, "yeah, that part is obvious."
"Just – there's cleaning supplies under the counter. I can't process this right now." I say walking past them and going down the stairs to the ground floor of the shop. Louis has not stopped giggling.
"Did that just happen?" I say to him, pulling out the joint and a lighter from my pants pocket once we are outside of the shop.
Louis laughs loudly, "Yeah, that just fucking happened."
"In my shop dude!"
"I mean... you can't tell me that you haven't thought about it."