As the atom bomb locks in
Oh it's you I watch TV with
As the world, as the world caves in
Warning: This chapter will briefly mention self harm
"You found a what?" Zayn said with wide eyes, his hand still frozen on the door.
It probably wasn't a good idea I was telling him this at nine in the morning after none of us got sleep. I couldn't wait any longer, I was eating myself up just sitting in the room.
He looks tired, and worn out. I knew I woke him from my sleep, but I was pretty sure he would want to know about this as soon as possible.
I tried to deal with it myself, and the help of Harry but it was too much for us. It's not your every day where you walk into your hotel room and trip over a dead body.
"Zayn are you going to do this every time something bad happens?" Harry said, sounding very annoyed as he stood next to me. "This isn't a fucking thriller movie."
I snapped my head to Harry, elbowing his in the ribs making him groan and drop his jaw. I gave him a death stare before he mumbled a 'whatever' and crossed his hands over his chest.
"It's not every day where people find out that their best friend found a dead body, Harry." I said, rolling my eyes at him before looking at Zayn again.
"I'm not his best friend." Harry put up and I just felt that stupid anger Harry caused me start to build up.
It wasn't a bad anger, I actually enjoyed it most of the time. Just not now and in a situation like this.
"I know you aren't," I blatantly lied, not even trying at this point. "I am."
I gave him a fake innocent smile, making him shake his head at me in disappointment. I couldn't believe that he genuinely didn't think he was Zayn's best friend.
Sometimes Harry's obliviousness concerns me. He's apparently as blind as a bat in the head, he should get some glasses to solve that problem.
"You know it, teeny," Zayn winked at me, standing up from against the door. "Are you going to explain about what you just woke me up to tell me?"
About that, Zayn. I haven't got a fucking clue what it's about, that is why we are here.
"Late last night Harry and I were..." I started to speak, but decided I probably shouldn't include details. "We went back to his hotel room and I tripped over something. He was fucking laughing about it until he turned the lights on."
"Okay I didn't think that's what you fucking tripped over!" Harry snapped, raising his hands defensively. I couldn't stop myself from letting out a little giggle at his reactions.
If he tripped over a dead body I would laugh at him too, I'm not even going to lie. It would be funny as fuck.
"So you're telling me you trip over a corpse?" Zayn asked, sounding way more concerned than I thought he would be.
"Yes," I winced at the words. "The more you think about it the crazier it gets."
I don't know why I was trying to make this situation lighter by joking about it. Maybe it's because deep down I know this is some bad shit?
From being followed, to kidnapped, to being followed even more and now finding a body. There's no way this isn't connected to these unnamed people, and that's why we need Zayn.
"Well did you do something with the body?" Zayn asked, glancing at Harry like he was waiting for him to speak about this.
It was like he knew something I didn't. Maybe it had to do with their meeting they had with Desmond the other day? Harry came back really wound up from it and wouldn't speak much.
But in all honesty he wasn't speaking much to me at all that night. I guess me sneaking into Desmond's hotel room wasn't what he had planned.
At least I found more fucking information. It's more than what we had before and I think it could help us now.
"No," Harry deadpanned, and I furrowed my eyebrows at him. "It's sitting in the room sprawled across the kitchen floor still."
Oh, I see how this is going.
"What-" Zayn shot his eyes open letting out a gasp. "Are you two fucking idiots?"
I knew Harry was getting a kick out of this one, but in my opinion it is just plain old rude. Okay, maybe it's a bit funny.
"Of course we took care of the body," I spoke up, watching Zayn's face instantly flood with relief. "Stop being so mean, Harry. This is serious."
Very late at night was when we took care of that body. It would probably be considered early morning at that point because it was nearly five in the morning. It wasn't mine or Harry's first rodeo, so it didn't take much time.
"I'm well aware this is serious, Indiana," Harry said, mocking me with an American accent. "Are you going to let us in or do we just have to stand here?"
I swear Harry and I fight like an old couple more and more as the days pass. Is that a bad thing?
It sucks that I feel this way, I just don't know what's normal and what's not. Nothing is normal with us, so I don't know why I expect this relationship to be normal too. It's already way past that.
"Fuck didn't mean to be rude by forgetting to invite you in, king," Zayn said sarcastically, widening the door so we could slip through. "I got a bit distracted by you guys waking me up to let you know someone showed up in your room."
I stepped through the doorway, Harry walking behind me before Zayn shut the door. I took a deep breath, trying to collect myself as I made my way through the room.
Zayn's room was messier than usual. There was some leftover food laying out, weed, and even a bottle of alcohol. He's usually the tidy one of the five boys.
"Rough night last night?" I joked as I stepped through the kitchen area, making my way to the table.
I could tell that in his room there were clothes sprawled everywhere. Not being one to judge but it looks like me may have been a little busy with someone last night. Good for him.
"Something like that." He let out a nervous chuckle, running his hand over the back of his neck.
I glanced at Harry, hoping he would initiate this conversation on why we were here, but it looked like something else had his attention. His eyes were fixed on something on the table, and I watched as he made a puzzled face.
It was a mix of something I couldn't quite point out. It almost looked like hurt or confusion, maybe even worried.
"What the fuck is this?" Harry's voice was a bit louder and more aggressive as he took a step forward.
I moved out of his way so he could storm past me before he reached for something on the table. I couldn't quite tell what it was until he held it up between his fingers.
"Is this what I think it is?" His voice sounded hurt as he held up to Zayn who had a look of panic written across his face. "Z."
A blade.
I know what it is, and I think it hurt me just as much as it hurt Harry.
"I-" Zayn started to back himself quickly but his voice cracked before he could even get a word out. "I can explain."
It hurt me to see Zayn that way. To see him in the exact same position I have before, and I'm sure Harry has too.
This hurt Harry. It hurt him bad, I can see it behind his eyes. He really cared about Zayn even though he doesn't say it.
"You told me you wouldn't do that shit again!" Harry snapped, and I could feel the pain in his voice.
My heart broke for both of them. Zayn looked like he had just lost something, and Harry looked like he had been betrayed. Somehow, they both seemed so honest and raw through it all.
"I didn't!" Zayn responded quickly, raising his hands in the air. "I swear, I didn't hurt myself."
I felt like I was getting whiplash from this. Going back and forth between looking at both of them, and feeling so hurt for Zayn.
He told me he had struggled before but that he was better now. I thought he was doing good, but was I just too focused on myself and everything going on that I missed his warning signs.
"Then why do you have this?" Harry asked, holding up the blade for Zayn to see. "You promised.. you promised I wouldn't have to do that again."
Harry's voice broke at his last words, and I felt my heart sink. I've never seen Harry this open about his feelings around Zayn.
"I'm sorry," Zayn said quietly, and I could see the tears welling up in his eyes. "I didn't think about how it'd affect you. I was just having a bad night, I didn't hurt myself."
This was one of the first times I had ever heard Zayn speak so seriously. He wasn't making any jokes, he was emotional with his eyes.
"I.. it's okay," Harry said softly and I watched Zayn's eyes widen like he was surprised by his words. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to act out, I just need a minute."
Zayn gave Harry a nod and I watched as Harry gave him a soft smile before leaving the room. The door clicked shut softly, and I just felt stuck in my place. I didn't know what to do.
What I did know was that I'm proud of Harry. He recognized that he had acted out and knew when to stop. Harry was able to admit how he felt.
As for Zayn, my heart just feels empty. The mere thought of Zayn hurting himself just makes me want to shrivel up and cry. I wish I could take all his pain away.
"C'mere," I said shyly to Zayn, opening my arms from him. "Don't ever make me that sad again, big."
He took the few steps, opening his arms to wrap around me before closing the space between us. It was like the other hugs we've had before, but this time it was me comforting him.
I could hear him sniffle which made me sad that he was crying. His arms were wrapped around me tightly as I held him.
He needed this, I could tell. It was like he hadn't had a good hug or comfort from someone in awhile. We all need it sometimes, and I will always be there for Zayn.
Like how he helped me in my darkest times.
"I'm sorry," He let out a choked sob against my shoulder as my hand rubbed up and down his back. "I didn't want to make Harry mad."
"Don't you dare apologize for this," I warned, pulling back from the hug. "He would have never dared to do something like that and lash out over someone three months ago. He cares so much about you, Zayn, he was just worried."
"I know," Zayn said, giving me a short nod. "I've never seen him like that before. It made me happy knowing he cared."
"He cares so much, he would be lost without you." I said honestly. Even the few times I've seen them genuinely be serious with each other, just that short time shows me how much they mean to each other.
"Thank you," He whispered softly, pulling me in for another short hug. "Thank you for being here. Thank you for opening Harry. And thank you for helping me."
"Zayn, you have been there for me through so much," I said, being very serious. "You are the only person I can come to about my darkest things. I need you, I could never lose you."
Three months ago I wouldn't even consider the thought of having friends, or someone I talked to outside of River or Hugo. Here I am, I'm happier than I have ever been even though this mess.
I wouldn't trade it for the world.
I pulled Zayn in for one last hug, whispering those few words he's said to me so many times. It's like it had become our words, we said it when we knew we needed it.
"I won't worry you guys again," Zayn said, wiping the few tears away from his eyes. "I promise."
"Good, I'm going to go check on Harry real quick." Zayn gave me a nod, and I started to make my way out of the room. I knew Harry wouldn't be far, he just needed a break.
There he was. Right when I swung the door open, he was crouched on the ground against the wall across from Zayn's room.
"Harry," I said softly, walking towards him so I could crouch down in front of him. "What's wrong, baby?"
I don't know why I said the nickname, but I did and it caught his attention. My hand was on his knee as he lifted his head slowly to reveal his bloodshot eyes.
Was he crying?
"I couldn't take it anymore," His voice was hoarse as he spoke. "I can't see him like that again?"
I felt confused on what he was talking about. Was it seeing Zayn struggling?
"You can't see him like what?" I asked, giving his hand a squeeze.
"I can't walk in and see him unconscious and feel that panic that he's dead again." Harry's eyes diverted away from me, looking off at the wall like he was scared to look me in the eyes and say it.
I felt my mouth open and I couldn't process the thought. Harry had to witness that, see his best friend like that.
That's why he was worrying so much, and rightfully so. I don't think I had ever been so upset about anything more than this. My heart aches for both Harry and Zayn.
I could never imagine that. Seeing your best friend in that state. The amount of guilt and blame one must feel after that is unimaginable.
You think about it, and to us we are used to that. A body is a body, that is our daily job. Never in a million years does anything ever compare to that.
I know what it feels like to see your loved one die, I've watched it happen right in front of me twice. It is the worst feeling in the world.
"Come here, baby," I whispered just barely so he could hear, my eyes welling with tears. "It's okay."
I was sitting next to Harry against the wall, his body falling into mine as he cried. My arms wrapped around him tightly, my fingers tangling in his hair to soothe him.
His body was rocking back and forth slowly, and I just held him. I held him like I would never let go, because I didn't want to let go. I wanted to hold him forever.
The way his body melted and curled into mine always mesmerized me. It was like we were two puzzle pieces fitting together. We were no longer two broken souls, our broken pieces fit each other.
We were just trying to survive, our lives broken and teared apart, but somehow along the way we met each other. We tried fixing one another.. and somehow along the way I earned a piece of him within me.
"I can't see that again," Harry cried out, his eyes meeting mine. "I can't lose Zayn. I need him."
"You aren't going to lose, Zayn." I reassured him with a nod. "He's okay, he just had a rough night. We all have our bad nights, right?"
Harry gave me a timid nod, and I planted a soft kiss to his forehead. I hated seeing him so worked up like this, I wish he could just be happy forever.
"I'm okay," Harry said, taking a deep breath but when he spoke it was almost as if he was reassuring himself. "Can we let it go?"
He looked worried when he asked, like I'd say no and force him to keep talking about it. He's opened up so much about his feelings right now, I would never make him talk about something he's uncomfortable with.
"Yep," I said quickly, with a soft smile. "I'm proud of you, do you know that?"
I stood up, my hand holding his to guide him up. He looked shy when I told him that. His cheeks flushed a light shade of pink and his head tilted down.
Harry looked really cute when he was shy. The small smile that he tried to hide showcasing his dimples. I love his dimples, they're so bright and a piece of him.
"Thank you," He said, standing up and pressing a kiss to my lips. "Let's go get back on track."
He went to turn away from me, but I stopped him. I pulled him back towards me, cupping his face with my hands.
I brushed away the few tears that had fallen down his cheeks, just taking in every feature of his. I pushed my lips against his softly, capturing his lips between mine.
It was soft and full of nothing other than wanting to appreciate each other. The way his lips molded against mine perfectly never failed to amaze me.
I pulled away from him, grabbing his hand in mine so we could go back to the room. Our fingers entwined as we entered the room.
Zayn was sitting at the kitchen table, perking up when he heard the door open. I gave him a short nod and smile letting him know everything was okay and we didn't have to talk about it anymore. He understood and just watched as we sat at the table.
"Back to work," I let out a light laugh, twisting the ring on my finger. "Um we were wondering if you would help us, Zayn."
It felt awkward now, and I hated it. There was tension coming from both situations and I just wanted it to go away.
"Yeah, I'm always open to help." He said sternly, running his hand over his chin. "What do you need help with?"
I glanced at Harry, cocking my head to show him what we found. I don't know how much help it will be, but with Zayn I think we can get more information on who that was.
Harry reached into his pocket, pulling out the driver's license we had found in the pocket of the body.
When we were disposing the body, Harry being the smart one checked his pocket and found the driver's license. The victims name was Eric Kaiser, Harry said he worked for Black Streak.
"Eric?" Zayn gasped with wide eyes when Harry handed him the card. "Jesus Christ."
"I think I'm missing something," I said waving my hand around. "Who's Eric?"
"He's is.. well was one of our very important people involved with monday laundering." He said as I took it in. I knew this wasn't good for them, if someone gets out of the cycle people start losing their money and people get mad.
"Well that's not good," Harry had told me he was important, but didn't tell me what he specifically did. "What are you going to do about it."
"I don't know, I haven't really thought about it," Harry let out a deep sigh. "I just want to work on finding out why they killed him."
Was there a reason they chose this Eric person, or was it completely random?
"Is that why you wanted me help?" Zayn asked, throwing the license back on the table between us.
It was like we were in a fucking horror investigation. The way the three of us were sitting around the small table, the only light being the one above the table because the windows were closed off.
"That's what we were hoping," I spoke up, shifting in my seat. "We wanted to see if you could get into the system and read his file."
"We're hoping that we can try and connect something to Sammie," Harry said, making Zayn shift his attention to Harry. "Do you think you can do it?"
"Of course I can," Zayn said confidently with a smile. "Did you want to call the other boys so they can be here?"
"No," Harry replied quickly. "We don't want to get them involved, the less people are better. You wouldn't be involved if you didn't have a genius brain."
"Aww, thanks for the compliment." Zayn said sarcastically, rubbing his hand on Harry's shoulder making him hit Zayn's hand. "Be nice, Harry!"
"I am being nice!" He groaned back at Zayn. I'm glad they are going back to themselves. "Just work your goddamn magic or tell me how to do it."
Zayn rolled his eyes at Harry before standing up to go grab his computer from one of his bags. I stayed quiet, my eyes focused on the ring on my finger.
It was almost identical to the one in the picture on Desmond's file. I stayed up for nights just letting that eat at me. I don't think Harry has connected the ring and mine.
Am I supposed to say something to him?
"So all you want me to do is hack into the system and overlook his file?" Zayn asked like we were stupid, sometimes he let his brain get the best of him.
"No," Harry deadpanned, pursing his lips. "We want you to set off an atomic bomb in Turkey."
Well that's one option, Harry. I don't think that's what I'd choose to do, but whatever suits you.
"I could do that," Zayn said seriously, and I let my jaw drop as I stared at him with wide eyes. "It'd actually be pretty easy."
What the fuck kind of friendship did I get myself into? Apparently one that knows how to set off bombs on the other side of the world.
"Okay, let's just stick to our topic." I interrupted them before either of them could say something else. "Zayn, you do your thing. You be nice or stay quiet."
I pointed my finger at Harry sternly who just frowned and stuck his tongue out at me like a little kid. He did actually stay quiet which is what impressed me.
He was giving Zayn a death stare as he worked on getting into the files, but he didn't make any comments. I could also see him giving me littles glances, his eyebrows furrowing every time he looked at me.
If I was him I would probably be scared at the sight of me too. I haven't slept in over twenty four hours, and I look like hell.
After the mess of last night, I had completely forgotten how wound up Harry and I had gotten. Thankfully neither of us were in the mood for it, because I honestly couldn't have taken it.
Once we finally cleaned everything up, we ended up going back to my hotel room instead. I don't think we really felt comfortable sitting in a hotel where we had just discovered someones fucking body.
I could tell Harry was really tired and after we changed, he crashed the second his head hit the pillow. I tried sleeping, but it was useless.
My mind was eating me up, and I kept over thinking every little thing. My brain was stuck as I laid on my side, staring at the clock that sat on the nightstand.
I watched as the numbers kept flashing, changing over and over yet my brain wouldn't stop. I couldn't take much more of it until Harry ended up rolling over in his sleep and wrapping his arms around me.
Then it was just me playing with his hair for the next hour or two until I couldn't sit any longer. I felt bad when I woke Harry up when I tried to get out of the bed, but he was just grumpy. I was leaving him.
I told him I was just taking a shower which he kept asking repeatedly if he could join me, which I was quick to say no to. Normally I wouldn't be against it, I just needed a few minutes to myself and he needed sleep.
"And we are... in." Zayn snapped me out of my thoughts, turning the computer towards me and Harry. "Here is Eric's file."
My eyes traced over the screen, taking in the details. It was the same layout as the files I saw on Desmond's computer. It had Eric's basic information, with access to other files.
"You said you wanted to try and spotlight search for tasks relating to Sammie?" Zayn asked, and Harry and I both gave him a nod. "That won't be too-"
His words were cut off when the screen suddenly went black. I'm going to take a wild guess and say it probably wasn't supposed to do that.
Zayn hit basically every button on the laptop, smashing practically to try and turn it back on. Nothing happened, and I started to get nervous when his face flashed with panic and he quickly turned the screen back to face him.
One second everything was there and we had full access, and the next it was frozen and the screen shut down.
"Did your computer die?" Harry asked, and we both quickly stood up from our chairs so we could stand behind Zayn.
"No, it was almost completely full battery." He was hitting the power button, in hopes that it would do something but nothing happened.
"Is it just overloading and shutting down?" I asked hesitantly, not wanting to jump to conclusions.
His computer could just be overheating from whatever he just did. I know he was doing some pretty heavy and intense hacking, so I'm just going to assume it's that.
Or it could be something very bad...
"I don't know, it hasn't really done anything like this before." He sighed, sitting back in the chair like he was accepting his pounding on the keyboard wouldn't help.
We all sat in silence for what felt like forever, not wanting to say anything. Maybe we even thought if we intensely stared at the screen it would scare it into turning back on?
"So are we just going to sit here in silence or are we going to-" Harry started to ask after a few moments but something flashing across the screen and Zayn interrupted him.
"Shush!" Zayn quipped at him, sitting up straight. "Thank, fuck."
The screen flashed back to its normal setting, Eric's file coming back into view. A wave of relief flashed over me, but it didn't last long when Zayn couldn't move the mouse.
"What the fuck?" I murmured under my breath as I watched the frozen screen before it suddenly changed and something I never would have expected came over the screen. "Oh my-"
A picture. Not just any picture, a countdown and somebody tied up.
"Zayn," Harry's voice was stern, and I could tell that he was worrying. "What is going on?"
The red clock flashed the numbers counting down slowly. I swear I could hear a tick echoing at the back of my head with the combination of my pulse.
"I don't know!" Zayn said a bit louder, and I could tell he was panicking. "Someone's overriding my computer, I can't stop it."
My eyes were trained on the screen watching looking at the person. They looked so familiar, but the dim lighting made it nearly impossible to tell who it was. What made it all clear was the outfit.
"Holy shit," I gasped, slapping my hand to my mouth when I realized who it was. "That's Spencer."
If this situation could get any worse, which I didn't think was possible, it just did. Harry and Zayn both twisted to me immediately their jaws dropping before staring at it again when it hit them.
Spencer, their poor innocent tour manager. He doesn't know about this shit, I know he doesn't, the boys told me.
That's why he doesn't stick around after a show, he goes off to the next one to prepare while the bad people stick around and do their job. He doesn't do this stuff.
Here he is though, tied up with a countdown. But what the fuck is it for?
"How the fuck are we supposed to help him?" Harry asked, raising his voice and hitting his hand against the table.
I don't think any of us wanted to speak, I don't think we knew what to say. It was such an unsettling feeling, just sitting here watching the screen not knowing what to do.
That was until something flashed across the screen again. Words overlapping on the screen.
"Think fast..." Zayn spoke slowly, reading the words off the screen. "Fuck, is that an address?"
At the top of the screen, it looked like an address had popped up. I took the chance, pulling my phone out as fast as I could. I swear my hands couldn't move any faster.
I typed in the address, feeling like I was waiting forever as it tried to connect the location. It suddenly pulled up what looked like an apartment building.
Right when I went to look up at the computer screen, a number flashed across the screen.
512.
"That's the apartment number!" I said quickly, pointing at the number that had appeared. "It's an apartment building less than a mile from here."
I clarified where the building was, zooming in on the map so I could see the proximity. It was in the middle of the city, and from the images it didn't look that nice. But fuck, we needed to move.
"We have less than an hour, what should we do?" Harry asked, his eyes meeting mine. They looked nervous, but I could see that fire and fight behind them.
"We have to go there," I said quickly, running my hands through my hair feeling the stress build. "It may be a trap, but I'm not going to sit here and let this happen."
I'm not stupid, and this isn't my first time being involved with something like this. I know how easily this could be a trap, but we need to get Spencer.
So many more things will go wrong if he dies. He doesn't deserve to die either, he has a life. Which is so weird and different for me because normally I wouldn't care, but I do.
"I'm going with you," Zayn said quickly and I turned to him not knowing what to say. "I'm going with, I don't care what you say."
"No, Zayn." I said sternly, giving him a look. "We aren't putting you in danger."
"Indiana," His voice was strong, and his tone was unlike any way I've ever heard him speak. "With all due respect, shut your fucking mouth because it's not going to work. I'm coming with, end of story."
Well damn, Zayn. That wasn't very nice.
I think Zayn may have scared himself a bit with his words because he looked like he was going to shit himself. I don't think me staring daggers into his head was helping either.
"Jesus, fuck," Harry let out a chuckle probably shocked by his words and my reaction. "Way to speak up, Z."
"Harry," I said turning to him, trying to brush off Zayn. "Go to the room and get our guns. You know where they are."
I gave him a nod, trying to control myself from losing my shit. Harry looked amused as I spoke to him, a smirk playing on his lips.
"Taking charge, that's my girl." He said with a smirk, pushing my side with one of his hands but I snapped towards him, ripping his hand away.
"This is serious, go!" I practically yelled at him, and I watched the look on his face change when he realized I wasn't taking this lightly.
I wasn't going to let anyone else die because of me.
Harry quickly ran out of the room leaving Zayn and I alone. The sheer look of panic of Zayn's face was enough to make me worry.
My head was pounding with twenty different scenarios, I had no idea what to do. I don't do stuff like this, I'm not a savior.
I'm a killer.
I started pacing around the room, I couldn't stand still anymore. I hated this feeling, it was so familiar to me. Thinking I'm the reason someone else is going to die for no reason.
It's happened before. My father died because of me. He was my best friend, my only friend. I miss him.
"Should we call the other boys?" Zayn asked after a few seconds of silence as I paced around the room.
"No," I responded quickly. "They don't need to be put in danger, and neither should you."
"I don't care what you say, I'm coming with, Indiana." He replied, his voice even more stern. "They need to know."
I knew Zayn's choice to come with wasn't changing. If he wants to come, then he can. He just needs to be prepared.
As for the other boys, they for sure need to stay out. Harry and I want to keep them out of this as much as possible. They still don't know who I am.
"Okay," I sighed, giving in. I knew it wasn't worth putting up a fight. "But they aren't coming. We need to keep them away from this."
"Can we at least tell them what's going on?" He asked, and I just don't think he understood. "The three of them stayed the night in some suite last night, they're together."
"Zayn, they can't know if they will insist on coming with," I explained to him. "I know you want to keep them safe, so this is what we have to do. I will call them and tell them they need to be careful, just go get ready."
He gave me a nod, as he turned away quickly to go to his suitcase. I think I was so wound up that I hadn't even noticed he was in just a pair of sweatpants with no shirt on.
I moved away, towards the door so I could give Zayn some space and pulled out my phone. I dreaded that I had to call them, but I also know they need to be prepared.
Who knows what could happen to them? We've had one hotel broken into, and one computer hacked into.
I hesitantly clicked on Louis' contact, as it was the most recent one and I knew he was the most likely to be awake. I put the phone against my ear, hearing the echoing ring.
My heart was racing so bad, and I didn't know why. It wasn't like I was about to tell three men that their tour manager is being held hostage because of me.
Great one, Indiana. It's just what they want to hear at ten in the morning.
"Indiana?" I heard Louis' groggy voice, and I could tell that I had probably woken him up. "Is everything okay, it's fucking early?"
No, nothing is okay. Ever.
"It's not that early, Louis." I sighed into the phone, knowing I was stalling on telling him. "And no, something happened."
"What?" I could hear the panic in his voice, and shifting on the bed. "What happened?"
I could hear someone's voice in the background suddenly, a woman's. Nice one, Louis.
He quickly shushed her, waiting for my response. My heart was beating so loudly against my chest, and I hated it.
"I don't have time to explain now," I said quickly, trying to give him as little information as possible. "Zayn and Harry are with me, we are taking care of it. Just tell the other boys, and get anyone who is not the three of you out of there."
I was stern with my words, and as I spoke I could hear more muffling on Louis' side of the phone. Right when Louis started to speak again, Harry rushed back into the room, his chest heaving up and down like he had been running.
"No, you have to explain more, Indiana." Louis' voice was serious now, and when he spoke it was rushed. I knew this was worrying him.
Harry was looking at me with confused eyes, and when he went to speak I signaled him to stop. He was standing a short distance away, and he looked worried.
"Louis, listen to me," I said sternly and he immediately stopped talking to me. "Do what I said. Be careful, and stay alert. We will be back soon."
"But-" He went to speak but I cut him off again.
"Stop, we have to go." I hung up the phone with that, looking up so my eyes met with Harry.
"Guns," He said, handing me my gun that I was so familiar with. "I have one for Zayn. Where is he?"
I tucked my phone into the side pocket of the black leggings I had, lifting the oversized hoodie and flannel. It was a grey hoodie with one of Harry's worn black and almost light orange flannel. It wasn't the best outfit, but it would have to work.
I grabbed the gun from Harry, putting it away in it's normal spot in my waistband. I'm sure it would be fine just in my hoodie pocket, but I couldn't risk anyone seeing it.
"Bathroom," I said, tilting my head to the direction of the bathroom. "Had to change."
Right when I finished my sentence, the bathroom door clicked open and Zayn stepped out. He was wearing a simple pair of black jeans with a red Nike hoodie.
"Do you want me to drive?" He asked, wasting no time to throw on a pair of sneakers and moving to stand with us.
"I can get there faster," Harry answered, pulling out another gun to give Zayn. "Gun. Please be careful, and don't accidentally set it off."
"I know how to shoot a gun for fucks sake," Zayn groaned, rolling his eyes. "Are you sure you want to drive?"
My eyes were trained on Harry, watching as he lifted the white t-shirt that was under his black and blue flannel. He adjusted the gun in his waistband, the band of his boxers sticking out.
I felt distracted and overwhelmed, just listening to them unable to speak. I was mentally preparing myself until I realized something.
"We can't drive," I spoke up in realization, them both whipping their heads to me. "We're in one of the biggest cities in the country. There's too much traffic, it will take too long."
If I wouldn't have thought about that, we could have been stuck for hours. Even driving two blocks last night took nearly twenty minutes.
"So what the fuck do you say we do," Harry asked, sounding annoyed and stressed. "Walk?"
I hated the tone he was using, but I couldn't blame him. He's known Spencer for a few years, this is probably hitting him hard.
"Yes," I said, pulling out my phone to look at the map again. "It's only supposed to be a ten minute walk."
"We leave now, and we'll have more than thirty minutes." Zayn finished my words, and I nodded at him.
We all just looked at each other for a few seconds, no one doing anything. The silence was fucking deafening as we stood there.
I don't think anyone wanted to be the first one to move. None of us know what the fuck we are about to get ourselves taken
"Fuck, what are we doing," Harry broke the silence, throwing his hand towards the door. "Let's go!"
We all moved as fast as we could, leaving Zayn's room and shutting the door. The walk down the long hallway to the elevators felt different.
It felt like we were walking in slow motion even though we were nearly running. The lighting looked almost dingy, and it felt like the walls were caving in on me.
I felt stuck even though I was moving.
My hand kept repeatedly pounding the elevator waiting for it to come up to us. This is why I hated when they got big fancy hotel rooms, they were always on a higher floor. A higher floor meant longer time for the elevator to come up.
"What the fuck are we going to do when we get there?" Zayn asked, and I could tell the shock of what was going was finally hitting him.
"I don't know, Zayn," I said honestly, letting out a huff. "You don't have to come with."
He didn't even answer, he just shook my head and I knew that he still wanted to come. He looked nervous, but was confident in his choice.
The doors of the elevator slid open, and we stepped on as fast as we could. Harry hitting the shut button over and over until the doors shut.
We were all spread out towards different sides of the elevator, our heads down like we were taking in our thoughts. The only sound being the humming of the elevator shaft going down.
Right when I thought we were finally going to reach the lobby, the elevator just had to fucking stop on floor two. Floor two for god sake, it just had to be the one right above the fucking lobby floor.
It was just what we needed.
"Good morning," The older woman greeted us as she stepped on, I swear she couldn't move any slower. "What are you youngsters doing up and at it at such an early hour?"
I could tell Harry was getting ticked off by this, and hitting pounding his fist against the close button the second her body was fully on the elevator wasn't helping. I glanced at him giving him a look, and he just rolled his eyes at me.
"Oh, we just have a busy day ahead of us," I smiled at the woman, answering for all of us. "Got a bunch of sightseeing to do before we leave."
What a fucking bullshit excuse, Indiana.
"Oh, that's so sweet," The woman awed at us, clasping her hand over her heart. "Where are you kids from?"
Right when she finished her sentence, the elevator doors opened to the lobby, and Harry and Zayn were already bolting out of it.
Way to fucking leave me, dicks.
"I'm sorry, we really have to go." I apologized to the woman, turning back to look at her as I hurried out of the elevator. "Have a good one, Ma'am."
Without looking back, I ran. I didn't care who was staring at me, and I didn't give a flying fuck that we were staying in some top hotel.
I could see Zayn and Harry, exiting the building and running down the steps. I was quick to follow behind them, the entry doors flying open, the cold air immediately hitting my body.
When I went down the stairs, I could see the boys waiting down to the side. I rushed down them, going to turn to meet them when I slammed into someone.
"I'm sorry!" I apologized quickly, not even looking when I tried to walk away but someone grasped my arm. "Hey-"
"Indiana, is that you?" I heard the familiar voice, and my heart stopped. Not the fucking time for this.
"Jaxson?" I said confused, pushing his hand away from my arm. I turned to look at him, and it truly was him.
All him and his fucking disaster. He was with another woman, but not a random woman. The woman he fucking cheated with me on.
"Oh and we have Amanda too!" I said cheerfully, giving him a fake smile. "I'm glad to see you two are thriving, but I really have to go."
I went to turn away again, my eyes meeting Harry who looked confused. I heard Jaxson's voice making me stop.
"What are you doing here?" He asked, looking around. My eyes laid on Amanda who was giving me a bitchy look, and I just crossed my arms over her chest staring at her.
"I could ask you the same question, Jaxson." I knew the way I said his name would hurt his ego, he knew it wasn't in a good way. "What are you doing here?"
"Amanda and I were taking a weekend getaway," He replied quickly, wrapping his arm around the woman. "We are visiting my mom."
"Yeah, she's so sweet!" Amanda gushed, and I could tell how fake she was being. "Did you ever meet her?"
"Yeah, I did actually." I deadpanned, and I could tell it surprised her because she immediately sealed her lips. "I'm going to go now, you enjoy being with a fucking cheater."
I gave Amanda a smile and a nod, my eyes meeting Jaxson and I could tell he was mad.
"Indiana," He gushed and I nearly pulled my gun out and shot myself in the head. "You're not gonna tell me how you've been? Why are you here? You don't come to Chicago often, I thought you didn't like it."
"I'm here for work," I replied shortly. "And actually I'm quite fond of the city. I just didn't like being here with you."
My words were harsh, but I didn't care. I hope it hurt every fucking fiber in him.
"Is everything okay?" I heard the familiar British accent, and that is when I nearly lost it. "Indiana?"
I looked back, and not only was Harry standing behind me, but we also had Zayn on the other side of me. Jaxson tensed up quickly, taking a step back but his eyes also flashed with recognition.
Zayn and Harry were both taller than him, and he looked intimidated. He better be intimidated by them, they'd snap his neck before he could blink.
"Holy shit are you guys from that band?" Jaxson gasped and went to bump Harry's shoulder with his fist. Harry very aggressively snapped his hand to grab his fist and dug his finger into his hand.
Even that fucking Amanda bitch had a shocked look on her face, she knew who they were.
"Yes, they are." I responded dryly. "I work with them."
They didn't need details, he didn't deserve to know about my personal life anymore.
"You work with them?" He asked, pointing between us and letting out a dry laugh.
"I'm Harry," Harry said fakely, putting his hand out to shake Jaxson's. "Her boyfriend. I noticed you seemed to be bothering her, is everything okay?"
Fucking hell, Harry. That was probably the worst fucking thing you could have done.
I know this is about to go bad, and I have a clock counting down. Literally, someones life is counting on a fucking clock.
"Boyfriend, hmm." Just by the tone of his voice I could tell things were about to go bad. "I'm surprised someone wanted a corrupt mess like you in their life, it was the worst thing that happened to me."
Ouch.
Words hurt, they do but I'm stronger than them. I've learned to let them fly over, they are just words. Pointless things that someone only uses when they are weak and jealous.
I won't let them hurt me anymore.
Everything happened too fast. Before I could blink, Harry was launching on Jaxson and his little girlfriend was screeching.
I felt stuck in my place. I was trying so hard not to let his words affect me, but I couldn't hold back.
Part of me felt like he was right. Every worry in me that ever wondered if I was bad for Harry came back.
Was my hurricane destroying him?
"Harry!" I forced myself to snap out of it, grabbing Harry's body that was attacking Jaxson with everything in me.
Right when I got a grasp on him, he pulled his arm out and punched Jaxson as hard as he could, the sound of his nose breaking rippling down the street. His screams were loud, and we were lucky no one else was close by, but we needed to fucking leave.
And for multiple reasons.
Our asses were not about to end up in jail because Harry beat someone up on the side of the street.
"Stop it!" I yelled at Harry, and he froze. "We need to fucking leave, we have somewhere to be."
Harry stood up, wiping his blood stained fist on his jeans giving Jaxson one last look before turning away and walking down the street. He didn't even look back, leaving Zayn and I standing there.
Zayn and I ran to catch up with him, Harry walking very fast and already crossing the street and distances away. He didn't even look when he crossed the street, but stopped when he made it across and I slammed into his back.
"I'm sorry, Indiana." He apologized, desperately running his hands through his hair trying to grasp at something. "Please forgive me, I'm sorry."
He's apologizing to me?
"Harry," I said, grasping his shirt, trying to stop his panicking I could tell was coming towards him. "Harry.. baby. I'm not mad."
The nickname got his attention like I thought it would. He knew I didn't call him that often, unless I truly needed him to listen.
"I'm not mad," I repeated, my hands holding on his shirt as I looked up at him. "He deserved it, but we really need to go."
I'd love to stay here and talk and just hold him close to me, but we can't. I would even cry if I could, but I needed to stay strong.
"I couldn't control myself," He said, his eyes finally meeting mine. "How could you stand there and let him say that? Are you okay?"
It was like he finally saw how it hurt me. Zayn was just staring at us, and I could already feel the overwhelming emotion coming.
"Yes," I answered quickly, trying to stay strong. "Let's just go. I don't want to talk about it now. We can talk later."
It wasn't a lie, I really didn't want to talk about it. It felt like scars reopening, the sting of hitting the air burning me already. I just wanted to help someone, that would help me.
"Come on, guys," Zayn spoke up, tilting his head in the direction of the apartment building. "Let it be for now."
Zayn was the peacemaker, he made everyone drop it and forget about right in the moment. He always helped people and made it better.
We started speed walking in silence, I could see the building from here. I recognized it from the pictures and it was only two blocks away.
Jaxson was still screaming in the background, but my head was rushed with too many different things. Spencer, seeing Jaxson, his words, Harry's actions, him apologizing. I felt like my head was going to explode.
We pushed through different people who were crowding the streets. All the tourists looking at the different buildings, taking in the sights and doing their shopping. If only they knew what we were doing.
"It's that one," I broke the silence when we began to cross the next crosswalk. "The old reddish looking one."
"Looks fucking creepy." Zayn said, shivering when we stepped back onto the sidewalk. His hands were in his pocket as we walked a few steps behind Harry.
It was indeed very fucking creepy. It looked abandoned, and I'm sure it was if they were using it for that. It was probably owned by them for whatever dark shit they do there.
The wind was cold as it blew against our skin. I could feel my cheeks and nose freezing as I wrapped my arms around my waist. It was like my security.
I'm actually glad I have Harry's flannel on now. It's helping me calm down as I hold it close to me. His familiar scent was wavering off of it as I took deep breaths, counting in my head.
I think it reminded me of my fathers flannel, and that's why it kept me grounded. I was able to wrap myself in the warmth and stay in a safe space. Or as safe as my life could get.
"What apartment is it?" Harry asked, slowing down his pace so he was walking in line with us now.
We were crossing the last crosswalk, the building being right there. A chill went down my spine as I looked at it. I didn't like the feeling in the pit of my stomach.
"512." I answered quietly, glancing around to see if there were people, but every seemed to have distanced.
It was a sketchy part of the city. People tried to stay away from places like these, but here we were running into one.
I hated that a part of me was constantly thinking about the what ifs. This could easily be a trap, and something could go so wrong but my brain won't let me shut it down. Maybe there's a reason my brain is letting off all these shots?
There's a very high chance I could be on a suicide mission, but I don't seem to care. I'm going in to try and protect someone else's safety which is the most shocking part to me.
I would have never dared to do this before. Yes, I risked my life daily, but if it came down to me helping someone else it was a no.
I fought against people, not for them.
"You guys ready?" Zayn asked when we stopped in front of the building. I was looking up at it trying to prepare myself for anything that could possibly happen.
"Don't die," I mocked Zayn's words that he's repeated to me so many times. "Harry, you good?"
Harry looked like he was a bit zoned out, his head staring down at the ground. His shoulders were bouncing up and down slightly, and I couldn't tell if it was good or bad.
"Let's fucking do this." He cocked his head up, that familiar evil smirk playing on his lips.
Well at least Harry is ready for this.
Stop being such a pussy, Indiana. You've done this before.
I gave myself a little pep talk before I started to walk up the few stairs into the building. I wasn't surprised when I pushed the door open and it was unlocked. Someone's expecting us here.
I pulled the gun from my waistband the second I was away from the sight of the street, getting it ready. Harry and Zayn piled in letting the door shut and doing the same as me.
My heart was racing, my breathing intensifying as I stood here. My hand was ready on the trigger as I started to walk in, my eyes looking everywhere to make sure no one was hiding.
The lobby, or what would normally be considered was completely empty. There were bright lights throughout the whole room leading to the elevator area.
"We're taking the stairs," I said the second my eyes landed on the lit staircase sign. "I don't trust that shit."
I pointed at the elevators as we passed them, a chill going down my spine. They were creepy, and part of me feels like they would just fucking fall through the ground if we got on them.
This whole place is gross. It reeks of drugs and blood, everything is old and worn out. Clearly this place is used for a mafia or gang, but which one is the question.
"It's clear in here." Harry said when he opened the staircase doors, searching the place before he opened the door fully.
We slid through the door, leaving it partially open behind us as we looked up the long staircase. There were about seven or eight floors above us, and a lot of fucking stairs.
"Get ready for a fucking leg workout," Zayn laughed as we started to make our way up the stairs. "Our quads are going to be hurting after this one."
"Zayn, do you really need to make jokes right now?" Harry groaned, stomping his feet against the stairs as he walked up them.
"I'm sorry I'm trying to lighten the mood," He pushed back, rolling his eyes. "For all we know we could fucking die."
I didn't want to listen to anymore of them, I let myself zone out thinking of anything and everything. So many questions unanswered that I wish I could just figure out.
Floor two.
If only I was smart enough to solve the puzzle. Everything would go away, our lives could go back to our normal hell. We wouldn't have to worry about this anymore.
My life is so far from what it was three months ago. I took this job with my last strand. Hugo said it would be good for me, but look where we are.
I pushed it off for so long. I wanted to stay hidden forever, I didn't want to go on this job. An eight month task was a very fucking long one, and I'm not even focused on my actual job.
Floor three.
I don't even know if I should kill Desmond anymore. I could have easily done it the other day, but I didn't.
Part of me realized that maybe he's a puzzle piece to this whole problem. I couldn't get rid of him yet until I solved it.
Another side of me doesn't want to admit that maybe Hugo is involved too. There's so many people that could be in this, but we think it's just Harry and me.
This whole mess is tearing us apart. Poor Harry is going to hell and back. I actually genuinely feel bad for him. He doesn't sleep, and he barely has time to eat. It's just show, job, hell, and trying to figure this out on repeat.
He has so much on his plate, and I wish I could just wipe it clean for him.
Floor four.
My nerves were building, and my legs were burning. Only a few stairs left until we have to face the reality of this.
I'm ready to fight though, I know I can do whatever comes at me. That's what I'm good at, I work my way out of the problems I put myself in.
"Here we go," Harry said quietly when we hit the last step, the door to the apartment access right in front of us. "Whatever happens we just work through it."
Floor five.
512.
"It'll be alright" I said reassuringly, but it was more like convincing myself. "Zayn if it goes bad and you can't handle it we are here."
"I'll be okay," He nodded at me as we reached the door. "I can fight a bit and with your help I'll be fine."
We all looked at each other one last time before Harry reached for the door handle twisting it hesitantly. It creaked open to reveal a hallway lined with different doors.
It was dingy in here, the lighting darker then what it was in the rest of the building. Harry was the first to walk through as Zayn followed and I went behind them.
I took deep breaths, making myself concentrate as I read the numbers on the doors.
501.
502.
503.
We made it here before the hour was up, I know we did. Spencer will be okay, we will get him out of this.
He'll get the help he needs, he will be safe. He will get back to doing the job he loves, bossing us around and screaming at us to be in our places on time and have everything ready.
This tour needs Spencer, it would fall apart without him.
507.
508.
509.
"It's this one over here," Harry spoke up, and I don't know why his voice startled me. "The one on the right."
He was pointing to the door two down as he walked towards it before stopping in front of it. It was a dark wood door, and the other side seemed to be silent.
I couldn't hear anything over how loudly my heart was beating. It was ringing through my ears, my pulse about to burst through my skin.
512.
Be prepared, be smart, and stay safe.
The words my parents told me so many times when I was a child repeated in my head. I told them to myself every time I needed them, and this was one of them.
Harry twisted the door handle and it felt like it was dragged on forever slow. It was probably because none of us wanted to face what was one the other side, but when I did face it, it wasn't what I expected.
It was dark, pitch black to be exact. Not a sound to be heard from the room. The overwhelming scent of blood instantly fills my nostrils.
"What the fuck-" Zayn spoke sounding very confused. "Is there a light in here?"
I stepped a bit more into the room, my hand patting down the wall until I felt a light switch. I hesitated flicking it on, the bright light overwhelming and taking a second for my eyes to adjust. When they did adjust, I wished I had never turned the light on.
Words written on the wall in blood that read 'Last Warning'. My mouth dropped at the sight, not even wanting to look away from it. I didn't want to see what I knew was there.
But when I did see it, everything came crashing down around me. It was all my fault. I tried, I tried so hard to make this not happen. I was too late.
The sight in front of me was the only thing I was wishing I wouldn't see.
Spencer's body.
His dead body to be exact.