***A/N*** Hello! Fun little Theo POV for you all! Fair warning, you might get some second-hand embarrassment reading this chapter, I sure as hell got a bunch writing it. Okay see you guys soon-ish I think! xx
--------------
"Mumma? Can you get me a cup of water please?" I call from the living room sofa. I move in my spot in sync with my Mario Kart character Toad on the telly.
I can hear the clattering of dishes in the kitchen and Mum comes out shortly after with a glass of ice water and a metal straw. She kisses the top of my head and flattens my hair before going back into the kitchen.
I look up for a split second as Ophelia and Freddie come walking out of Freddie's room with a big bag full of something. They head out the front door screaming with laughter.
"Where did they go?" Annie says running into the living room.
I can't see Mum cause my eyes are glued to the screen in front of me but I assume she's walked out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on a tea towel like she always does, "Where did who go?"
"Ophelia and Freddie!" Annie stomps her foot, "Where did they run off to?"
"They took a bag downstairs, Freddie asked for the car keys."
Annie stomps her foot again, "Damn!"
"Annabeth!"
"Sorry Mummy."
"Go clean up and change that attitude of yours before dinner. It's the last one we're having with Freddie for a few days before he goes over to the West's house." Mum says.
Annie walks back through the living room and down the hallway huffing and puffing the entire time.
"Georgie! Can you call Theseus and Cass, let them know that dinner is going to be in an hour or so? Draco and Scorpius should be here around then!" Mum calls.
Dad comes out of nowhere and sits down on the sofa beside me, "Yes my love."
I win the race and triumphantly toss the remote on the big chair nearby. Dad takes the actual telly remote and turns off the volume, pausing my victory music. I'm suddenly very aware of the conversation that we had on the first night back from Hogwarts, 'one minute you're playing video games then bam, we're having the talk.'
Oh god.
"So when you love someone..." Dad starts.
I instantly get up and move silently into my room. I can hear Dad laughing and Mum say, 'Is that really how you're going to start that conversation, Georgie?'
There's a knock on my door and Dad lets himself in before I can say, 'not interested thanks!'
"Hey buddy," He says, making his way across my room and sitting on the edge of my bed, "What's up?"
I roll my eyes and he laughs, "Can we just get this over with please?"
"When I had the talk with Freddie, it was partly because he had a girlfriend, and partly because I found his Witch Weekly magazines under his bed. Mum had the talk with Ophelia when she found her Witch Weekly magazine stock pile...."
"If you want to raid my room Dad there's nothing to find..."
He puts up his hand, "No, no that's not what I was trying to say. I was saying that when we've given your siblings the talk we had a reason to, finding their stash of stuff. But you. You've just got a girlfriend that you pecked on the cheek. It doesn't look that sexual."
"It's not. We've already had that talk. Neither of us is interested in stuff like that. Not yet."
Dad nods, "Good. That's good. You're too young for that stuff anyway. But I want you to know some of the basics before you get to a place where you are interested in stuff like that, yeah?"
I shrug, "Yeah? I guess so."
Dad pats his knees, "Right. First things first. I have to ask, what types of people are you attracted to?"
I look at Dad for a minute, "What type of people am I attracted to?"
He nods, "You need different knowledge for different partners. It just lets me know which points I have to cover."
"Oh..." I think for a second, "I'm attracted to the female form."
Dad nods, "It's a good form to be attracted to."
"Oh my god."
"I'm just saying! Anyways, cool, now we've got that established. Let's talk about the most important thing there is to know... Consent."
"Consent is not where I thought you would be taking this."
"It's the only way this conversation should be headed. I mean yeah use a condom, learn where the clit is..."
"Dad oh my god!"
"Oi, it's very important for people to know where the clit is."
"This is going splendidly."
"Consent," Dad says again, "Is many different things. It can be as simple as asking 'can I kiss you?' or it can be something less simple like making sure that the person you want to have sex with is in the right state of mind to be making those decisions, whether it be how drunk they are, how high they are, or what mood they are in. If someone's in a depressive state then they might want to use sex as a form of self-harm rather than because they actually want to have it."
I nod, "Makes sense."
"Without consent, you don't do anything. You don't touch them, you don't flirt with them, you stop buying them drinks if you're at a pub. That's it. A no is a no."
I nod again.
"However, sometimes someone may say yes when they don't want to actually say yes. If they're scared, or if they just want to make you happy, they might consent just to get it over with. But that's not real consent. You have to listen to your partner, how they say things, the tone of their voice, their body language. If they say yes and you don't think they actually mean yes, then it's a no."
"Yeah, I mean, yeah. Isn't that obvious?"
Dad sighs, "You may think it would be obvious but it's not to lots of people. If your partner isn't having fun then it's not fun. You must both be on the same wave or else nothing happens. The same goes for you. In your relationships, you're going to be the one with the penis."
"I – jesus christ."
"Yeah, he had a penis too."
"Godric Dad!"
"he did too."
I don't respond this time cause I know that he's just going to make more jokes, "If your partner wants to have sex. But you're not interested in having sex, you are allowed to say no. Consent goes both ways. The thing is, however, while you may not want to have sex, you may pop a boner anyways depending on what your partner is doing to you. A boner does not mean consent either, despite what they might think."
"Okay... got it."
"It also goes with kinks and things. You probably dunno what you're into yet and that's fine. Half the fun is exploring new things with your partner. But you have to be sure that you're both on board with experimenting cause there are some things that not everyone is into. A piss kink for example. Not everyone's into that kind of stuff so if you are..."
"I'm not."
"But if you are, you have to find a partner who is also into that sort of stuff. Whipping your dick out and pissing on random people is sexual assault. And it's gross."
My jaw goes slack, "You can trust me when I say, I will not go whipping my dick out and pissing on people."
Dad nods, "Good, yeah good. Also for the record. Animals can't consent either."
"DAD!"
"Or children..."
"DAD OH MY GOD!"
"And when you turn seventeen, anyone under the age of seventeen can't consent either."
"I'm distraught."
"But do you get what I'm trying to say?"
I look at Dad who seems very serious and is clearly demanding a response from me. "Of course! Consent is everything. Without it, nothing happens."
Dad nods, "Good, good. Now a few anatomy things so you don't make the same awkward mistakes I did my first time."
"Oh god."
"The entrance to the vagina is a lot lower than you may think. Please don't just start jabbing your penis in random places and hoping for the best."
I cover my eyes with my hands and press the heels of my palms into my eye sockets till it hurts a little. It's not so much the fact that my Dad is telling me this stuff than it is the fact that Mum was the person he was doing all this stuff with cause he's been with her since he was like thirteen or something.
"And as I said, the clit is very important. If you want your partner to have a good time you have to stimulate it."
"Are we done here?"
"We keep condoms in the bathroom for you lot to use. We don't count them or pay attention to how many are in there. Nothing. But there are different sizes and you have to make sure the ones you're using fit you properly." Dad gets up from my bed and pats my shoulder, "Be smart when you're ready to have sex. It's confusing and strange at first, and you'll have some questions. But that's what Dads and big brothers are for. Lord knows I told Bill and Charlie way too much about me and your mother's sex life when we were growing up."
"Goodbye now," I say looking up at Dad.
He laughs and rolls his eyes playfully, "Uncle Draco and Scor are coming by for dinner so let's try to wear something other than pyjamas yeah?"
"Yeah."
Dad leaves and I throw myself backwards on the bed shutting my eyes tight. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be but christ it was pretty awful.
When Mum and Dad said that Uncle Draco and Scorpius were coming for dinner in about an hour they really meant five minutes. Cause it's not long before Uncle Draco's loud voice shouts, "Violet! Tell me you did not kill Damon Avery last night!" Throughout the entire flat.
There's a knock at my door and Annie pops her head in, "Uncle Draco and Scor are here."
"Yeah I gathered that."
Annie looks at me a little longer, "What were you and Daddy talking about?"
Instantly I feel the heat rise to my cheeks, "Uh, he uh, gave me the talk."
Annie furrows her eyebrows together, "What talk? Like what was it about?"
"Yeah, I'm not having this conversation with you." I push past her and walk out of my room.
Annie follows right behind me, "It's no fair that you and Freddie, and Ophelia, and Cass all get secret talks with Mummy and Daddy and I don't get one! Then you tell them about it and not me! I'm not a child!"
"You're acting like one," Ophelia says to her from the sofa.
Annie sticks her tongue out at Ophelia, "I want the talk!"
Uncle Draco laughs loudly from the kitchen and Mum shushes him.
"Cassiopeia needs the talk again," Ophelia says, "Given that we're just handing them out to everyone."
"You shut your mouth!" Cassie shouts and throws a dish at Ophelia.
She catches it of course and puts it back on the table, "Specifically the one about not fucking your boyfriend in the house when you dunno when people are going to come home."
"Shut up!"
"It's no secret, you two look like bloody leopards!"
Freddie groans, "Can we not talk about my sister's sex life?"
Ophelia sits up and leans closer to Freddie, "We can talk about mine if you want. See Ash likes when I curl my fingers like..."
"lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalaaaaa I can't hear you!" Freddie sings covering his ears.
"Fine! Fine, if you don't want to learn how to make Evie's eyes roll to the back of her head then don't listen to my stories."
"I can get her eyes rolling to the back of her head just fine on my own thank you very much. At least I'm not scared of having my girlfriend around my family." Freddie snaps back.
"Does Evie know that you're calling her your girlfriend and not your fiancé?"
Dad comes out of the kitchen with two glasses of red current wine. He passes one to Freddie and sits down with us, "What're we yelling about in here?"
We all look at each other awkwardly. I mean I wasn't the one talking about it but I don't want to tell Dad what the others were talking about.
"I want the talk!" Annie shouts, "You gave it to Theo why can't you give it to me!"
Dad's eyes go wide and he chokes on his wine, "No, no darling. You'll get the talk from Mum in let's say... twelve years. Come back in twelve years and we can schedule a time to reconsider."
"Then I'll be twenty-four! No one else had to wait that long for theirs!" Annie is on the brink of throwing a temper tantrum and we can all see that.
Scorpius comes out of the kitchen with his own glass of wine, "You don't want the talk kid trust me. When Dad gave me mine it took like four hours."
"Dad gave me mine acting like he and Mum weren't running around Hogwarts doing it since they were like fourteen," Freddie says taking a drink from his cup, "He made it seem like they waited for marriage." He stops for a minute, looks at his cup, "Now I'm worried if I've done it in the same room that they've done it... I need something stronger than wine, excuse me."
Freddie gets up and ruffles Annie's hair as he passes her. Annie glares at the back of Freddie's head then looks at all of us, "DONE WHAT!?" She shouts.
Dad, Theseus, Cass, Scor, and Leah all start laughing which doesn't help Annie and her feelings very much.
"Mummy!" Annie screams as she runs into the kitchen where Mum and Uncle Draco are, "Mummy! I want the talk!"
"Oi, how are you and Al?" Ophelia asks Scorpius. He hands her his cup of wine and she takes a drink when Dad isn't looking.
"We're good yeah. He wants me to officially move into his flat but I don't think I could leave Dad all alone in that huge house." He takes his cup back from Ophelia and waits till Dad gets up and goes into the kitchen to give it to Cass.
"Wait, I thought you two were already moved in together?" Cassie asks before passing the cup to Theseus.
Scorpius shrugs, "Yes and no. I mean I helped him buy the flat and furnish it so in that sense yes it's ours. But I haven't moved my entire life there yet. Dad's been better recently, I don't want to destroy that. It's bad enough that I've got to head out for the quidditch season after this week but to leave Dad completely? I..." He lets his sentence trail off.
"You're playing for the Falmouth Falcons yeah?" Theseus asks Scorpius. He hands me the now communal cup of wine but I pass.
Scorpius nods, "Yeah, not my first choice by any means but it keeps me relatively close to home, unless we make it to worlds..."
"You know I love you, but the Falcons haven't made it to worlds in years," Ophelia says, "After that loss with the Canons the teams gone downhill."
"Oi don't start that shit with me," Scorpius says, "I made it onto a professional team. More than you can say."
Ophelia puts one finger up and gets up from the sofa and goes into her room. She comes back not half a second later with a bundle of letters in her hands.
"Dear Miss Ophelia Weasley, we at the Appleby Arrows quidditch team located in England will like to offer you a keepers position pending on your Hogwarts grades...
Dear Miss Ophelia Weasley, it has come to our attention that you are a talented keeper on your house team. Please consider booking a meeting with our coach for the Montrose Magpies after your Hogwarts graduation..."
She goes on to read the beginning of at least eight different letters from professional quidditch teams and drops each of them into Scorpius' lap as she does.
Appleby Arrows wants her.
Montrose Magpies wants her.
Puddlemore United wants her.
Holyhead Harpies wants her.
Pride of Portree wants her.
Wimbourne Wasps wants her.
Wigtown Wanderers wants her.
Kenmare Kestrels wants her as their first woman on their team... ever.
Eight out of the thirteen national teams in the UK want my sister to play for them and she hasn't told anyone about any of this before today. She sits back down with a confident 'what now?' smirk on her face as she watches Scorpius read each and every letter that she dropped into his lap.
"Ophelia..." He says.
She cocks her head to the side, "What were you on about again? Something about... at least I made it onto a team...?"
Theseus snatches a few letters away from Scorpius and he and Cassie read through them, "I didn't even know that teams have started scouting our games yet? That usually happens in May!" He looks up from the letters and to Ophelia, "Bruv what the fuck?"
"Language please!" Mum calls from the kitchen.
Ophelia shrugs but the cocky smirk never leaves her face, "They've been watching me play for years, says so in their letters. One of em... I think it was the Wasps said that they had my eye on me since before my injury and they were scared that it was going to take me out of the game for the rest of my life."
Scorpius whistles, "Right so who are you saying yes to then? Cause you're the most sought after Hogwarts quidditch player since..."
"Since Oliver Wood. Dominique and Aunt Gin combined didn't get this many offers. I mean Godric tits man the first female player on the Kenmare Kestrels? How bloody iconic would that be? My name would live on for generations."
"So that's the one you're going with then?" Scor asks.
Ophelia pouts her lip a bit and shakes her head no, "I don't want to play quidditch for the rest of my life."
"You're mad," I turn to face her and she rolls her head around so she's looking at me too, "All these offers and you're just gonna say 'Nah not for me?' If Mum and Dad knew about this..."
"They're not going to know. I'm not telling them any time soon. Are you lot?" She looks around at us and when no one says anything she smiles, "See? They're not going to know about any of it. I'll go off and fight big bad magical beings till it's my time to take over the shops."
"Dinner!" Mum calls from the kitchen.
We all get up and scramble to get to the kitchen first. All except Cass and Theseus who by the looks of things, Theseus is helping Cassie walk and making crude jokes about it under his breath causing both of them to blush like mad.
Cause there are more people here than normal, the table is nearly impossible to sit at but we wouldn't have it any other way. Freddie accidentally elbows me in the head as he reaches for the potatoes and everyone but me seems to think it's the funniest thing in the world.
"So we're going to give the baby your name Dray," Mum says once we're all eating food, "As a middle name so there's no confusion."
Uncle Draco smiles the biggest I've ever seen him smile since Aunt Astoria passed I think, "Honest?"
"Honest," She puts her hand on his and smiles, "If it was a girl her name would have been Astoria no doubt about it. But these bloody Weasley genetics have a thing for males."
Uncle Draco smiles and his eyes are glistening with tears, "Only took you what? Six kids, to name one after me? Aunt Andromeda got one before I did."
"Mate I gave birth to Annabeth in Aunt Andromeda's house. Excuse me if I thought it was a little insensitive to name her anything but."
"Right well you could have stopped by mine when you were on the way to Saint Mugos to have Theo and then they could have a killer middle name instead of...
I sigh, "Walter..."
Uncle Draco puckers his lips, "Okay well actually that's a great name Walter is a fantastic bloke. I used to fancy him when we were all younger."
Mum laughs and lets go of Uncle Draco's hand, "You used to fancy my best friend?"
"Oh for sure I used to fancy Walter."
Ophelia smiles, broccoli is stuck in her teeth and Freddie reaches over to try and pick it out for some strange reason. Those two have a weird bond. "Uncle Draco and Uncle Wally. I could never imagine that."
Uncle Draco shrugs, "Well all my friends were in love with Violet at some point so I thought it was justified that I fancied one of her friends."
Dad coughs and takes a drink of water, "Your friends were in love with Violet? Which ones?"
"Yeah Uncle Dray, which ones?"
"Please don't answer that. I don't want to know which one of your friends wanted to date my Auntie." Scorpius says.
Uncle Draco ignores his son and smiles, "Christ, who didn't fancy you. Pansy, Blaise, Crabbe, Goyle, Theo, I think Millicent had a thing for you at some point too. And don't even get me started on all of the people who weren't my friends trying to become my friends just so that they might have had a chance with you."
"Wait hold on..." I say, everyone's attention turns to me instead of Mum's blushing face and Dad's sort of annoyed eyes, "Some bloke named Theo fancied my Mum... who now has a kid named Theo..."
Cassie and Theseus both clap their hands over their mouths and try their best not to laugh at what I just said.
Ophelia doesn't try to hide it and laughs like it was the funniest thing she's ever heard in her entire life.
Dad looks at Mum with a tilted head, "Well, you are the one that picked their name love. Care to explain?"
"It was a homage to Nymphadora Tonks! I swear on my life!"
Uncle Draco throws his hands up in defeat, "Nymphadora Tonks got and I haven't! She didn't even like you!"
"Yeah, but she died," Mum says like it's obvious.
Uncle Draco scoffs and looks away from the table like he's on that muggle show that Freddie and Ophelia watch called The Office and the entire table erupts into laughter, "I could die too you know."
Mum smiles, and before she says it I already know what the next words coming out of her mouth are going to be,
"Just in time for this little one to be named after you."