Bulletproof passengers
On the road to sex, drugs, etcetera
Get out the dark and into the light
"Ow! That hurts you fucking twat!" I hissed when Harry purposely dug the tweezer deeper into the wound than he should have. He looks like a nervous wreck while doing this, it is very funny.
"I told you it wasn't fucking ready!" He spit back making me laugh. "I'm not trying to jab it into you, I can't get this stitch."
"You are fine, Harry." I sighed as he messed around with the single stitch before finally grabbing it. "Just hurry up, we don't have much time and I need to change and do my makeup."
We had around ten minutes before we needed to be back down in the car, and Harry was taking his sweet time on removing these stitches. Thankfully he found a first aid kit, so I could bandage it once they were removed.
His tongue was sticking out of the corner of his mouth as he concentrated making a smile come over my face as I watched him. His shirtless body hovered over my leg as he worked.
His skin was tan from Hawaii, making the tattoos more prominent than before. The ink that littered his skin was unique and full of special designs. Some of them are even questionable.
I liked the butterfly one a lot. It was the one that caught my attention the most. Right in the center of his chest, it's wings spread open like a book of words that meant something to him.
Or the swallows that rested on his collarbones. They were simple but elegant. I wonder what those two meant to him? I know about the butterflies partially, but not the swallows.
My eyes raked down his body at the sight of him kneeling on the side of the bed. My sight was lost in his image that was presented in front of me. I was lost in his presence, his figure being the only thing on my mind.
"Finished." Harry spoke snapping me out of my thoughts. I sat up to look at the scar that was rough and still fresh. I definitely should have given it another day or two, but Harry doesn't need to know that.
Gauze would help protect it for the next couple of days. I watched as Harry reached around in the kit to find some stuff to disinfect and bandage it. He pulled a large piece of gauze before moving back to my leg.
It was around a three inch scar that would now be part of me forever. They must have had some pretty tough bullets to do that much damage. It looked really cool, I've never understood why people hate their scars. It shows who they are and how they came to be.
Each scar tells a story. This one has its own very interesting story, and would be quite the story to tell one day. I don't think a normal human being would believe it.
"Thank you." I spoke up as he placed the gauze down to cover the raw and exposed skin. "You did a very good job. You should be a doctor."
"Three careers. That would be a lot, don't you think?" He joked as I helped him clean up all of the supplies. We didn't have much time, but I still needed to get dressed and put makeup on.
"There's no such thing as too many careers." I laughed as I grabbed my clothes and makeup bag and followed him into the bathroom. We both washed our hands before I grabbed the pile of clothes and turned to him.
"I'm changing just so you know." I warned him as I moved my hands to the hem of his hoodie. "Unless you want a free show you can leave."
"Nothing I haven't seen." He mocked my words from the other day making me shake my head as I pulled the hoodie over my head. His scent was still laced in it. "You were only in your panties about five seconds ago."
"Alright, please yourself." I sighed when the hoodie was finally over my head. "Do you want it back?"
I balled up the hoodie and held it out towards him. It felt like the right thing to do, even though earlier he said he didn't want it.
"No, keep it." He said pushing the hoodie back towards me. I set it down on the counter and grabbed the jeans and shirt I had brought over. I slipped on the dark clothing and looked in the mirror realizing I looked pretty emo in all black.
Dark like my soul. Kidding...
"You know it's almost seventy degrees outside?" Harry asked as I leaned over the countertop to brush mascara on. My eyes met him and looked deep into him, I know he's trying to push my buttons.
"Did you know that you choked me so hard I have bruises covering my neck?" I spit back before looking into the mirror again. I heard him chuckle under his breath knowing he got what he wanted.
"I did know that, actually." He hummed coming up closer behind me to grab my hips and lean over to meet my ear. "And I'll do it again."
"Jesus fuck, Harry!" I said turning around and swatting him. "Are you always horny?"
"Mmm, only with you." He thought about the question before giving me an answer with a cheesy smile. I shook my head and pushed out of the bathroom.
"Put a shirt on for the love of god." I groaned noticing he was still walking around with no shirt on. "We are already five minutes late, and I'm not missing this car."
"Do you want me to put a shirt on because I'm so distracting?" He pushed and I rolled my eyes and grabbed some flannel that was laying on the bed and threw it at him. "Oh man did I make you angry?"
He asked when I hit him in the face with the shirt and just pushed around him and grabbed the shoes I had thrown off at some point. He had a devilish smirk on his face as he watched me.
"No Harry, you didn't." I deadpanned looking into his eyes as he fumbled with the buttons of the flannel. "Now I'd like it if you'd hurry up so we aren't super late, please."
I added the please so he knew I wasn't mad and a small smile took over his frown. He popped open the top two buttons of his flannel exposing some of my favorite tattoos.
The shirt was dark, and almost purple but it looked worn in and homey. It reminded me of my fathers flannel I still had. It was a comfort item to me.
It was also one of the only things I had left of him. After he died and I was taken, by the time I was free and went back to the house it was completely destroyed. It was nothing more than an abandoned piece of shit.
I wish I got to spend more time in that house. So many events happened there. I thought that was a bad part of my life living there and what had happened, but I would do anything to have that be the worst thing that happened to me.
I wish I could just see my dad one more time, give him one more hug and thank him for being so strong for me. For holding up for me and teaching me everything my mother couldn't because she wasn't there.
"Indiana, you coming?" Harry's thoughts broke me out of my trance and I looked over to see him at the door. He was holding it open as he watched me.
"Yeah, sorry." I said quietly as I grabbed my stuff off of the bed. "I'm going to throw this stuff in my room real quick."
He gave me a nod as he held the door open for me and I stepped out of it and over to my room. As I threw my stuff onto the bed, I grabbed the pass I had almost forgotten.
This pass was always a hassle. I don't know why I need it on at all times, but hopefully it's not because I would get shot without it. That's honestly probably why but I'm going to believe it's not.
I shut my door with a click and met Harry as he leaned against the wall near the elevator. He had put his usual sunglasses on, which were becoming so normal to me.
"Are you ever going to tell me why you always wear the sunglasses?" I asked as we stepped onto the elevator. I stood on the opposite side from him and watched him closely.
"Maybe one day." He shrugged looking up from his phone to look at me. "Are you ever going to tell me why you don't like pictures?"
My breathing instantly hitched and I took a sharp inhale. His words caught me off guard, and I knew I definitely was not at the point of ever being able to tell anyone why.
"Maybe one day." I repeated his words, trying to calm my breathing so he wouldn't notice how much that affected me.
"It's okay, sorry to bring it up." He said nervously and he ran his hand through his hair. "Do you not trust me?"
"I don't trust anyone, Harry. I can't even trust myself." I said honestly knowing how badly my trust had been destroyed. "Don't take it to heart."
"I'm not, I understand." He said with a nod as the door opened with a ding. "You'll be able to trust me one day."
I gave him a smile at his words hoping they could be true one day, but a part of me thinks they never will be. We stepped out of the elevator and were met with the normal security.
A lot of this job felt so repetitive. It is always the same stuff over and over. Every day and every show is the same. Not that I don't enjoy it, it just gets boring. I like that feeling of doing something new.
"Styles, you are late." One of the men with a stern look warned Harry and I watched as his jaw clenched. "The car is outside, the boys are waiting."
Harry gave the man a nod as he continued to walk through the lobby. There was a decent size group of fans outside, who were desperate to see the band. I ducked my head as the doors opened and we walked through the mass of fans and into the car. We filled into our usual seats, Harry and I migrating to the back row as we drove off.
It was a quick drive. Nobody talked or made big conversation. I think everyone is tired, I know they don't usually have a show like this. Our schedule was also very messed up from the time change and it would have to be a quick run through today.
When we got to the venue Spencer was running around frantically trying to get everything ready for tonight. I parted ways with the boys when they went to sound check, skipping out on it today.
I could feel the music booming through the SAP Arena of San Jose as I set up the racks of clothing. I have some OCD, so I tend to find it the easiest if I have it separated by each boy's wardrobe. It always seems to get messed with which pisses me off, but oh well. At least I get to spend some time alone fixing it.
The boys would be back any minute, so I found myself flopping down onto the couch and pulling my phone out. I had let Hugo know I would call him tomorrow morning, which I was a little nervous for.
He's been pretty quiet, and I have a feeling something is going on between our two mafias. I hope there isn't because I really don't need even more shit to start and risk getting caught.
"Indiana!" My thought bubble was burst by the swing of a door and the one and only Niall. "We missed you darling, it was such a good sound check."
"Good thing we have about seventy more of them." I gave him a fake smile as they all piled into the room carrying alcohol as they came. Harry and Zayn sat on either side of me as the usual ritual of passing the alcohol around started.
Today was tequila. Very strong tequila, but very familiar taste. Harry wrapped his arm around the back of the couch wanting to feel close to me but not making it too obvious.
I listened as they made conversation and just kept to myself for about twenty minutes. When I looked at the clock I realized we were starting to run behind and needed to get going.
"Who wants to get dressed first?" I asked standing up from the couch and setting the bottle down onto the table.
"I will." Zayn volunteered and stood up next to me. I walked over to the racks of clothing and I could feel Harry's stare on us the entire time.
"He's staring." Zayn whispered under his breath as I handed him some jeans, a t-shirt, and a leather jacket to top it off. He has a much more artistic vibe, I like it.
"I can tell." I whispered back as I adjusted the jacket and pulled a pair of sneakers up from the ground. "He's jealous."
"Oh he is." Zayn said seriously in response to my joke and I just shook my head. I gave him a pat on the shoulder to let him know he was all set and moved onto the next boy.
Harry was last, much like he was most of the time. The other boys were easy to dress, picking simple pieces to match their personality. Liam didn't speak a word to me, which I guess was better than chatting it up.
"Mr. Styles," I mocked when I snuck up behind Harry as he sat on his couch on the phone. My lips were touching his ear as I whispered. "It's your turn."
"Lovely." He said with a grin as he stood up from the couch and moved to the corner of the room with me. The other boys were bored and fiddling around with whatever they could find.
"What's the outfit choice tonight?" I asked digging through the racks before turning to him. "Anything special?"
"Never." He groaned as he stood with his hip jutted out and staring at me. "Just the basics."
"Alright." I said stepping closer to him and giving him a sweet smile. His unique scent was strong through my nose as I stood under his presence.
"Your hands are fucking freezing!" Harry hissed when I brought my hands up to play with the buttons on his flannel. "Why are they always so cold?"
"Have you ever thought about maybe I'm cold?" I asked with a laugh. These rooms were always super air conditioned and I got cold easily.
"Why didn't you say something, I would've given you my flannel sooner!" He said like he was hurt by the fact I didn't say something and I just shook my head.
"I don't need your flannel." I said as he pulled it off his shoulders and tried to put it on my arms. He was trying to shove my arms into as I stayed limp, but he was determined.
"Yes you do!" He said back as he situated the shirt on my body. "It adds a little color to your life."
"Oh wow thanks." I groaned as I pulled a black t-shirt off one of the racks and handed it to him. "You seem to love having your shirt off today."
"So do you." He pushed back and I laughed before turning away from him. I turned back to the rest of the boys and somewhere they found food. I don't know where they find half of this stuff.
I sat back down onto the couch, taking the bottle of tequila back into my possession. I just feel down right now, nothing happened, but I'm just having a day.
It's been a long day, and it isn't over yet. I have a lot of things on my mind and starting shows again felt like it added a million pounds of stress.
And that is why I am here now, chugging a bottle of tequila while five young men run around like a bunch of toddlers. Keeping to myself as I watched everything unfold around me.
"Ten minutes to stage! We need you boys." Spencer's banging on the door intruded my brain and I came back to reality. The boys groaned and threw everything down that they were using before standing up. They were always such a mess?
"Are you coming?" Louis asked when they opened the door to exit my dressing room.
"I'll meet you guys out there in a second, I need to clean up some stuff." I said with a fake smile as they started to pile out of the room. I stayed sitting on the couch resting my head in my hands and taking a deep breath.
I honestly don't even know what I'm doing anymore. I feel so happy one moment and like this is the right thing to do, but the next I feel like I'm screwing Harry up more than he already is and am ruining this job.
I feel so confused over everything. I'm trying to shut out anything other than how I truly feel, but my brain never shuts down. It's always what if, and screaming and me that I don't deserve this and shouldn't do this.
I want to do this though. I really want to do this for some reason even though it is so wrong. I can see how different I am with Harry.
It feels like I'm repeating the same shit in my head over and over again, and I pretty much am, but I just want to shut it out. I want to be able to close off the past and just take in the future but I can't.
I sighed and stood up from the couch to move over to the dresser to clean up some of the stuff laying around. I just wanted a few seconds to breathe and collect myself. It's a hard week and I get overwhelmed easily.
I heard the door creek open, and I expected Harry to walk in so I didn't move. I was taken by surprise when I turned around and saw Zayn standing at my door with a sad smile.
"Hi, Zayn." I said with a smile feeling relieved it was him. Not that I didn't want to see Harry, I'm just so overwhelmed with everything going on with him. I feel like Zayn is that person I can just talk to, he doesn't care.
"What's wrong, Indie?" He asked, stepping into the room and shutting the door. I set the stuff I was messing with down and turned so I was completely facing him. "You got really quiet, I'm worried."
"I'm okay, Zayn." I said crossing my arms over my chest to hug myself tight as my body swam in Harry's flannel. "Really. This is just a really hard week for me, and I don't like being in big groups."
"Me and you are a lot alike." He laughed as he sat on the arm of the couch. "But I'm here for you, just know that. Are you struggling with the Harry stuff?"
"I'm just confused." I said honestly. "Not about my feelings for him, I know they are there. I just feel like I can't let myself do this even though I should."
"This is something good, you should take the chance-" He started to speak but was cut off by banging on the door.
"Zayn are you in there? You have two minutes to get out here!" I heard Spencer rip through the door making me chuckle.
"I know, Zayn." I sighed pushing off from the counter and taking my phone to put in my back pocket. "It's just hard to accept it and let it happen."
"Indiana," He said empathetically as he stood up and moved towards the door. "Just know that whatever happens, we'll be alright."
"Thank you." I said with a shy smile as I walked out of the room and he wrapped his arm around my shoulder. "You will be alright too, I can see you struggle sometimes, but I'll always be here."
He just gave me a nod like he understood what I meant as we were faced with the rest of the boys. They were acting as they usually would, Niall and Louis smacking each other, and Liam and Harry being quiet.
"Glad you are joining us." Harry said wrapping his arms around me when Spencer called the one minute warning and the boys started to disappear to their places.
"Just had to clean up some stuff." I said as I wrapped my arms around him tightly taking in his scent. He was so warm and peaceful to be close to.
"Okay," He said like he knew I was lying but ignored it. "Can I have a kiss before I go on stage?"
"With all these people around?" I laughed pulling my head back from his chest to look up and meet his eyes. His height was very intimidating sometimes.
"Who cares?" He asked and I laughed. "So a kiss?"
I nodded and he pressed his lips against mine very softly. It was quick but passionate, just embracing each other for a second. He pulled back shyly and had flushed cheeks.
I looked into his green eyes giving him another squeeze before talking again. I knew we didn't have any time left to speak, but I did.
"Go put on a show for me."