Peter Parker Oneshots

Agent (request)

I stand by the idea that Peter Parker, Wade Wilson, and Matt Murdock (spellcheck?) have a group chat called the Alliteration Club, because it's ironic. Matt occasionally tries to change it to the Alliteration Association, but Peter won't let him. The ringtone on Peter's phone for both of the other two is the song "Ironic." Wade likes to rub it in Peter's face that he is more alliterative than Peter. Peter named Wade the World Wide Web on his contacts. Matt is named "scary lawyer." That's it.

On the topic of Marvel, I still don't own it, but I have a teeshirt with Spider-Man on it, so I have some authority to be able to write one-shots. Just don't give me credit for the characters, or their backstories, or really anything not totally unique to this story.

This was requested by @dust2till2dawn according to the screenshot I conveniently took for this request, but didn't do for many others. This is like the first request I actually have a name for in a while, isn't it? Anyways, hope you enjoy!!!

Warnings: Language.

"Agent Parker."

"Uncle Nick." Peter smirked as he stepped into the office, closing the door behind him. "You called for me?"

Fury just glared at the teen. He wouldn't admit it, but he enjoyed being called Uncle Nick by the teen. He did have a reputation to uphold, though.

"I have a mission for you."

"I'm sure you do." Peter swung his feet onto Fury's desk. Fury pushed them off, almost making the teen fall out of his chair.

"I need you to get close to the Avengers and keep them in line. I don't care whether they know you are an agent or not, I just care that they don't explode. Tensions are running high between them." Fury pushed a file towards his youngest agent and pseudo-nephew.

"Okay...any reason why me, specifically?" Peter grabbed the file, opening it to find a piece of paper that simply said, 'Just Do It, kid. No one cares how.' He snorted.

"You are a kid. They'll trust you easier, even if they know you are an agent." Fury sighed before continuing in a reluctant tone. "And, you can probably calm tensions better than anyone else. Those damn puppy eyes." He muttered the last bit.

Peter grinned. His puppy eyes were his best weapon, but with great power comes great responsibility, so he only pulled them out when necessary. Like right now.

"Uncle Nick, if I'm going to do this, I'm going to need a phone, I mean—"

"Sure, whatever. Talk to Phil, he'll get you one." Fury groaned. He kind of expected that to be honest. Peter had been dropping hints about a phone for months. He was upset that every teenager other than him had one, but he had to use walky-talkies.

Peter first-pumped excitedly. The motion was coupled with a victorious "Yeah!"

"Get going," Fury waited until Peter was mostly at the door before fondly muttering, "Brat."

*****

After collecting his first ever phone, Peter took some time to play around on it. It was the newest model of Starkphone, complete with an iris scan to unlock and one of the best cameras on the market. Peter screwed around for a while, downloading ever social media app he had ever heard of, naming every one of his accounts peterparkour or bi_derman.

Finally, he headed out to Stark Towers to start his mission. When he got there, he double-checked his outfit—a pair of jeans and a shirt that said "I was going to tell a sodium and hydrogen pun, but NaH." Satisfied, he walked through the lobby and met Phil.

"This is your pass. Since you decided they can know you are an agent, I've already told them and Stark gave you level 9 access. That'll let you anywhere but his personal lab." Phil handed Peter a card with his name in silver. "FRIDAY will let you up. Just say where you need to be."