Our Dance: Shawn Mendes ✔️

81

Shawn Mendes
-next morning

Haven coos loudly, kicking his chubby legs up and letting them fall since he had no control over his body.

He was in between me and Lila since she went to bed first, placing Haven between us so I couldn't roll over to her side and she couldn't come close to me.

My heart was yearning for her. I wanted to say all the right things to her but I don't know what the right words are to say. I don't know how she's feeling and I don't know how to make this right. How do I gain back my Lila that I love so dearly?

"Morning baby"

For a second I thought she was talking to me but I see her tiredly smile down at haven, bringing her fingers to the small amount of hair on his head.

I turn completely towards her, my head buried in the pillow as I look adoringly at my fiancé and baby interact.

"Lila-" just my luck, her phone rings loudly cutting me off. She grabs her phone and sits up on the bed.

"Hi dad" she sighs softly. As she talks on the phone I hesitantly bring my hand to her back, I just wanted to touch her and surprisingly she let me. My fingers mess with the hem of the oversized shirt and I tuck my hand under it, touching her soft skin. My fingers tracing random patterns on her back.

"My dads coming over, so is Carmen" She lets me know, glancing back down at Haven.

"You want me to cook?" I ask her. She shakes her head no, "I'll do it. I'll feed Havey now too" her voice quiet and monotone. She moves so my hand slips off of her body. She takes haven getting up, leaving me alone in our bed.

-
"Shawn's back!" Luke, Lila's dad exclaims pulling me into a firm hug. "Nice to see you again" I pull back from the hug.

I'm guessing she hadn't told him anything or Taylor, they both hugged me tightly but then there was Carmen.

"You're back" Carmen looks me up and down with her judgy eyes. "I am-"

"Carmen! Eli!" Lila hops in front of me, pulling Carmen into a hug. "Come on, lets go to the living room" Lila pulls along Carmen.

Eli shakes his head at me, "she's very hormonal. Don't mind her."

"I guess Lila is too, she won't even look at me" I sigh walking beside Eli.

"I mean she has every right to be angry" Eli says and I stop in my tracks. Eli realises and looks back at me, "you have no idea, do you?" Eli sighs, cocking his head to the side.

"About what?"

"I'm not supposed to say well because Lila told Carmen, girl code, then Carmen told me, husband code but I'm surprised you've not noticed yourself" Eli's worried voice makes my skin tingle because I was afraid of what I didn't know.

"Can we talk? Outside maybe?" I ask him. Eli nods then follows my lead.

"Just gonna talk about work for bit outside" I tell everyone as I walk out to the balcony before anyone could say anything. Eli follows me and sits opposite me on the grey outdoor sofa.

"She's angry at me?" I ask him.

He shakes his head no, "I wouldn't say angry, she more— she's more upset, feeling low and lonely. You were only gone for a week or so and she's had the worst week of her life"

"Worst week of her life? She's gone through hell and back before"

"Exactly. She's done it so many times with you leaving to marry another woman, with having to deal with abuse, then everything that went on during her pregnancy. She's done it before, she's tired of things going wrong-"

"What happened?" I cut him off. I wanted to know right away what happened that could've topped the other things.

Eli runs his hand through his long curls, sighing in frustration. "Are you alright? Are you completely oblivious to what's going on with your own fiancé-"

"Just tell me so I can stop being oblivious then" I shoot harshly.

"She's been throwing up nearly every night, she cries herself to sleep, she has people body shaming her and slamming her for being a bad mother. She's filled with anxiety and she goes about her day like everything is normal... her dad almost had a heart attack, you know how much that broke her? On top of all the rumours that you're now single and happier?" I was almost scared of Eli, he was at the edge of his seat lecturing me.

He shakes his head at me disappointingly, "I love her like my sister and if you're making her unhappy I'll be more than happy to tell her to leave you if that means she'll get better and be happier-"

"Leave me? Who are you to tell her that?-"

"You don't even know what's going on with her. Do you even care about her?" He scoffs getting up.

"Yeah I do!" I get up, my blood boiling.

"I don't think you do" Eli says casually then walks back inside. I follow him, arms crossed over my chest.

"Eli, honey-"

"We're leaving, come on" Eli cuts Carmen off.

"You just got here" Lila says quickly, as if she didn't want to be alone with me. "Lila, talk to him" Eli places a gentle hand on Lila's shoulder.

She gulps glancing at me then back at Eli, he hugs her tightly then takes Carmen's hand leading her out.

"We can leave too, if you want" her dad stands up in front of her. "We should, it's fine Lila" Taylor gives her a faint smile.

"No, it's okay-"

"We have a dinner to get to anyway, we'll see you again soon" her dad pulls her into a hug, squeezing her softly as he kisses her forehead. I swear I see her eyes water, her chest heaves a little.

"O-okay" She mumbles, she follows them to the door and I wait in the living room, looking down at haven who was sound asleep in his cot.

My heart raced, I was terrified to be having this conversation now.

I heard the door shut and Lila walks back in with her head down, sniffling to stop herself from crying.

"Lila-" I shut myself up when she walks straight into my arms, wrapping her arms around my middle as she breaks down crying into my chest.

I relax at her touch, leaning my head against hers and I put one arm around her and my hand goes into her hair, gently massaging her scalp.

"It's okay love" I whisper over her pain filled cries.