Our Dance: Shawn Mendes ✔️

36

Lila Hamilton
-March 3rd

I got up before Shawn and went into the bathroom. It was hard leaving him in bed when he was so warm and cuddly but I had to pee. I got out the bathroom and grabbed my phone sitting beside a sleepy Shawn, I put one hand in his hair and go on my phone.

My comment section had exploded and it was horrible. The things people were calling me, a slut, fat, bloated and even pregnant. They think I look pregnant.

I felt my heart clench. Maybe I did eat a little too much the other day or I have put on some weight. I felt sick to my stomach. I leave Shawn's side and rush to the bathroom. I look at the mirror side on.

"Oh" I let out. I looked awful. The sight of myself made me feel sick, everyone's comments in my head. I find myself leaning over the toilet throwing up, the feeling in my stomach not going away. "Fuck" I mumble. I sit to the side leaning against the wall as tears roll down my cheeks.

"Lila?" Shawn calls me groggily. I don't reply hoping he'd go back to sleep. I put my head in hands and let out an uncontrollable whimper as I start crying.

"Oh baby, What happened?"

I look up to Shawn looking down at me sadly he flushes the toilet then sits in front of me, rubbing my leg up at down. I then realise what I'm wearing, this bralette is doing me no favours, I don't know what was running through my head when I put it on. I put my arms around my body looking away from Shawn.

"Hey, come here" he pulls me into his arms, rubbing my back soothingly. "Can I have a minute?" I ask him.

"Yes of course, I'll erm order breakfast" he kisses the top of my head. He gets up leaving me and I get up brushing my teeth.

Why was I letting this get to my head. I'm a trained dancer, I'm healthy and I know it. I'm starting to feel happy, I can't do this, I can't let this get to me.

I wash up and then leave the bathroom to immediately be pulled into Shawn's arms. "Whatever it is, it's not worth your tears" he says softly. "You okay?" He moves back and cups my cheeks.

"Yeah I am" I nod. "Smile" he pokes my cheek. I give him a forced smile resulting in a laugh from him which makes me smile.

"Are you happy? Truly?" He asks.

Yes I am. I have such good friends. I have Shawn. I have dance. I have my family.

"I am, are you?" I ask. He nods leaning in, he twirls me around and presses his lips against mine. "Let's dance honey" he keeps his arm up and keeps spinning me around making me giggle.

"Lila?"

I hum a yes twirling back into his body and he's hugging me from behind, swaying us a little.

"I want to be your dance partner" he says softly.

I chuckle turning back around. "My dance partner?" I ask. "If you want that then you'll have to loosen up these hips" I joke.

"No like... a metaphorical dance partner" he nervous lets out.

"Oh. My dance partner" I gulp looking up at him. "I don't care what song is playing, It could be a song by Ed Sheeran or by Asap Rocky. I just want to be dancing with you" he says softly. My heart was going crazy and I'm sure he could tell by the grin on my face. He suddenly made my morning a whole lot better.

"I'd like you to be my dance partner too"

"Yeah?" He asks with a chuckle. I nod leaning up to peck his lips.

"Whatever you're going through, I'm here for you" his hand goes to the back of my head and he kisses my forehead. We stay like this for a little while then he pulls back.

"We need to get ready, you're gonna meet my friends at the studio today" he says excitedly. "And hear you sing?" I ask.

"Definitely" he nods.
-

"Brian!" I let go of Shawn's hand and run into Brian's arms. He wraps his arms around me chuckling. "You okay?" He asks me.

I nod pulling back. "I'm good, you?" I ask.

"As good as can be, Shawn my man" Brian goes up to Shawn hugging him. They both grin and pull back. "Lets go in, everyone's here" Brian pats Shawn's back as we head in.

Shawn slips his fingers between mine and I follow him. "Don't be nervous" he tells me quietly.

"I'm not- okay I am" I cut myself off mid sentence when he gives me a serious look. "I'm fine" I tell him. He made sure I took my medicine, it was something as simple as that making me fall for him even more.

As we walk in I recognise everyone from when we were at the gardens of the hotel. They all remembered me and were so kind. I took a seat on the leather brown sofa placed against the wall facing the studio. Shawn sat beside, his hand on my knee as he talked with his team.

"So what song are we releasing?" Andrew finally asks at the end of the fifteen minute conversation. Shawn glances back at me and I give him a quick smile before he turns around.

"How about If I Can't Have You?" Shawn asks nervously. I see all their faces light up. "What do you think Lila?" Teddy asks me.

"She's not heard it" Shawn quickly buts in. "Oh" Scott laughs a little and Shawn's cheeks heat up.

"What're you laughing at?" I chuckle cluelessly sitting up a little. "You're going to want to hear it" Andrew says cheekily turning away.

Shawn looks down at me, his blushing cheeks and sparkly eyes.

"What is it about?" I ask. Shawn gulps and before he answers Brian does. "It's about... well since Shawn is so stuck for words I'll explain. It's about when you want this person so bad that nothing else matters, being so hung up on them that the view in Toronto doesn't matter, the drinks won't wash away the thoughts. The girl, her name rhymes with... erm shy-la" Brian finishes and I find myself lost for words.

I look back at Shawn, his gaze still on me.

"Well can I hear it? I want to know why this 'shyla' is special" I bite down on my bottom lip trying to oppress my grin.

Shawn breathes out deeply then kisses my cheek. "She's special alright" he winks.