Our Dance: Shawn Mendes ✔️

76

Shawn Mendes
-next morning

Like the other times Lila had been upset with me, I slept alone.

She took Haven, a very poorly Haven and she slept on the sofa with him on her chest. Except I know she barely slept, I could hear her talking lovingly to Haven almost all night. And as much as I wanted to go to her, I wouldn't, I couldn't.

I was upset and she couldn't see it. She couldn't see why. I saw her cuddled up with a man- a man who wasn't me, with my son between them. Also, the man, Alex had been flirting with her and she knew. She knew that he was flirty towards her yet she did nothing and that's why I'm upset.

"I'm leaving" I hear Lila say quietly, as if she didn't want me to hear but it was force of habit.

I look up from my phone seeing her dressed, wearing a white sweater tucked into a plaid black and white skirt with black boots. She looked beautiful, I mean when does she not.

"Are you taking Haven?" I ask getting up, grabbing my grey sweats from the floor that I put on. She hums a "Yeah" keeping her eyes down at him in the stroller.

I walk over, leaning down to Haven. "Hey bubba" I coo, stroking his cheek with my thumb. "He doesn't look too well" Lila says behind me.

"He hasn't been well for a few days" I comment, standing back up to face her. "Really?" She asks softly, biting down on her bottom lip.

"Maybe you'd know if you'd been home" I let the words slip out of my mouth.

Her hazel eyes then look away from me and wordlessly she leaves with Haven.

I sigh sitting back down on the bed, feeling so useless and lost. How do I even fix this? What do I do? Or say?

Unexpectedly, Lila walks back in and I get up when I see she's walking towards me.

"We're going to talk when I'm back" she says assertively.

"Yeah?" I hesitantly put my hands on her hips. "Yeah, we are" She then leans up, small hands grabbing my face and she leans up pressing her lips against mine.

It takes me a second to adjust but I relax and snake my arms around her waist tighter, pushing her up against me as her lips work against mine carefully.

I felt my body relax at her touch. For a second, it all felt okay.

"Bye" she mumbles against my lips. "Bye" I take her face in my hands and press a longing kiss to her forehead before she leaves my arms.
-

To take my mind off of things I met up with the boys for lunch. It was nice, we were talking about music, my passion in life and it definitely got me distracted.

That was until Brian mentioned Lila.

"How is she doing? We've not seen her in ages" he says. "She's fine" I reply dryly.

"That definitely doesn't mean she's fine" Brian chuckles jokingly. "Well She is. Why does it matter anyway?" I suddenly get all crabby, I came here to take my mind off her for an hour or so, just so I could think clearly for when we talk.

"Because she's your fiancé" Brian says, in the obvious tone.

Everyone then falls silent, a terrible awkward silence.

"Can I get you anything else?" The waitress approaches our table, smiling down at me. "Erm can I get another coffee please?" I ask her.

"Of course" she nods, reaching for the empty plates on the side of the table, for a second she placed her hand on my shoulder to lean over then she pulls back. Looking down at me she licks her lips.

"If you need anything else let me know" she talks sweetly.

"Yeah, I will-" I chuckle a little, glancing at her name badge on her chest, "Millie" I say and she blushes.

"I'll be back with your coffee-"

"Shawn" I tell her and she nods then walks away, slightly swaying her hips.

"Dude!" Connor hits my arm making me pull away from Millie and look at him. "What?"

"What was that about?" He asks, furrowing his brows at me in confusion.

"What do you mean?" I shrug sitting back. "That was clearly something. You have a fiancé and child, Shawn" Andrew says firmly, giving me his eyes of disappointment.

"It's not like she remembers I'm her fiancé" I scoff. "You literally told us she wanted to talk with you though, clearly she has her heart set on you and only you" Andrew says and yes, he was right.

"I feel weird" I simply say.

"I think you just need reminding that you love her, you do love her, don't you?" Brian asks me.

"Obviously"

"Well then why are you being like this. All mopey and confused"

I look up at Brian, taking a deep breath. "I don't know... maybe it's the fact that she could leave me-"

"But she wouldn't-"

I quickly cut Brian off. "She could. I don't know that and neither do you... that Alex guy, he kinda looks like- and I hate to say it, he looks a little like Jasper" even saying his name sent shivers down my spine.

But it's true he did a little. What if she were to leave me for him? She's already defending him, spending time with him. Something could happen and it's the fear of not knowing what could happen that's scaring me and causing me to be such a mess.

"She hates jasper. Everyone knows that" Connor puts his hand on my shoulder comfortingly.

"You just need to be reminded that you love her, we all know you do. Plus, you can't let a small bump get in your way. You have a baby now too" Andrew says and rightfully so.

"Or maybe you need space, distance makes the heart grow fonder" Brian juxtaposes Andrew and now I'm left confused.