Our Dance: Shawn Mendes ✔️

77

Lila Hamilton
- later that day

"Are you feeling better bubs?" I ask Haven in my baby voice. He still wasn't any better so I skipped going to the studio, leaving it to Alex to take care of it and I took Haven to the doctor since it was honestly painful to him so poorly and not his usual bubbly self.

"Daddy's gonna be home soon" I tell haven as I rub a cream on his chest that would hopefully make him better. "And we can hang out. Tell him you have a cold but you'll get better soon. And hopefully mummy and daddy will be best friends again and we can sleep together and-and-" I stop myself from talking when I feel a knot in my throat.

"Arms up gorgeous boy" I put his little arms up and put him into a spider man onesie that my dad had gifted him. "Aww my little hero" I pick him up, resting him on my chest as I slightly bounce him as I walk to the living room.

"Oh Hey" Shawn walks in simultaneously. "Hi"

The air around us was so tense.

"I took Haven to the doctor. I texted you about it too" I tell him as he takes his shoes and jacket off. "You could've waited for me" He shoots.

"Well I went and they said he just has a cold and it should go away. I got this cream for him and a humidifier, something about keeping the air fresh" I explain.

"And you didn't go to the studio to meet Adam?"

"Alex" I correct him. "And no. He said he's fine doing it and he understands that I had to take haven"

"Right" he nods walking towards me. "Hey Havey" He coos putting his arms out to him. However, he stays glued to my chest, his head resting on my shoulder making my heart melt.

"He's just clingy because he's not well" I try to excuse. "Okay well I'm gonna shower" he quickly moves away from me.

I thought I left him on a good note, turns out I was wrong.

"Shawn?" I quickly call. He hums turning around to me. "We're still going to talk, right?" I ask hopefully.

"I've got some stuff to take care of then we can talk"

-
It's been about three hours and Shawn hasn't even stepped foot out of his studio space since he left the shower.

I waited patiently. I made dinner for us, I cleaned up, fed haven and now I've put him down to sleep. I really hoped Shawn was up to talk to me because I hated how we were right now.

"Shawn? Can I come in?" I say from outside the shut door but I get no response. "Shawn?"

Again, no response. I open the door seeing him typing away on his laptop, headphones on and I could sorta hear the music. I flick on the lights making him jump, he takes his headphones off and swivels in the chair.

"I called you" I say walking in. He simply nods turning back to his laptop.

So this is how it's going to be and I hate it.

I take a seat on the empty chair next to him, yet he doesn't move.

"Are you still busy?" I ask, feeling my heart clench. "What does it look like? I told you I had stuff to do" he keeps his eyes on his screen, I take a glance at the screen to see he was booking plane tickets for tomorrow.

"It's been hours and are you going somewhere?"

He then shuts the laptop, turning to me. "I think I should go to LA for a little while-"

"You think? Why?" I ask abruptly. "Lila, I have work to do there-"

"You're only just booking the tickets now, are you going alone?"

"Yeah i am-"

"Why? Are you seriously leaving because of one tiny thing-"

"Fucking hell" he mutters under his breath. "Stop cutting me off for gods sake!" He gets up, aggressively pushing his chair back.

"Why're you leaving? How long? Were you going to tell me?... I'm so confused Shawn, what happened? What d-did I do?" My voice breaks because I was overwhelmed by this randomness.

"I don't know Lila! I just need space!"

"Space? From me and your baby? A few days ago you were begging me to stay with you and not go to work! I've done nothing wrong and your going to another country!" I get up in front of him.

"Yes! Space from you! And should I take Haven with me?" He spits. "And a few days ago you weren't throwing yourself at another man. A few days ago you were all mine, here at home" he glares down at me, flames lighting his eyes.

"I still am yours" I inch closer but he steps away. "And I'm not throwing myself at him. He's helping me, that's all" I try my best to remain calm.

"It doesn't feel like you're mine" his voice then softens as do his honey eyes.

"I am. I always will be but you can't just think I suddenly don't love you when someone else talks to me-"

"But he wasn't just talking to you, was he?... just be honest with me Lila, am I not enough for you?"

That's when I truly felt my heart break. "Why would you ask me that?" I bring my hand up to wipe a tear that had rolled down my cheek.

He simply shrugs, averting his eyes down to the floor. "I have to pack"

"Don't go" my voice cracks as I attempt not to break down. "Please shawn" I move into him, taking his warm hands in mine. "Please, we'll work it out, whatever it is I'll fix it, just tell me how" I plead. I'm surprised I'm not on my knees begging him to stay, I truly mean it when I say he's the love of my life.

"Just three weeks"

"Just?" I scoff brokenly. "You won't be home for Christmas?"

"I'll be back before then. I just want a little space, that's what I want. If you love me then you'll give me that" he lifts his head to face me directly.

How dare he use my love for him to manipulate me right now.

I pull back nodding, wiping away at my tears. "Do you need help packing?"