Our Dance: Shawn Mendes ✔️

8

Lila Hamilton
- same day, evening

I'm fucking twenty three and crying over a man I had a simple dance with. I was hauled up in my room, under my duvet and I was crying. Like full blown crying but I was doing that annoying thing where I tired to hold it in resulting in small whimpering noises coming from my lips.

Why was this effecting me so much? Why couldn't I just tell him I like him?

Oh I know why, he's hard to read, I had no idea what he was feeling. He played everything off so cooly and he was slick and smooth about everything that I had to second guess if he was just being so touchy because of the dance or because he genuinely wanted to touch me.

"Lila?" I hear Carmen's voice. I quickly sit up wiping my eyes and I flatten my hair down just as she walks in. "Hey" she smiles flopping down beside me.

"Hey, is erm Eli here?" I ask her. She shakes her head no. "Work" she replies simply.

"Up for some yoga?" She asks.

"Not really in the mood" I shrug.

"Come on Lila, it'll help you control your mind and organise your thoughts. Just twenty minutes" she stands up putting her hand out. "Fine" I give her my hand and she drags me up. I loved that she didn't ask, I needed her not to ask because I knew she'd give me her opinion and I'd let it get to my head. Right now I needed to figure out if I truly did like Shawn and what I was going to do about it.

-
Tuesday rolled on. I deeply regretted cancelling the lesson on Thursday because I genuinely missed Shawn. I don't even know if he came for another random talk because I didn't go to the studio the rest of the week. It's stupid I know but I've never liked a boy so much. My simple crush was dwelling over me.

I shove my hair up and spray myself with some perfume before I head out the door. The journey to work never felt so long. I felt as if I'm confronting a long lasting demon, like why do I say? How do I act? Do I act different at all?

"I thought you weren't going to come"

The voice familiar to my ears spoke up as I walked into the studio. "Why would I miss one of our lessons?" I ask with slight humour in my voice just to lighten the already tense air.

"You haven't been here since Wednesday" he simply replies as he pushes himself off he ground. His tall stance watching over me as I grab my water from my bag.

"How would you know?" I ask turning to him, he was so effortlessly attractive that it was overwhelming and I'm completely drawn to him like a moth to a flame.

"I came here on Saturday just to talk, I like the talks we have. Anyway, you weren't here so I asked this other guy and he said you hadn't been here and told me to try the next day. So I came again on Sunday, this time with a bottle of red, sweet how you like it"

I follow his sweet words that roll from his tongue. God, I could listen to him all day.

"And you're not here and then Monday the same, I was excited to show you that I've learned our dance but you weren't here" he shoves his hands in his pockets as his eyes fix me, he was ready for me to reply but I was so fricken' happy that he was coming back here for me. That he could've been doing anything but he came back here, for me.

I simply smile walking over to him and like second nature he puts his arms out and I grasp onto him like I never have, whilst his toned arms wrap around my middle. He smelt so good, his musky, manly scent was so heavenly. My mind started to wander how happy I would be if I got to roll over in bed, see his cute face in the early morning, breathe in deeply and just smile because he's beside me.

Call me a fool for knowing him for such a short time and I've already fallen hard for him.

"I'm sorry, my friend needed me" I lie but he believed me. "Sorry I sound so needy, I know you have a personal life" he says still holding me.

"Let's just sit and talk" My feet go flat and my hand moves down his silk soft arm, I take good notice of his beautiful tattoos covering his skin, I wished to stare at them longer but his grin makes me grow shy and I move my fingers till they're linked with his.

I look up at him and he nods for me to move. So I do, I move us so we're now sat at the steps. I'm about to cross my legs over each other but his large hand takes my thighs wordlessly, I watch as he moves my legs so they're over his. A comforting feeling washes over me, I liked being close to him and by the looks of it he liked being close to me.

"I'm sorry for that... I just like talking to you" he says gently. "It's fine, I like listening" I give him a smile.

His lips curve into a smile resulting in my heart fluttering. Surely this meant something, a simple smile was making me act like a love sick fool.

"Can I?" He asks. "Talk" He finishes. I nod for him to continue. I wanted him to talk to me hours on end.

"I don't really open up to my friends at all" he begins. As he starts talking I let my hand wander to his, our palms touch. He looks down for a second then intertwines our fingers leaving me smiling.

"I guess you're just easy to talk to, I have a feeling you won't judge me"

"I won't" I shake my head.

I was falling and falling.