Pretty When You Cry

Chapter 167

Lana's pov

"Baby i'm gonna sleep." Blake says kissing me "okay i'm coming later. Nighty" , then he says goodnight to Chuck and Jonathan. Charlie was already sleeping. We were still outside. Jonathan knew it's been so long i haven't seen Chuck so he said "I'm gonna go sleep too. You girls have a lot to catch up. If one of you need anything. You know where to find me.
- Thanks John.
- Goodnight girls. And thank you. It was amazing." Then he go inside. "How was it with him?" I ask Chuck. "Well he's really nice. We laughed a lot together.
- That's good. I hope something happens.
- What about you? I didn't expect Blake sleeps next to you and you push him away everytime he wants it.
- Well yeah. It must be a torture to him. It's been more than 2 or 3 weeks we didn't do anything. I feel bad about it.
- I'm sure he understands. You said you're hating yourself and blaming yourself. What happened?" I told her the story with Jim and how he killed himself for me. She was really surprised but told me fast "It's not really your fault. He did this to himself. He left you more than 10 years, he couldn't expect you still love him." I nodd. "Lizz take your time with Blake. But i think he's hurt too. You've been rejecting him for a while now. He loves you so much, that's why he forgive you all the time. You guys have been through a lot since you dated. You can survive this.
- I know. Maybe this is what scares me. I don't know if i can give him as much as he gives me. I'm scared that he loves me more than i love him and i don't want to hurt him.
- the way you look at him. I can know how madly you love him. You're lost these days that's why you're thinking like this.
- You must be right. I'm creating problems that doesn't even exist.
- Yeah probably. But i know you're gonna be fine. And you need him so don't let him go.
- Thank you Chucky. And i'm sorry i've been rejecting you too. But i really needed those two weeks alone.
- I would have appreciated a call but it's fine" she says laughing. I kiss her cheek and say "i know i'm sorry
- I forgive you. I don't have a choice you're my sister and i love you." I smile and we both go inside. "Goodnight Chucky
- night Lanz"
I go upstairs and enter my room. Blake was on his phone waiting for me. "I'm here. I was talking to Chuck. About what happened.
- It's fine. Don't worry" i smile and take my pijama and walk to the toilet to change, then i remember about what i talked with Chuck. I'll change in front of him, i don't want him to think i'm avoiding him or anything. I smile to him, and take off my clothes, i don't even wear a pijama, and go lay next to him. "Lana i understand if you don't want to show your body after what you've been through. You don't have to force yourself.
- But you don't have to go through this too. If we both work on this we can make it right." He smiles and kiss my fronthead. "Having you by my side is enough for me. I don't care about the sex or anything else. If you don't feel okay about yourself right now it's normal. I'm not gonna walk away, i'll stay even more.
- Help me love myself again." He nodd and take off the cover of the bed. He start staring at the marks that was still visible. And start kissing it. "If you didn't have those i wouldn't be here right now. I get on the top of him and start making out with him. "Lana i promise you i'll wait untill you're ready. Don't force yourself.
- i think i can be ready right now.
- if you think it's too much stop me okay?" I nodd and he takes off my bra and kiss my boobs, then go to my neck. I put my hand on him bringing him closer. "I missed you" i say. We both turn so he's on the top of me and he takes off my panties. "Lock the door" i say pushing him away. He does as told and take off his boxer then comes back to me. And he start fucking me slowly, i tried not to be too loud. I close my eyes and let him continue. Suddently i see Jim's face in my head. I got scared and i push him away shouting "Noooo!"
I open my eyes and see Blake standing looking at me worried. "Did i hurt you?" He asks me. "No i'm sorry. I just can't get him out of my head." I answer crying. He hand me my underwear and wear his boxer then lay next to me. "Baby it's fine. Don't cry."