Howl Silently My Love

My Beta gives Me Strength

“I really am disappointed in you Alex . . . but that doesn’t mean that I don’t love you . . .”

“I know . . .” I whispered.

When she disappeared I bolted up the staircase. I couldn’t stay in that atmosphere anymore; it was killing me. Now my mother was down stairs in her garden, probably worrying her head off about how this would all turn out. I knew it wouldn’t turn out very good and there was no point telling myself that it would. Before entering my room I stopped and leaned against the wall or some support. I couldn’t do this. My life was a mess and there was nothing I could do about it. Sure I could have been able to save myself but Nature wouldn’t tell me how. Then there was the question of Ryder. Nature said that I wouldn’t die but she never mentioned anything about him. Why would she take him away from me? He was all I had known, my connection to my pack and my past. If I could just see Nature again then I might have been able to either persuade or force her . . . no . . . no I wouldn’t. She would just send those wolves of hers again and who knew, they might finish me at the next encounter.

I took a deep breath then walked into my room and found Ryder still curled up in the centre of my bed. I walked over and threw myself on top of him, clinging to him as I would a pillow.

“Get off me, I’m not letting him come in here and I mean that.” Came his aloof voice.

I sighed. “He’s sleeping in Mom and Dad’s room, I wasn’t going to ask you to move, I just—I just really need you right now—“ Without any warning I found myself burying my face in his fur and crying.

“Maia?” There was now shock in his voice. When I didn’t respond he shifted so he was sitting. “Maia, what’s wrong?” I couldn’t even bring myself to answer, I just kept crying. How was I going to tell him that only he would die on the night of the harvest moon? I didn’t want to lose him. He was my bestfriend . . . how would I tell him that it didn’t matter how had we fought I would die in labour? We had a plan, fight for our lives and celebrate after. It wouldn’t be much of a celebration no matter what happened. Thinking about that made me cry even harder.

He licked my face, forcing me to look at him. His eyes told me that he didn’t understand but he wanted to.

“It’s over . . .”

“What? What’s over? Maia, talk to me!”  His voice was frantic as he tried to uncover the truth.

“We’re going to die and—“

“I thought I told you to stop thinking like that.” He reprimanded.

“No, you don’t understand. I found Nature, deep in the forest where nothing can destroy it. She says she won’t depend on us anymore so she’s going to get rid of us just like our pack then she’s going to use my daughter to—“

“Your daughter?” He asked incredulously.

I nodded, unable to stand hearing that word; it made me sick. “She made me pregnant and she says I’m going to die in labour—and-and my daughter,” I nearly choked on the word, “Is going to do what we couldn’t do; she’s going to rid the forest of the evil that lives in it.”

“What couldn’t we do? We don’t even have an assignment—she’s never told us to do anything!”

“I told her that and she chased me away.”

“No.” he got up and made his way to the door. “There’s something we can do, she’s not the final word and the future is not set in stone. We will beat her, prove her wrong and you won’t die giving birth—I won’t allow it. Don’t worry about it Maia, Nala told me to protect you and I’m prepared to die doing just that.”