Howl Silently My Love

Confessions

I threw my dress on then my shoes then I made my way to my mirror and ran the brush through my hair twice. I didn’t care how I looked anymore, I had lost the vibe to outshine Amber, in fact, I had lost the party mood completely.

“Okay I’m ready.” I said walking down the stairs. Mom turned to face me and was instantly astounded by what she saw.

“Wow, when I bought you that dress I never thought you would have been rocking it like that.” Mom said. “Remind me to borrow it sometime.” She joked with a wink.

“Sure mom—as long as I can borrow that pink shirt you have.” I had been stalking that shirt for months now but she would never let me wear it—not like I had anywhere to wear it to but that was beside the point. Mom rolled her eyes then went back to tossing a salad.

I looked over at Damen and caught him just staring at me. He didn’t say anything at all he simply sat down and looked over at me. Was he feeling alright?

“Um Damn? You ready?” I asked pulling him out of whatever thought he was having. He snapped awake then smiled at me as he got up.

“Yeah let’s go.” We both headed towards the door but I was kinda dragging my feet just waiting to hear mom tell me that I had to be home by 11. It wouldn’t have left much time for me to enjoy myself—though I doubt I would have anyway—but I was okay with it because I would do anything to make them trust me the way they used. I was actually shocked when I walked out of the house without hearing her say anything else other than ‘have a great time you two’. I was well confused actually. Wasn’t there some time restriction or some curfew or anything that would give me an excuse to leave early. I sighed inwardly; the one time I actually wanted a curfew and you’re telling me that that was the time Mom decided to be lenient?

Damen opened my door for me then he went over to his side and sat.

“Learning to be a gentleman, are we?” I teased.

“I was always a gentleman; you just make it hard for me to be.”

“And how is that?”

“Because,” He said with a casual shrug of his shoulder as he started the car, “You’re much more fun to mess with than to be polite around.”

“What?!”

He chuckled. “And that’s exactly why. You have these expressions and responses that I can’t not evoke in you. It really is hard to resist half the time especially when I know exactly which response I’ll get. It’s classic, tell you what, I’ll film you one day then let you see yourself then you’d want to provoke you too. I swear you’d get hooked too.”

I rolled my eyes. “Just drive the damn car.” I mumbled. He chuckled again then pulled out of the driveway.

I broke the silence of the drive after about 15 minutes. “So how are you going to break up with her?” I asked curiously.

“The same way I told you you were my mate.”

My eyes bulged wide. “Oh my god you’re going to attack her when she walks to a secluded spot aren’t you?!”

“What? No. I’m going to be straightforward. I hate going around bushes and sugar coating things was never my strong suit so what other way can I tell her other than ‘it’s over’?”

“Well there are nicer ways you know. You could crush her.”

“if I use a nicer way she’ll think I just need time and that I’ll change my mind before the end of the night then she’ll be all over me and I can’t be bothered with that—and whose side are you on anyway? You tell me to break up with her so you can have sex with a clear conscience—“

“I did not say that!—“

“And now you don’t want me to kick her to the curve because of that same damn conscience?”

“I didn’t say that either.”

“Do me a favour.”

“What?”

“Roll down your window.” I gave him a puzzled looked but he gestured towards the window. I sighed then rolled it down. “good now reach into you head and rip that thing out of its socket and throw it through the window so we can move on.”

“Really.” I said slightly annoyed. “I’m not going to get rid of my conscience; I’d rather throw you through the window.”

“But then you would lose your mate.” He said thinking he had the upperhand.

“Quel Dommage.” I said with a heavy dose of sarcasm. “What will I ever do without you?” I looked over and saw what looked like hurt on his face. Oh wow had he really taken that personally? It was technically a joke. He caught me looking over at him and he sighed.

“Of all my cousins I’m the only one whose mate not only hates him but can do perfectly well without him. Boy some luck huh?”

“Damen—“

"While growing up I used to watch a lot of people in the settlement walking around with their mates and they would always tell me how in love they were and how they couldn’t do without each other. I thought for sure that would have happened with me too but I guess not . . . you hate me don’t you?” he asked glancing over at me before his eyes went back to the road.

So that was it. It wasn’t that he was chauvinistic he was just looking for some happy end that didn’t exist. Granted it could have become a reality for him but he lost his mate as a result of his father and got stuck with me. What was nature even thinking when it stuck us together? We weren’t even compatible. . . We were both hot-headed, dominant, and to a good extent, aggressive. If there was ever a time that mother nature was wrong it was when she killed Damen’s mate and gave him to me.

“Well if you want honesty—“

“That would be nice.”

I nodded. “Then yes, I did hate you. I hated you and all your cousins and every summer I would sit by the lake and curse about how loud and obnoxious you were all being, especially you. I did hate you when you bit me and made me your mate, and yes I did hate you for taking my virginity but I guess if I have to be honest then I have to admit that you’ve kinda grown on me.” Glancing over I saw that he wasn’t looking at me but I could tell he was still listening. “I don’t know, it’s just that sometimes I can’t help but wonder why we’re mates. I don’t feel like I’m right for you . . . like maybe your old mate would have made you happier then I get to thinking that you wished you still had your old mate . . . instead of me.” I guess with all the run around it was about time we were honest with each other, especially since we would more than likely be together once he broke things off with Amber. “It’s even worse with Amber . . . you always running off with her tells me that I’m not enough so I just try not to be hoping you’ll make some choice or another . . .”

I heard him sigh and found myself staring at him. “I’ve never thought that you weren’t enough, you’re actually more than I can handle most times and I love that about you. Reina was very old fashion in every way you could think of which was why I got another girlfriend in the first place. You—you’re feisty, determined and you—well you intrigued me. I could tell from the first time I stole a kiss from you you were different and something worth pursuing. “

“Well now I guess now you see that there isn’t really much to intrigue. I’m just a girl without friends because she can’t keep them.”

“Or maybe you just haven’t found people worthy of your time.” He suggested. “Think about it, the students at our school aren’t exactly Grade A quality and half of them act like they’re still in middle school. You need someone like me, who’ll challenge you and give you a reason to argue.”

“Cocky much?” I joked.

“Eh, you know you like it.”