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One word that I never thought I would ever ask for in my entire life.

Samanan Anantrakul does not compromise!

I never did.

I set my terms and my rules, and I expect the world to bend to my whims and wants.
That's how I was raised, and that's how I've been living up until now

At the top of my own pyramid

It's funny how the Sam that I had long since built and perfected

The Sam I was so proud of had sunk so low and so many times for the sake of the same person

No, compromise is not even the right term to describe it.

This was far from compromise

Compromise actually means both parties win, and this couldn't be any farther from that

Lately, I felt like I could never win no matter how hard I tried

I couldn't win with Mon
I couldn't win over this damn mood swings and messed up emotions

I couldn't win from this stupid anxiety and self-doubt

Lately, all I felt like was a broken China
And i have no idea how to put myself back together

So no, I know full well that what I am trying to do is not compromise

I submitted. Grovelled. begged and Entreated.

I couldn't have been more pathetic, and I know my past self is laughing at me, but I wouldn't change anything if I get to have Mon

If I get to make Mon, stay by my side

I will willingly do it over and over again if i have to no questions asked

Before I met Mon, that logic never breached my mind.
It was too far of a concept for me to comprehend

I thought surely that would never happen to me

No, it was more that I refused to accept it was possible. Not for me, at least.

I was taught that compromise is only for those who are weak

Meeting in the middle is just for those who don't have the capability and power to get what they want

I believe I was right then when I chose to believe it, and I believe I am right now, too

Power is everything

The one who wants it more always loses.

As for me, i defaulted the power to Mon the moment I chose to love her

I gave her control, and well, I don't know if I should regret it now, but I always felt compelled to do everything and anything just to make her happy, and I couldn't really fight against my heart

The heart wants what it wants

At first, I argued against myself, saying this wasn't the first time I've made an exception

I deluded myself with excuses, saying
I also followed my grandmother's wishes to a T,

but then i also argued that i didn't do it willingly

I didn't want to accept it, but I hated every minute of it

I only did what she asked because she demanded it, and i simply had to follow

It was done out of duty, honor, and respect

I loved my grandmother

Yes, i did, but I felt like I owed her more

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