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===1 year ago===

Mon's POV

The first couple of days was hard

Sam's grandma stayed, and so the silence was always awkward between us three and the loud white hospital walls was the perfect background to our insanity

Me and her grandma just wasted time staring at each other and Sam was still stuck with her tube and oxygen, so she still couldn't talk either, making this officially the worst bonding time ever...the silence almost unbearable, i even had the urge to shout every once in a while just to see if it echoes across the walls.

See? Not a good sign.

Sometimes, it irkes me how silent everything has been, then realize i would rather have this silence then to talk to her grandma alone

So here i was going back and forth in my mind and at the end, i both loved and hated the silence
hahaha the harsh complexities of the human mind

Give her credit...
Grandma was true to her word

she didn't show any distaste in our relationship, which of course I was thankful for.

We had enough problems as it is.
We didn't need another massive nuclear bomb adding to our already complicated life coz trust me...

I knew that, though Sam chose me... finally chose me and don't get me wrong I'm ecstatic about that!

I knew how hard it was for her to choose me but she still did and I was greatly comforted by that...knowing Sam loved me... She loved me a lot.

But no matter how much Sam loved me,
I knew... her grandma would've been a big problem if she still insisted to separate us again.

Sam would definitely be hurting again and I didn't want that...
so here I am trying all that I could to get along with her.

The woman, though this may sound odd but, as time passed, has somehow little by little grew on me...

I know I'm rolling my eyes at myself too
I'm such a softie sigh!

I mean, i still hated her, well at least I think I do... but i kinda like understand her now.

The way she thinks, the way she expresses herself, the reasons why she does the things that she does, her preparedness, her strength...

This woman brought us so much pain but I admired her

Her being Sam's grandma to boot and knowing how much she meant to her, kind of forced me to love her too in a weird complex kind of way

She showed that she was full on board with us staying together and even boldly stated a couple of times, not so subtlely, I might add, that she was waiting on her grandkids.

To this, Sam and I would always blush, share deep looks that lingered way too long without being unnoticed

And whenever that happened, we would always get teased but still neither Sam nor I ever really broached the subject again...
I think Sam is trying to escape the topic like its the plague or something

I don't even know if us avoiding the talk is a good thing or a bad thing really.

Sometimes her silence makes me insecure

I know what her eyes are telling me...
It never fails to express how much she loves me, but there are just some things that u need to be said and this was one of them

It's funny how you would miss the silence with someone and hate it at the same time

I guess we're just weird like that

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