CHAPTER 6 : MY TRUTH

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M: so uhmm...your grandma approached me one day and told me I was basically not good enough for you

I was surprised at first because it came out of nowhere

I mean i thought she accepted our relationship already, so it really came as a surprise... A bad one

I knew she didn't like me for you Sam

That was pretty obvious

Everyone could tell

But i thought, u know we had already gone through that hurdle once and had won,

I thought it was time for our happy ending, u know...

but I couldn't be more wrong

(I closed my eyes and tried to stop my tears from falling.
I was already breathing hard

This was the first time I talked to anyone about this and it's terrifying

My wounds kept opening up again no matter how hard i tried to push them away

I knew she really was ok with us now...i knew that but why?

Why does those memories seem so vivid?

Why does it still hurt like this?

Sam grabbed my hand and started to draw small circles at the back of my hand... Slowly easing my nerves until i was able to compose myself enough to continue talking)

M: She was just tolerating me Sam

She never liked me

I mean deep down I always knew but i still hoped to be accepted by the person u loved the most

But she didn't want me for u Sam, and with due reason

S: Mon...

(She tried cupping my face to try to give me assurance, but now's not the right time, so I just shook my head at her and begged her to let me continue before I lose my nerve)

M: She told me that our love wasn't enough to be together

She told me that I was weak and that if I wanted to stay by your side, I needed to improve myself first

I really was so stupid to think that she accepted me Sam

She never did but I was somehow happy that she gave me a chance

Stupid right?

I should have known better..

But u know, despite everything...
It took her years before she voiced out her opinions of me and I wanted to thank her for that

I guess I really just failed her haha

(I tried forcing my tears back so without meaning too I laughed sarcastically, earning me a sad smile from Sam)

I felt relieved at first Sam because I thought she just was giving me more training or was giving me more homework,

I thought that was definitely doable!

Nothing i couldn't handle right?

Anything for you...

But then she told me that I had to leave u Sam

(I saw Sam gripping the sheets hard. Her hands were almost white. I was worried about her.
I knew she knew some of the story, but I guess it really feels different when it comes directly from me. This is why I was dreading our truths)

M: I knew i didn't deserve u Sam

S: Mon...

(I shook my head at her again, indicating that I was okay and was urging her to let me finish...

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