CHAPTER 23 : DECISION

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M: Ray, Sam is getting worse

R: Mon, we have established that long ago. It's you who kept denying it

M: Please don't blame me
I was just...I

R: I'm not blaming you
I know, and I understand
I'm just happy that u finally decided to accept reality.
Mon, We can't delay Sam's treatment

M: I want to help her Ray...
I... I just don't know how

R: Being indecisive and weak will not help Mon
Apologies, but we need to force her

M: But how can I even do that, Ray?
What if.. what if Sam will feel betrayed?
What if she stops loving me?
What will I do then?

R: Mon, Sam, not loving you is impossible
You should know this by now
That woman is seriously obsessed with you, Mon
She is not normal
Her reliance on you is not normal

M: Am I wrong in trying to protect her Ray?

R: No, you are wrong in thinking that you are protecting her this way, Mon.

In reality, all you were doing was delaying
You've cuddled her too much Mon, and she has gone worse because of it

If you want Sam to go back to the Sam that we once knew, then you have to force her to learn how to live without you, Mon

M: Are u telling me to leave her Ray?!

R: I didn't say that, Mon
You know where we stand
I want you to make a decision
Both for yourself and for Sam

Will you leave her or stay?

M: Ray, I'll die if I leave, Sam!
I can't do that!
Anything but that!

R: Then don't u already know the answer Mon?

M: Meds?

R: Yes or rehab

M: Can I mix the meds into her meals?
I can try sneaking it in

R: That won't work Mon
She will know eventually
There are side effects to mood stabilizers and antidepressants Mon

M: What?! U never told me that before Ray!
How can u ask me to give Sam drugs that will make her suffer?!
No! I can't do that to her Ray!

R: The side effects are temporary Mon, and it is nothing she couldn't handle
She needs this Mon
Both of u need this!
I wouldn't have recommended it otherwise
You need to make a choice Mon

M: But how can I even choose Ray?
How come it looks like none of my choices would end well

R: Don't let your fear consume you, Mon

You need to stay firm and decide for the both of you, Mon.

When it becomes hard, I need you to remember what your goal was

Why are u doing this?

Why were u fighting so desperately?

You wanted the both of u to be free from your trauma, right?
You want to heal, Sam...
Then do it for Sam, Mon...

M: I...

R: Mon, look at me
You wanted the both of you to be more honest with each other, right?

You wanted to be each other's support...
To be each other's strength

Well, unless you tell her what you need, Mon, she could never give it to you

M: Even if I tell her, she couldn't. No, she wouldn't give me what I want.

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