CHAPTER 15 : BABY

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S: Mon, im sorry
Please dont leave me!!!

(Sam said with a pained voice
I could hear the slight cracking of her voice and the hoarseness with every word she said

She hugged me tighter and refused to let go

Sometimes, i really want to open up Sam's brain to see how it works
After everything that we have been through, does she really think i could ever leave her?)

M: I couldn't afford to leave u even if I wanted to Sam
I thought u already knew that by now

(She let go and turned my body toward her. She then held my face and asked with tears in her eyes)

S: Promise me you won't leave me Mon!
U won't leave me, right?!
I was wrong! I was wrong Mon!
I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
Please dont leave me!

(Sigh! Seeing Sam like this is really painful
When the doctors told us that she was mentally unstable, we didn't predict that it would be this bad!

Just me leaving her for a couple of hours is enough for her to almost have a mental breakdown!!!

How am I even able to get mad at her in the future then?!

Should I live on the fact that I could never win against her?!

I want a normal relationship!

I deserve to be allowed to be upset and tired!

I deserve to be moody and unreasonable sometimes!

I want to be doted and pampered too!

No! Never! I will never allow our relationship to stay like this!
We won't last like this!

By hook or by crook Sam, i will make sure i get my Sam back!
I need to schedule our sessions ASAP!)

M: Sam, I won't leave u!
I love u Sam!
I would never leave u!
Don't worry.
Even when the rest of the world turns their back on you, trust that I never will!
U are stuck with me for the rest of your life! Do u hear me, Sam?

S: Can u promise me Mon?
Promise me that no matter what, u will never give up on me?

M: Sam, u really are underestimating my love for you
Can't u see that you are my world and my everything?
Leaving u would kill me too Sam
I am not that stupid!

S: But... but u were leaving Mon

M: What do u mean I was leaving?

S: I would always know when u are nearby Mon, coz only then would my heart be at ease

I was waiting for u to come in
but u never did
I was begging u to come in
Didn't u feel it, Mon?
How desperate I was to be with u

(I was caught off guard.
Apparently, I would never qualify as a spy in my life
I never thought Sam could see through me so easily

If it were any other person, I would have been terrified right now

Having someone know u to this extent was scary

But with Sam, it just felt comforting

Knowing that I have someone who was willing to get to know me this deeply and for her to have succeeded to know me better than I know myself is endearing.

U were right Sam, for a moment , I really hesitated, but I will never admit it

I am sorry Sam!

I was weak
but I promise, I wouldn't have left for good!
I just wanted to breathe a little!
I wasn't at fault, right?
I just wanted to throw a little tantrum!)

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