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It took a lot to stabilize Sam and by a lot, I really meant a lot

For the next couple of days after her breakdown, we had to constantly sedate her, and then after that, it was back to her eery silence and blank stares

She was not talking.
She decided not to talk.
Knowing Sam, she was probably trying to temper her mind first and took her sweet time at it too

I swear Sam can oftentimes be infuriating, but even still, I love her and wouldn't dream of anything else than to be beside her despite her moods.

When the doctors gave the go signal after about 8 days of waiting, I decided it was time to finish what we started.

I, of course, told her grandmother about it first and then asked for the opinion of her doctor before I proceeded with my intentions

I learned firsthand how dangerous the emotions I evoked in her had been and knew from that moment how fragile Sam is right now,

It's way worse than everybody had thought, and knowing that, it Gripped my heart painfully and desperately

so this time around, I intend to be as cautious and as prepared as I could ever be

I couldn't bear to see Sam go through that same hell again, especially not without the guarantee that she could get past it and come back to me

I also didn't want to go through that same horror of seeing the love of your life breaking down and losing themselves entirely, especially not when I know it's my own doing that caused it

It's one of the growing memories that I had earned lately that truly and deeply traumatized me without end.

Let's go Mon it's now or never

I steadied my brittle heart and forced to stabilize my breathing.
Then, with a smile I tried to make as naturally as possible, I opened the door and braced myself to talk to Sam once and for all

U can do it Mon!
No matter what happens, you must get Sam to agree!

Upon entering the door, I found Sam looking down at her laptop, frowning with a slight look of annoyance clearly placed on her delicate face

M: ChamCham

(And just like that, my smile dropped

She was so absorbed in what she was doing that she didn't even notice me calling her.

I frowned

The feeling of being ignored had been setting my mood sour rather obviously lately, and I had no intentions of hiding it from her

With renewed confidence, I sashayed toward her and yanked the laptop away from her the moment I was close enough to grab it

This had for a moment left her confused before it developed into annoyance but when she saw that I was the culprit, she quickly stilled and smiled)

S: Hi Love :) I didn't notice you arriving. I'm sorry. (She then opened her arms wide, signaling for a hug)
How were your classes?

M: Classes were boring as usual.
It's hard to concentrate when my mind is constantly filled with you

S: Aww, someone's extra sweet today.
But Mon, my arms are getting lonely...
Where's my hug?

M: I was supposed to give my ChamCham a hug and a kiss because I missed her a lot, but then she just so happened to ignore me when I called her earlier, so as a punishment, I am forgoing it

(Hearing my reply, Sam dropped her hands to her side and pouted.

Sam looked so adorable. So cute when she pouted!
It took all of my self-control, not to coo at her and give in to the big baby!

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