CHAPTER 20 : SACRIFICES

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It's been a week, and Mon had done everything she could to pretend that she didn't remember about Sam's worsening condition.

She was in denial and pretending was all she could do for herself
She believed if she pretended hard enough, eventually it would become her reality

She took a couple of days off from school, dropped everything, and focused all her time on Sam

She spent every waking moment with Sam and even skipped her own sessions to come and sit in on Sam's sessions

She wanted to see with her own eyes that the treatment plan Sam currently was on was hopeless

She was still hanging on to a little bit of hope that the doctor was wrong.
Sam was improving! She had to be!

Mon was fighting against her better judgement and was trying to make herself believe that Sam's progress had been great, but all Mon got was disappointment and misery in the end.

She had to admit defeat someday, right?
She just couldn't imagine the consequences if she did.

No! she dare not imagine it!

Despite knowing all the facts, she was still too scared to move.

She was utterly stuck trapped in uncertainty

The treatment was not working!

There was no doubt it wasn't working, but what could she even do about it?
Sam will never accept the other alternatives!

Mon observed Sam desperately, hoping to find some clues to fix her psyche, but found that even with Mon present to supervise and scold Sam whenever she chooses not to open up, Sam wasn't cooperating

Her usual tactics were no longer working

Sighing, guilt tripping, pleading, crying, and bargaining no longer worked on Sam

She would merely answer the questions plainly and refused to say what's on her mind

She initially thought, just like their couples sessions, that Sam would change seeing her there with her.
She was praying that Sam could draw strength from knowing that she was there to support and love her, but gave up on her illusion forcefully after admitting that she didn't give Sam anything she needed.

Sam had instead become worse
She spent her time looking, hugging and kissing Mon even when she was supposed to be talking

She didn't care about her sessions at all and was simply focusing on Mon

Mon admitted painfully that her presence made the sessions worse

Now Sam didn't even have an inkling of motivation left to do anything else but be with her.

She finally accepted that she couldn't save Sam

This was Mon's wake-up call.

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Mon spending more time with Sam made Sam more energetic and ecstatic

To everybody else, she looked extremely happy and was showing great signs of improvement, but for Mon, who knew Sam more than Sam knew herself, knew that Sam was getting worse

She became more clingy and was always seeking Mon's attention and affection

She became more and more affectionate and dependent toward Mon

This wasn't the Sam that Mon knew

She knew this wasn't Sam at all

As much as she wanted to be happy knowing how much she meant to Sam, she knew this was no longer love but rather obsession

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